Beamed Balls...Practice

After opening day of baseball season, a male parent began to talk to my son and I about the best way to practice hitting. He advised that if you master his method, regardless of the speed of a pitched ball...you will hit it! Easy enough, right?

The Method (As described by said man): Purchase wiffle golf balls. Get a broomstick. Have mom/dad or said adult sit on a bucket about yeah distance away - from here to there (I'm depth and perception challenged...so say 10 feet away). Adult shall then throw the wiffle golf balls while said batter attempts to hit them. Batter will miss the first 20 or so pitches.

Easy enough, right? Off we went to the store and purchased three dozen wiffle golf balls. We debated the holes vs. no holes and went with the holes. 12 wiffle golf balls were 1.99 (-15%) whereas in the baseball aisle yellow colored wiffle golf ball sized 12 pack were 4.00. Then taking the smallest broom handle we own - which actually came from a child sized rake in the garage - I removed the rake and we had the "bat".

The weather wasn't really cooperating. I also didn't want to be chasing missed pitches and hits all around the yard. So what did I propose? (Really, I did graduate from college in three years - I realize one may not realize this, but honestly, I did!)...

Lock said dumb parent (aka myself) in the one car garaged with said 13 year old son to keep the balls in the garage. At first, to allow for air circulation we kept the garage open, which only allowed the balls to escape underneath. We eventually closed the garage door entirely - seeing that 36 wiffle golf balls can be thrown in a matter of minutes at most there was no way we were going to suffocate or trap ourselves with asphyxiation of my various gas cans and mowers!

Soon after beginning the process, my son started to get the hang of it. I'm sure you are much brighter and intelligent than I, so what happened?

I started getting beamed and pegged by wiffle golf balls. First it was the knee. Then it was the finger. Then it was the knuckle. The shin. The head. Ok, I may not be the brightest bulb!

When the line drive to the chest came, I couldn't help but scream, "Oh my God! I don't want to grow a third boobie!" as I wailed in subsequent pain. Needless to say, my son crossed his legs and doubled over in hysterics laughing, snorting and trying to get out, "You so did not just say that! That is SO WRONG!" Of course he continued to laugh. Me, I continued to grab my chest as if dying from a fatal shot (Afterall it was a rocket of a wiffle ball launched at me!)

Torture...is this what I signed up for? Of course it is...and since he beamed me in the neck I feared the hickie look to...maybe the bag over my head will be a better look for me!

March 20

A day of firsts...

Thirteen years ago on March 20, 1997, I gave birth to my son. A true gift. A blessing. An amazement. I am thankful for every day, every day that he has been part of my life. He has brought so much joy, happiness, and maturity to my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. It is truly amazing how sometimes the things that are unplanned, which we are completely unprepared, turn into our greatest treasures and successes.

T was with his dad this weekend. He may be celebrating his birthday with several friends next weekend. I'm pretty much left in the dark on this one - seeing that invitations aren't really for teenagers. So I'm putting it all in my son's hands and winging it that there may or may not be kids that just come over to stay the night! I surely hope I know before anyone arrives!

On March 20, 2010, I taught my first training class. A required training for prospective foster parents. It was my first training and I have to say I didn't feel completely prepared, but as prepared as I was going to be. With some help from the trainer before me and another on the phone, we were able to connect my laptop to the projector and everything was a go.

I thought the training went really well. I actually really enjoyed it and am looking forward to teaching more. I may even volunteer to teach more than I'm required. I would just prefer that the trainings weren't in the evenings or on the weekend! I was able to dismiss the class about ten minutes early. I had a few stay after to ask questions, with the final woman staying to talk to me for an hour. So by the time I locked up the building, it was over 1.5 hours after my training ended!

Another new momentous first on March 20, 2010. I'm almost thinking that maybe I've found my niche. Sharing, speaking, training...as long as I wear a turtleneck so no one can see my neck get blotchy, I might have a future!

T's Television

T and I went television shopping on Saturday after his NHD school event. Trust me, it was a long day! We spent a few hours television shopping and I took notes on what T was interested so that he could comparison shop. It amazed me how easily he was able to part with his money, especially since he really liked the idea of buying his own television for the basement.

He narrowed the search down to two televisions. Different brands, 2" difference, "as is" vs. new and different stores. I was completely not in favor of the "as is" which was identified as having been purchased and returned two days later. It was a Sony Bravia 40". The other television was 42" Philips, new for $2.00 less; however, the Bravia was at ABC where they are willing to beat any price (or so they claim). After T made numerous calls to DK who was internet comparison shopping and giving customer reviews, T decided he wanted to "wheel and deal" at ABC Warehouse. Needless to say the Customer Service Reps laughed in his face when he walked in and said I (in dress clothes - pants, shirt, tie, dress shoes and almost 13 years old) "I want to wheel and deal. I'll give you $450 out the door!"

