Dating sites

I'm not really ready to actively pursue dating. I'm really enjoying being single. I love being in complete control of my time and what I want to do. I hate being in a relationship and feeling that I have to compromise who I am or what I want to do. I'm guessing that is likely a personal flaw of my own that I bring into relationships. Although in most of my relationships, I've been the one to wear the pants, and I don't think it's always been by choice.

Anyway, the ex-bf and I met on match.com. I knew he wasn't really a match for me, but then I wasn't really interested in dating anyone anyway. When I broke up with him for 10 months the time before, I felt drawn back to the site to see what was there. Maybe since it's just easier to have hundreds even thousands of potential prospect dates at your finger tips. It kind of takes out a lot of the work of getting out and trying to meet people through a variety of venues, and in my case, not successful ones.

The other night I found myself back on match.com just looking around. I was amazed by how many faces I had seen on there before. In telling the story to my girlfriend she said, "Wow, what a bunch of losers!" I said "Oh yeah, what does that make me then since I was there too?"

Some say that myspace is the new free dating site. Last night I was surfing around on that just to see if there was anything to peak my interest. I just find it so hard to understand people's real motivation and then there's the trust factor. Not that people can't blatantly be as deceiving or dishonest in person as well, but sometimes it seems like online daters may play the field more, of course that's my own opinion and experience.

Yesterday at work, my girlfriend mentioned that she was going on a date for drinks afterward. I began asking her questions about him and how they met. She was hesitant to say that it had been online, why is there still such a stigma when it seems that the majority of people spend 1/4 or more of their lives online? But there is. Anyway, she met him through a dating site - matchmaker international. I was APPALLED to hear about this site.

Matchmaker International apparently bought out a Just lunch dating site a while back, which she was a member and enjoyed. I asked her if she had a picture of the guy and she said no, pictures weren't exchanged. That for one was shocking to me - not that relationships are based on looks - but no one is going to deny that chemistry has something to do with a relationship. She said that matchmaker sets people up on dates and then emails them information. She showed me the email for this particular date.

This was the appalling part ~ they send out full names, addresses, phone numbers and some background information of both parties to each other! SERIOUSLY? I would NEVER want a prospective date to have my personal information like that. If and when I choose to share, I will. I believe that somethings should be confidential until the situation feels safe or the person is trustworthy. Maybe I've been stalked a few too many times, maybe not.

She said that she was glad that I also found it unsettling as did she. But she did try to defend matchmaker by saying that they perform all background checks on everyone. Oh, then I guess it's OK - NOT! Clearly I believe that the agency/service should have that information, but to provide it to others, that's just downright SCARY.