I really, really, really do try not to talk about child support and my son's father. I really do. But seeing that I use this blog as a way to vent, tonight I just can't resist. It's been one of those days.
This morning I picked up my vacation package (aka certificate) for Grenada and realized I forgot that there were blackout dates. Fortunately, after some very quick email responses from the resort, I pretty much have it figured out that I am planning on going to Grenada (sans romantique) with my son and my mom ~ a really family vacation! Based on when my son will likely be done with baseball (mid-July) and when school resumes (after Labor Day) and blackout dates, that pretty much leaves...August.
A few years ago, in an effort to lower child support (which is already increasingly low since I agreed to joint custody as money wasn't the issue a decade ago ~ my son's dad wanting a relationship with our son was) he requested extended parenting time in the summer and alternating Spring Break and Christmas holidays. Due to the joint custody, this isn't customary, but my son's dad wouldn't know or remember that anyway. Remember, it's all about cost savings. Anyway, long story short we agreed on two weeks during the summer ~ consecutive or not ~ and alternating one week at Christmas and the entire Spring Break. Mind you, despite the strong push for vacation time in the summer - my son's dad only has three weeks vacation throughout the year which he spends 1.5+ weeks to hunt in November, minimally and we live in the same town! Sigh...in addition, in now 11 years he has only ever taken him out of the state of Michigan once, to Ohio to see his wife's family on New Years Eve a few years ago. NICE. Needless to say, when the extended parenting time was ordered, he immediately requested a new evaluation of child support which was denied as it wouldn't lower since it evened out for both parties. You can imagine his response.
Last year, neither of us exercised extended parenting time in the summer. It's difficult with our son's baseball then football/soccer schedules and we all feel that those commitments are important. To an extent. My son wants to go to Grenada. I figure August will be good, a few weeks before school starts and after baseball ends. I approached my son's dad about it today, and in his typical response I got an "I don't know. I don't know my schedule." He never knows, anything. The court order states that if an agreement of summer vacation time can't be agreed upon to put it in writing after May 1. Of course his next response, what about sports? What about it? He may have practice that he can miss. Afterall, during Spring Break it was ok for him to send our son to his paternal grandparents and miss two baseball practices, but not OK for me to take him somewhere. This !@#$ is getting old. If I'm lucky, he may let me know by August 1, 2008 if it works for him. At which point, if it doesn't, I'll bill him for the plane and the extra costs endured that he's refusing or son...because he can.
Then, for the past several years I've been dealing with Friend of the Court regarding payment and bonuses. The order, a decade ago issued that he pay a portion of his bonuses to FOC within 14 days. For eight years, he never did. When I finally asked FOC to enforce their order, they told me it had been too long and to hire an attorney if I felt I was owed something. Can't I ever get a break? Anyway, over these few years, pretty much any "bonus" check I have received, within months they seem to credit back to the account plus some to take it back. Two years ago now, Spring Break they did this for a large amount of money and withheld over 75% of my child support for four months until the credit was cleared. After a year of "auditing" this March they finally agreed they made a mistake and that he owes back twice what was withheld. Of course he'll only be charged an arrearage fee less than 30% of what I was charged! Of course the Supervisor empathizes, but that's the system for you. I happened to notice a bigger check deposited than normal in my account tonight - about 3x my bi-monthly payment and about 25% of what is apparently owed, I checked the 24 hour hotline to see what the balance was. WHAT? The balance is now a credit, yes a credit of the initial amount that he was suppose to owe me in the first place! Unreal. I simply do not know how much I can handle the chronic incompetence of FOC.
A few months ago, I even called an attorney to see about suing FOC based on negligence and incompetence and was told that they have immunity or something. I find that to be a crock of bull. If DHS (DCFS) can be sued, why can't FOC?
Clearly the Supervisor has acknowledged the worker and staff errors over the years on the case. I really thought that it would be different. Again, I put too much faith into incompetent people. So I left a message for the Supervisor tonight just shy of midnight, maybe he'll get my point. He's acknowledged that he dreads hearing my calls since he knows that again somethings been f'd up.
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