I have to admit that seeing that it was his gig, I kept completely out of it, standing on the sideline. A different CSR said, "You can't even get a 32" for that price!!!" So T and I looked at each other, said OK and walked toward the door. The initial CSR hollered, "I'll give it to you for $565 plus tax!" At this point, I finally said something which included purchasing a brand new television, with warranty, never open, two inches bigger and significantly less. The guy then asked where and when I told him he said, if it's a Philips, yeah we don't carry that. Seriously, I don't know how they stay in business - I've never had decent customer service there or anything even remotely price competitive to anywhere else!

T was actually rather bummed though. While the same Philips television was at Sam's club and $60 less than the price at Meijer, with the Meijer discount on Monday, it would be over $60 less than Sam's. T was hoping that he could be with me to purchase his television and ride in the car with it and bring it in the house. Unfortunately, unless he wanted to go before school, it just wasn't possible as he was with his dad in the evening.

I picked up the television during the day. Unfortunately the first Meijer I went to didn't have one left. The Meijer across town did and off I went to purchase the television. It fit rather nicely in the back of my car, not the tight squeeze of the 47" television I purchased! I have to admit it went in the car with the help of the sales woman much easier than me getting it out of the car solo! The television was downstairs, still in the box, when T arrived home from school.

He was super excited to have his television. He wanted to set it up, but wasn't going to do so with me at work. Good thing, since the television is heavy, way too heavy for him alone!

I did set up the television tonight, struggling with whether or not to wait for him or not. JA is coming over to sleep though in the morning as she has a house showing, so I didn't want her to be without television. The television is all hooked up and I even got it working! I'm making progress with my electronics! I'll work on putting the room back together later!

I have to say though, the television still looks very small along the basement wall. The old television might have been a 27" or 29" and this is a 42" and it still looks small. Exactly how is that? I think it has to do with the difference in the size of the television box vs. the flat screen. He wants to keep both televisions downstairs and connected to utilize both for his party and the ability to play different gaming systems simultaneously.

What a boy wants, what a boy needs, whatever makes him happy...

Regionals

My son is participating in the Regional Competition for National History Day. It is being held at a nearby college. Well 40 minutes away nearby.


A week ago he shared with me that he would be missing his baseball draft. What? I have NHD Regionals. Since when? Sigh, 'cause I'm a good parent and I remember these things from September, if your child advances to Regionals it will be held on March 13. Right, of course I remember these things, like I remember where I put my purse! (Since I have now left my purse twice in the past week - once in a conference room at work and I had to retrieve it the next morning, on my day off! And then Thursday I left it at a friend's house.)


I've considered driving him back for the tryouts, but it just doesn't make sense. Besides, one of the coaches moved up and I would love to have T on his team. We have been on AllStar teams together and I've enjoyed his coaching abilities. Seeing that T is moving up a league, there are mainly all new coaches, coaches that don't know T. I'm OK with that as it may give him a better chance to be with LK. Ultimately, I'm just glad that his coach for the past six years is not coaching this year. I do believe in miracles.

Tonight while walking T said that his teacher would be bringing a tie for him tomorrow. What? He has a tie, at his dad's, from his great grandmother's funeral. Dress pants too. Where are they? At his dad's. But...he did bring back his dress shoes. Sigh.

Clearly, I'm not going to have him wear a tie from his teacher. We aren't a charity case. And seeing that T wanted to wear a striped shirt of blues and blacks, who knows if the tie would even match. So, after our hour walk, we got home and he tried on more clothes. Then off we went to shop. Our favorite activity. One of the many. Not.

We head over to Kohl's since everything is on sale and I had an additional 15% off coupon. T hates, hates, hates blue jeans. I occasionally buy him a pair and he outgrows them after wearing them once. For some reason, he believes that blue jeans are dress pants. There were a couple pair on the clearance rack and he actually liked them. He went on to tell me how his friends tease him that he never wears jeans. Both pairs fit him and we bought them. Totally the reason for going shopping tonight. Not.

We found a pair of black dress pants and he is now in "husky". He's put on some weight, as have I, and tonight he blamed it on our Grenada trip in 2008. That he's gained weight ever since then because we ate so late and he doesn't eat as well anymore. He thinks it's affected his metabolism. I think we exercise less and eat worse. But anyway. He picked out a shirt/tie combo (clip on - which he thinks is the BEST EVER!) that fit really well. Did you know they have zip ties? They are most bizarre. Anyway...

We also went sock shopping. And belt shopping. Nothing like shopping the night before a BIG event where he is to be judged on a website he created and get through an interview. He even asked if he should wear cologne but was sensitive enough to know that even one spray would make me gag on the drive over. I suggested that he should spray it when we get there. He offered he could spray it on before bed so it would be just right in the morning. Smart kid.

He really is growing up, despite the clip on tie! Dress pants, dress shirt (that I even ironed both - my favorite!), tie, dress socks and shoes...It's almost like I'm dressing him for his first dance.

Ah, eighth grade dance...I still have one more year...one more year...how time flies!

Walking and Talking

Things have been crazy busy as of late. I've been working hard and playing hard and enjoying March and new beginnings with a vengeance. Of course in doing so, I've managed to continue my streak of not working out and ultimately gaining weight. Not a good combo considering my upcoming vacation and cruise, but I still have a few weeks to make some changes!

Tonight after working late and running errands, I grabbed Chinese takeout en route to the house. T and I ate dinner and I asked if he wanted to go for a walk. T's been rather strange lately, from wanting nothing to do with mom in public to wanting nothing but attention in private. With less than two weeks left until the official teenage years, I'm embracing it all and taking what I can get! He was more than eager and willing to go for a walk and brought his basketball along to bounce while we walked and talked.

Back when I was training for the Breast Cancer 3 Day, T would walk about 3-4 miles with me, that was 2007 when he was more malleable! We enjoyed the pleasant evening and talked about school and his upcoming birthday. We talked about friends and tales and woes. We meandered up and down sidewalks, over cracks and across streets. He bounced his ball and we talked and talked and talked. I figured after about 30 minutes, he would be done. He wanted to continue. Even so much as to say that we need to walk more often, "like every day Mom!"

Of course I'm all for the exercise. Besides, it seems like with the winter and our personal laptops since the late fall, we've done less and less together. Of course things will get busy with baseball season but for now, I'll embrace every opportunity that I have to engage with my son!

T & Trouble

The other night my son was badgering me to tell him about the worst thing he has EVER done. Anyone who knows my son and who knows me, Ok what I mean to say is knows my son, will know that he's a complete angel. Really, he is. I don't even say that with an ounce of sarcasm.

I couldn't come up with a thing. Sure when he was two or three he did the occasional lying. He did the tattle telling. He had some issues with poor sportsmanship. I think he went through a very brief biting phase. Don't all kids? I have never spanked him. He had fewer time-outs than I can recall on one hand. Pretty much all I had to do was tell him I was disappointed in his behaviors or actions and he would cry. We would talk about it and that was that. Honestly, I can't recall anything that T has done that was bad. Not yet at least. I even suggest that he call grandma that maybe she could recall something or ask his dad.

Now the stories of my brother - well those I can tell you about!

I'm not sure if T was prepping me. I know that at some point and I'm hoping it's more mischief than delinquent behaviors, he will do something. He has to, he's a kid! I'm assuming it will come about the time he starts to date, or drive or work.

Except, it came sooner than I could have imagined. Or did it?

Last night, T seemed really sad. We had dinner and had small conversation. He seemed tired and quiet. I prepared for my weekend away - tuned my skis, did laundry, cleaned up the kitchen from dinner...and then we sat down to watch the Olympics and Survivor while I folded the clothes. He had already voluntarily taken a shower while I was on the phone - wishing my brother a Happy 39th birthday! T sat next to me on the couch.

I asked him if he was OK. I asked if there was anything he wanted to discuss, at which point, wrapped in his blanket he laid down and buried his head behind me on the couch and began to cry and through his sobs attempted to tell me what was going on. Clearly and completely indecipherable. I rubbed his back and told him to take deep breaths and to sit up and tell me what was going on.

T got a DETENTION.

Clearly he was emotionally upset and had been all evening and was likely afraid to tell me. I think like me, his fear is personal. It isn't a fear of what I may do, but a fear of disappointing someone, of letting them down, of letting yourself down.

T received a Detention from a substitute teacher of his Gifted and Talented class. He didn't even know it. Apparently the day before two students were throwing something and T was accused of being part of it. He wasn't, which he says and I have no reason to doubt him. He wasn't able to talk to the substitute teacher because apparently the teacher wrote down names on a list without ever speaking to the students (I'm going to refrain from what I really think about this!!!!). Three were identified to the teacher the following day, T being one of them. T addressed it with his GT teacher but the Teacher said seeing that he wasn't there, he had no idea what had happened and therefore T had to serve a Detention during lunch this upcoming Monday.

T is nervous about Detention. I tried to explain what I thought Detention would be, to the best of my knowledge, although I can't even recall if some 20 years ago, I ever served Detention. I want to say that I did. I know that in elementary school I had to wear gum on my nose or sit on the floor for rocking chairs and falling - but I always made it fun!

Is it awful that I'm glad that T got Detention?

Maybe glad isn't the right word. I want him to understand that he doesn't have to be perfect. Sure it sucks that he got in trouble for something he didn't do, but it isn't the end of the world. Detention can serve two purposes - help him to understand it's OK to not be perfect or to scare him from ever getting in trouble at school! And honestly, I'm all for the learning lesson!

I think T was relieved that I wasn't mad. I have no reason to be mad at him. Even if he did do it! He has punished himself enough. I also didn't see any reason to contact the teacher and fight a battle for something so trivial. Not yet at least.

However, I did mention when I tucked T into bed that maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner Monday night, I wouldn't want him to think I was rewarding him for his first Detention! =)

Pee Hole

My son will be thirteen in March. Thirteen. He stands over 5'3" tall, 116 pounds, has had an ever increasingly dark growing mustache for almost two years (both of his parents are beyond hairy, poor kid), size 9 mens shoe and is in the 7th grade. He plays sports all season long and is actually quite intelligent, or so his Gifted and Talented participation and teachers claim. So...regardless of all of our sex education talks (I could have opted him out of Health class - because clearly I AM THAT GOOD OF A TEACHER) he is taking health daily for the next six weeks to actually learn something appropriate (not to be confused with, "My momma says" similar to that of Adam Sandler in WaterBoy).

I'm going to start off by saying one of our first conversations of the evening happened to be my asking for permission to apply for a flight attendant position, one of 20 being announced in the area. Even while brushing his teeth in the bathroom, I could see and feel him cringe and his garbled responses came oh so quickly, "What? Why? Where would I stay?"

Me, "With your dad of course." Which he quickly responded, "I see him every other weekend and Wednesdays and...that's enough."

So I guess that's out of the picture then? Yep...

As I was tucking him into bed, he begins to talk about his latest discussion in health class. "We talked about parts today?" Me being the student, I was all like, "Parts? What kind of parts?" So he goes on to tell me about the male parts and then the girl parts too.

He proceeds to say that when babies are first made that they are the same. They don't have "parts", I'm paraphrasing, seriously, I'm talking 7th gradish here...He goes on to say that the teacher says, then a doctor looks for the baby part, either the vagina or the penis and if it has a penis it is a boy. He then asks, "Wouldn't you just look for a penis Mom?" Yeah, that's my thought Son. Seriously, did your teacher really say that they look for a vagina? Sigh...public education health class at it's best.

The conversation then advances to, "Boys have two holes and girls have three. I thought that girls pee came out of their butt. So where do you wipe then Mom?" You wipe your vagina. "Ewwwww....that's gross. So what is the pee hole called?"

"Ummm...a pee hole?" Clearly biology and physical anatomy wasn't my forte in school. I asked if he inquired this of the teacher, which he did not.

So I posted for assistance on what others would call a "pee hole" or reference to a 7th grader on Facebook. What do you call a "pee hole"? According to the Sex Dictionary, "The pee hole (urethral opening) of girls can be found between the clitoris and vaginal opening."

But how fun is that??? What would YOU call a "pee hole"?

Bread & Knives

My son, for the life of him, can't seem to grasp the concept of how to use a knife, correctly. I have tried, for almost NINE years to teach him. I've tried to have others assist him. For some reason, he can't figure it out. I used to think that it was his fear of cutting himself, but even with butter knives he struggles! I do my best to not enable him and silently I laugh equally as hard as I wallow in misery while I watch him try to slice and dice anything on his dinner plate with futility.

This morning I had the rare opportunity to watch him make his sandwich. While there are coldcuts which would eliminate his need to spread jelly on bread, he has opted for his favorite PB&J. His hand is awkward. The jelly is smeared. His strokes are uneven and repetitive while the jelly remains little more than moved. It looks as though the knife is upside down. Is that really possible. It makes me reminisce of those that eat with their fork inverted, shoveling into their mouth. Why do these small nuances make the hair on the back of my neck raise? Does it really matter?

I say nothing and I continue to watch. What takes me a matter of moments to make a sandwich takes him minutes at best. What really gets to me the most though, all knife usage aside, is that he has spread the peanut butter on the wrong side of the bread! I can see prior to when he smashes his two pieces together that the bread is like a polar opposite. While they shall stick together, they will repel in only a way that two pieces of bread can.

Fortunately for him, he is proud of his sandwich skills and it all tastes the same!

Growing Up...But Not Too Fast...

In less than two months, my son will be...thirteen. He's growing up so quickly and yet, he still is his mother's son, not to be confused with a "mama's boy".

Today would have been his second afterschool ski trip. Would have been, if we had ski conditions and snow here in Southwest Michigan. The ski slopes were actually going to be open, but the conditions were anything but ski-worthy. Prior to his first ski trip, T was interested and willing for me to go skiing as well, but I had to work late for a work training. T had such a good time, when I offered that I could go for today's trip...he hesitated. Then being brilliant he suggested, "Won't you be all skied out?" Brilliant, he truly is brilliant.

T really did miss me while I was out in Colorado, for the second week long trip in less than a month. To help alleviate his time with his dad and missing me too much, the Ex-BF came to spend the weekend at the house with him. I received many calls of hysteria from T - laughing at the Ex-BF as well as crushing him in almost every video game known to man! I even had to have a few lectures with T about not hurting the Ex-BF's feelings and being nice, which mind you only led to more fits of hysteria and streaming tears (trust me, tears and fits of breaths are amazing through the phone!)! They both did survive the weekend, neither getting hurt and they even managed to conspire to leave me a beautiful "engagement ring" of the worst known flavor (a cotton candy ring pop) on my pillow during my absence.

Today T had a tour of the High School. Due to reconfigurations of the district, he will be attending school on the High School campus this fall. In the next few months, parents will be included in the changes as well. T was pretty excited and a computer generated call to the house yesterday confirmed his field trip today stating that lunch wasn't needed. Knowing that T isn't ready for High School this was confirmed by the fact that this morning he asked if he needed a lunch! Growing up fast, but not too fast!

Last night he bartered with me that the Tooth Fairy hadn't paid him for his last tooth. We bantered back and forth that I had paid him and we recalled how and when. He held firm to the fact that he hadn't received any financial reimbursement, despite my challenges. Isn't he too old to receive money for something he doesn't believe in????

For his Gifted and Talented class, he created a website. A. Web. Site. I can't even figure out how to put in a proper link on a blog. Mind you, he assisted me with that too! He created his own website, without any assistance from me. Of course I think he wasn't very willing to show it to me - although it was mindboggling to me to see the technology and how he navigated! I of course fixated on his spelling and grammar, trying to grasp the fact that afterall he is...ONLY 12! He received a 1st place ribbon for his website and it will then be judged at the Regional Level. I was quite impressed with his achievement! However, he really wasn't. He said several classmates received ribbons and by him receiving a blue ribbon it meant more work for him to make additional changes and such before going to Regionals. It seems like he's beginning to understand that he doesn't want to be too smart. He is glad that G/T is done this year and has no desire to push forth in his academic career beyond those of his peers. He understands that he wants to balance sports and school and play and felt that this year he had too much homework, exacerbated by his advanced class. I can't blame him. For me, 7th grade was the hardest educational year of my life in addition to socially! I just hope that he continues to challenge himself enough to not be bored with school or fall into negative peer pressure.

It is hard to watch T grow. To see all of my co-workers and friends that have very young children and think remember when. But honestly, I'm more than OK with it. Because, I do remember when. I might not remember everything, but I remember the memories and I cherish them. I cherish every moment with him, as he grows taller and his hair grows longer and his mind gets stronger and he becomes wiser. For one day soon, very soon, he will surpass me in so many things and I'm Ok with that, because he is truly amazing and I can say I'm more than proud to be his Mom!

Wii Fit Plus

I purchased the Wii Fit Plus for my son for Christmas. He started to update his Mi prior to his heading to his dad's for the week on Christmas Day. His Wii Age was 20.

At T's request, DK came over Friday night to play the Wii and hang out with us. I wasn't all that excited about the company, having just gotten home from Colorado, not seeing T for a week and having to snow blow out the driveway mid-calf high. But regardless, two hours later, he arrived.

Mind you, I'm 35 and for the most part, I would say that I'm athletic; however, according to my BMI I am "overweight". I understand that muscle weighs more than fat and that most professional athletes would also be "overweight" on the BMI. BUT...digressing...so according to my Wii test results, I am "overweight" AND "29"!!!!!

DK on the other hand, was also "overweight" and while he is 37, his Wii Age was..."55"!!!!

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!

Gambling, Fun or Child Abuse

T loves football. T dreams football. T lives for football. T doesn't play football.

T doesn't like the bruises he accrued when he played full tackle football. T loves the sport of football. If he could, he would eat, sleep and breathe football. He prefers professional football over college, but he watches college as well. He also loves all football video games. The first thing in the morning and the last thing at night is ESPN. He knows players. He knows stats. He studies injury lists. He knows football.

So it's only right that I promote and support my 12.75 year old son to gamble in a football pool. He has participated for the past several years. Maybe I promote and encourage his excitement in the game by having him participate; however, years past when he's been knocked out, his interest throughout the season continues to the same level.

This year, T is still in the pool. I never make him pay the entrance fee to play. He does however know how much he could potentially win if he wins the pool. This year, in the Survivor football pool, there were 52 people. After week #16, T and two others remain. T has studied the odds for this week, he's studied the remaining two people's choices and who he believes that they will pick (as a team cannot be picked twice by a single person in the season). He takes this very seriously. I wonder if it is too seriously.

T told me his dad asked him what he was going to buy him or give him with his winnings. What? He said he told him, "nothing". I said he should give him a "high five". T thought that was funny. His dad is apparently saying that he needs to remember who is buying him Christmas presents! I said, "Yes. Your mom is buying you Christmas presents and it is because of your mom that you are in the pool."

So again, I wonder, am I promoting gambling of my pre-adolescent teen? Is that a form of child abuse? Would it be child abuse if he won and I didn't give him his winnings? Think of what I could do with that money!!! Ok, I'm seriously kidding. He did the research, he took his passion and his love of the sport and is doing well in a strategy and luck pool. If he wins, I can only hope that he will remember who paid his entrance fee! Afterall, he's done very well this season but he's still a world away from winning. Kind of like my Thanksgiving Day square where all I needed was the Lions to score a field goal in the last three minutes of the first quarter and I would win $240. So close and yet...impossible!

T's Dinner

T's favorite meal...is anything that can be made in 15 minutes or less. He does have some favorites, but for the most part, when he's hungry, he wants to eat NOW.

For Thanksgiving, I didn't host or cook. I haven't really been cooking much of anything lately. I seem to be in a funk, again just with the idea of cooking anything more than convenience for T and I seems like a waste. A few weeks ago I made a fabulous turkey vegetable lasagna that could have fed a small army. We had lasagna for dinner, lunch, dinner and even gave some away. Other than that I haven't really bothered to make anything that was even remotely labor intensive. And I still haven't.

T loves ham. Other than on a deli sandwich or with pineapple on a pizza, I prefer to avoid ham. I do much better with ham in things rather than by itself with sides.

My parents are coming for Christmas. I will make Christmas dinner, which personally, I do enjoy cooking. I like making several things in addition to the mess. Multi-tasking for a reason is really something I enjoy. Dinner will be rather easy and seeing that I'll be heading out of town for a week, leftovers aren't much of an option but a waste. My parents are bringing steak, which T refuses to eat. T wants ham.

To pacify T, I told him that I wouldn't cook ham for Christmas Eve dinner, but we could have it tonight so that he could have leftovers. In the spirit, I picked up a 6.75 pound ham, way more than we can fathom, but it was definitely more cost effective. I picked up T and brought him home today during a late lunch and threw the ham into the oven. T's responsibility due to his strong fear of the stove and oven, was to turn it on!

The ham actually smelled good when I walked in the door. Much better than the lingering ham smell on my hands from putting it into the roasting pan and oven before I headed back to work. T made his favorite cheesy mashed potatoes (another ugh for me!) while I cut up veggies for a salad. Within fifteen minutes of walking in the door, we had carved ham, instant cheesy mashed potatoes and a greek salad. Less than an hour later from walking in the door, we ate, dishes are done and we have the night ahead of us.

T is completely happy. He had his favorites in a short amount of time and I have enough ham left over for him to have for Christmas Eve dinner and enough to make ham and cheese breakfast casserole for Christmas morning. Win Win. And the best part, the ham actually was pretty good!

Gift Suspense...

How are you about giving and receiving gifts? Is the suspense too much to handle? Do you appreciate not knowing any secrets, any surprises, any details until it's time?

I've been known to not do well with surprises. I tend to want to know enough information to get me through - say a getaway weekend - or nothing at all - which then leads me to not being receptive or excited enough for the giver. I suppose gift receiving is harder than gift giving. What if your response isn't what the giver expected? I prefer to be the giver - although there are also the disappointments of not meeting the expectations of the receiver.

So I am truly torturing my son. I told him the other day that we would have to be home on Saturday for his first Christmas present between 12-5. It has been a barrage of questions since then - some which I've done my best to throw him off without actually lying about the answer. Because clearly, how many questions can one ask without narrowing down the answer?

Is it an event? No
Is it a person? No
Is it specific to Saturday only? No
Is it big? Yes?
Is it small? No
Is it long? No
Is it heavy? Yes
Is it light? No
Is it skiing related? No
Is it technology related? Ummm...maybe. No. Ummm...
Can you talk to it? Yes
Can it talk to you? Yes?
Do you jump on this? You can (in a figurative sense - but he doesn't know that!)
Is it meant for jumping on? NO
Can you throw it? You can (but please don't - I won't be happy!)
Is it meant for throwing? NO
Is it sports related? It can be.
Did you get this at the store? No
Did you make this? No
Would this go in my room? No
Would this go in the garage? No
Is it clothes related? No
Can I use it in the winter? Yes
Can I use it in the summer? Maybe
Can I use it in the spring? Yes
So I can use it year round? Yes
Would I have fun with this present? Yes?
Is this present a one and only time thing? No
Does this present move on it's own? No
Is it art and craft related? No

The questions have continued. The funny thing, in between him taking a break from asking questions, a commercial for Dish HD receiver, HD 140 channels and three months of free Showtime and HBO came on the t.v. Not once did he make a single comment about how cool that would be to actually have for our 1080p t.v. that is not HD.

He has officially proclaimed that he is...STUMPED. Regardless that I told him there was a HUGE hint provided sometime during his questioning. Which then threw him into a tizzy and a spew of more repetitive questions and a barrage of new ones.

Personally, I am loving this! I find this most entertaining!

Maybe he will truly be surprised when the service tech. comes to the door to spend the afternoon installing our HD and DVR. But for now, I'm enjoying his struggling to guess.

Date Night Results

Tonight I picked up our artistry from our date night last week. Seeing that I'm clearly a 3rd grade art failure and a complete A personality, painting and artistry isn't really my thing. I do enjoy it, and some may even call it Zen. I clearly wouldn't go that far!

I did enjoy the time that T and I had together. Picking up our crafts tonight, I actually thought that they both turned out rather well. Not ready to give up my day job, whatever that is, but I think T will like it!

Hopefully Grandma won't find time to check out the blog before Christmas! T was a little disappointed in how his turned out, noting every spot of missed colored paint, a true perfectionist, no doubt! I of course think it's great!

Date Night

Last night was "date night". I picked up T after practice and gave him several options of where we would go to dinner. His first choice was Subway, which was not one of the given options. Although truth be known, we both would have been completely happy and satisfied! He did pick one of the nicer restaurants in town, which was en route to our next destination.

I haven't been to the restaurant in years. I used to go frequently, as I had a never ending gift card. Finally the last time I went, we had an all out hurrah and managed to spend close to $80 for two adults and think that only included one drink! The restaurant is divided into two sections, a fancy linen table cloth side with candles and then the casual side - table only. Although both provide the exact same menu. The hostess did ask where I preferred to sit, and as more of a social experiment, I let her choose.

Not surprisingly, we were seated on the casual side. We were the only table on that side for our waitress and we were often neglected as she was busy with the other side. We had a good meal and the company was fabulous.

Next we headed to our annual pre-Christmas date location where T makes a Christmas gift for Grandma. We enjoyed each other's company, mostly in silence, as we both worked diligently on our pieces of art. Mine was for T and I asked him several questions about it, but then did what I wanted. He would comment several times, "That looks cool Mom! But don't worry, I didn't look!"

T and I have lots of time that we spend together, since of course it is just he and I. But sometimes, caught up in the daily routines, we forget to cherish each other. To take time and do things out of the ordinary. To go above and beyond, sometimes in elegance and sometimes in the most simplistic measures. All treasures of a lifetime.

Missed Opportunity

It's the middle of basketball season. My son is on the "B" team, although it was never truly identified how the teams were created. Both the "A" and the "B" team have similar records, significantly more losses than wins, albeit bitter than the Detroit Lions record no doubt!

This week my son had three games, two which were away. I missed his first game of the season last night, having other commitments and not wanting to make the one hour trek each way for a four period game of six minutes each. My son scored the winning point, in a real nail-biting game where he found himself on the free throw line with the score tied. He made one shot and that secured the win since neither team scored in the final remaining minutes of the game! He scored several points in the game, with one foul, several steals and a few rebounds. T is an all around good sport and regardless of their frequent losses, he can marvel when he has a good game and be disappointed when he didn't play so well. To make matters worse in my absence, tonight one of the parents addressed me after the game to confirm how "awesome" T was the day before. Figures, I always seem to miss out!

Tonight they lost to a team they had beat just weeks before. Call it revenge. There were a couple poor officiating moments, but clearly to be expected of seventh grade ball. T managed to score five points and several rebounds. But in addition to his points, he suffered three jammed fingers and a banged up knee to an already bruised knee from two days prior. Welcome to sports! At least he has until next week to go at it again!

Weight Loss & Pants

I can't say that I have constantly struggled with weight loss, but clearly I would like to lose some additional weight - who wouldn't, right? Many years ago I made a personal goal that if I met my weight loss goal I would treat myself to a vacation to Aruba. I was never motivated enough to do so.

Whether I try or not, I can't seem to get but five pounds from my goal weight. Maybe I'm my own personal road block, that I can't part with the time or money to actually go to Aruba. Maybe I should change my reward! I'm again within five pounds, having gotten on the scale this morning and losing a few more pounds since before Thanksgiving. I still attribute a lot of the weight fluctuation with my inability to work out from the procedure two weeks ago. I'm sure it will all change, soon.

Just over a month ago, my mom and I went shopping. I purchased a lot of clothes that finally fit me. This morning, I grabbed a pair of dress pants from my closet and attempted to put them on. They seemed very tight and very short. I looked at whether or not I had the zipper all the way down as I grabbed leverage to pull them up to my waist. The thought of zipping the zipper was a completely different story!

I looked down and I could see my ankles. In a moment of shock and horror I wondered what in the world had happened. It's been years since I've had a dryer issue where I've shrunk my clothes. I really didn't think the scale had lied just minutes earlier! What in the world?

I pulled the pants off and looked at the tag. I was still in disbelief. I had no idea what pants I had tried on, but they weren't my new ones!

In looking at the tag, a light bulb finally went off! I had attempted to wear my twelve year old son's dress pants! Sigh, life really is good!

Happy Tuesday!

Hunting Season

As most are more than well aware, November 15 is opening day of gun season. T's dad hunts, or attempts to hunt or finds solace with nature or away from civilization. Actually I don't know what he does, other than he leaves town and doesn't visit with T.

November is always a crazy and chaotic month for me. I know that I have chosen to be a single parent. Although, it wasn't really only my choice, it was a choice I made for all of us. For the well being of all of us. And honestly, it's been a fabulous one! I also chose to not live near my family and not have babysitters. My choice.

Nevertheless, the change in schedule to having my son 22 out of 30 days for the month of November is always a testing of my patience and my parenting. After twelve years, I've come to need the welcomed breaks of joint custody. While it wasn't anything I would have desired for my son, I do know that it's worked out best for him to have parents that are not together. Additionally, our time apart makes us healthier when we are together. I couldn't imagine it any other way. And before I know it, it will be December!

Parent-Teacher Conferences

It is again, that time of year. Parent. Teacher. Conferences.

My son, for those that aren't aware, is an excellent student. He is in advanced math. He has participated in the Gifted and Talented program for years. He is self sufficient, self reliant, independent and self motivated for starters.

Last night was his Parent-Teacher Conferences. Another fabulous opportunity to be in the same place at the same time with his dad. An hour of feeling the Great Divide, which was ever so apparent when sitting at the same table, not acknowledging each other with T sitting in between us giving sideways glances and smiles to me in our non-verbal ways.

I have been completely unaware of the work that T has been doing in his G/T class. Well actually in all of his classes. I see what he brings home. I review what he shares. I have no communication with his teachers. Neither he nor I require it. He is an amazing kid and has done great projects without any assistance. He uses Power Point. He uses the web and makes web blogs. He has been more technologically advanced than myself for years now. And, I'm completely OK with that. Completely.

His dad and I waited to speak with several teachers. We reviewed his report card of all A's and wondered who we should speak to. Speak to all of them? Speak to none of them? His dad and I confirmed that we really didn't need to be there. But parental obligations, we were. In my mind, I just wanted to skip it all and get to dinner with RUR, but even I managed to smile and be pleasant with teachers that said only four words. What does a teacher say when a parent has no questions, there are no problems and this student is getting 99.53%?

Funny thing though, T's worst class....Gym. We laughed when he told us he was getting a 97%, having missed two questions on the soccer test, when he played soccer this fall! So when we met with the teacher we said that we were surprised to hear that gym was his worst class. The teacher, scrambling through his papers was shocked. He couldn't believe that T wasn't getting an A. Oh he IS, it's just his lowest A yet, with the next lowest being 99.09%.

Too funny! Gym of all classes!

Bully & My Son

It's been a while since I blogged. I think like most fellow bloggers that I follow, whether it's the weather or personal issues, everyone seems to be in a fog. I question if anything is really worth blogging about. Who really cares anyway? Do I even care?

LL and I were talking the other day and she was tired of my lava cake post. I want to post something of meaning, I really do. But I feel like I'm just going through the motions. So I shall move on...

The other night as I tucked my son into bed, I noticed a bruise on his right shoulder. I hadn't noticed it before. Was I negligent? Have I been to busy to notice the small things? Have I been to wrapped up in...in what? to notice another bruise on my son? Granted it's middle of soccer season and he's a twelve year old active boy. What's another bruise in the scheme of things?

I inquired as to his bruise. Immediately his eyes misted. I pleaded with him to not cry as I felt that similar wetness seeping into my eyes. Please don't cry. Please don't let it be bad. Please don't make me be a bad mother. A mother who overlooked or missed something that was very important. Please. I tried to look away so that he would think that I was strong. Strong for him. He assured me he wasn't crying, but he and I know otherwise.

We are alike. We are one in the same. We try to be tough. We try to be strong. But, we are human. We have feelings and we have a heart of gold. And we can be hurt. We are hurt.

The bruise...a week old. A classmate, a bully had punched him in the arm. I asked if it was in fun. He questioned me as to whether or not he would have bruised if it was a punch out of fun. As a matter of fact, in the fleeting moment I recalled my Jr. High days when I pinched and punched and left bruises on boys. It wasn't out of affection, it was out of reciprocation - they taunted me, I reacted. Maybe they liked me, maybe they didn't. But his punch was from a former "friend" from years ago.

My heart ached for my son. How do I stop the pain? How do I protect him without being an overbearing mother? Do I confront this boy's mother, a woman whom I really don't like, almost loathe? Do I approach the school personnel?

My son said that he avoids him at all times now. He hasn't had any contact with him in the past week since it happened. He assured me that he didn't cry when it happened - and I cried even more for him, a pit in the bottom of my stomach. A pit that holds all the aches and pains of peer pressure and growing up and parenting. I can't fix everything for him. But I will always hold his pain, deep within me, and hope that he becomes a better and stronger person than bullies who are weak.

As I tucked my son in that night, I squeezed him harder, kissed him more and told him how much I love him. If only I could do more...