I can't even believe that my last post was 9/11/12. That seems like forever ago...so much has happened since then...and yet things are still the same. While I decided to blog about my health, I'll do a quick update:
* My step-dad is doing well. The liver transplant was a success although he suffered complications that have impacted his vision and memory. The change has been a major adjustment to his and my mother's way of life; but, they are adjusting. He is alive and we are all blessed for the small miracles.
* We spent Thanksgiving with my brother's wife's family. It was great to see my brother and his family. This was the first real outing since my step-dad's surgery and both he and my mom looked well. Despite our short visit with family, I was so blessed to be with family on the holiday.
* After Christmas T and I drove a second vehicle down to Florida with mom and step-dad. The drive down was long and challenging and included a run-away u-haul trailer that crossed the median a car in front of us on I75! I was just glad that T didn't want to log anymore permit practice hours.
* T and I spent a week with my parents in Florida lounging around and being blessed to have family and our youth ;) I read four books during the week! T and I went to Epcot where I became the worst mom ever - navigating crowds and leaving him behind!
* Many changes at work which have lead to significant transition. I even applied for a supervisor position that I still believe I maintain I don't ever want. But it is the year of 13 and maybe a year of change. So who knows.
* As a parent I am struggling with T turning 16 in a few months and whether or not he should get his license. The thought of purchasing a new car for myself with a car payment and insurance for him makes me want to hurl. Since he is only a sophomore and unemployed, I am leaning toward keeping him permitted to avoid having to pay for insurance for the time being.
* MS and I are still dating. As I was in Florida for the New Year, I hoped it would be better to start the year off apart and not repeat our previous New Year. Unfortunately, this year I had some serious deep thoughts and it didn't lead to good times on the relationship front. Whether it was commitment related, reality related or just stagnation; nevertheless, all is continuing, status quo.
* I went and saw Flashdance on Broadway! AG gave me two free tickets! I was super excited to be back in the theater and loved every minute of the show!
* It has been two years since MS and I planned a Spring Break together. We didn't end up going last time. I wonder if this time will have better results. I can guarantee they will be different. We shall see. Again planning on a last minute vacation opportunity with MS and I and two 16 year old boys on a road trip across America. What fun, right? Ummm....I'll get back to you on that one.
So I think that basically sums up the past few months. I can't believe it is officially February 1, 2013. How time seems to fly.
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Friday, February 1, 2013
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Finally My Aruban Vacation
Last year when MS and I went to Mexico, we each received a $400 airfare voucher to use on another flight. We had to book something by early August. With the craziness of MS' move and summer, time was dwindling fast for booking something. Needless to say, I tend to be more of a last minute vacationer anyway! MS had two weeks off of work, but only one of the weeks was T going to be with his dad. T was also finally completing his driver's training, so I wasn't able to leave any sooner.
Many years ago, I set a personal weight loss goal. If I reached my goal, my reward was to go to Aruba. I never did reach that goal. I came within five pounds and I can honestly say I am over 30 pounds from it now. But the desire to travel to Aruba has always remained. It helps that I have access to a timeshare there as well! I had some timeshare availability and surprisingly Aruba had condos available; however, by the time MS agreed and I picked up his passport and airline voucher to book, the condo was gone! I was devastated. I figured it must have been meant to be, some bigger reason which made the vacation impossible.
I searched other vacations, even considering a cruise again! The next day, another condo was available and I booked it! With our airfare vouchers we only paid $200 each for the flight. I had been anticipating that our vacation would be a deal breaker in the relationship. Either we would stay together or we wouldn't. Of course there was my guilt and I finally resolved to let the relationship stress go and enjoy the moments. No pressure.
While our vacation was definitely less expensive than an all-inclusive, MS and I do better when there are less choices and decisions to make. I feel like we often do not make choices as we can't decide. MS did book an ABC Jeep Tour all day excursion around Aruba which we enjoyed. We didn't bother to rent a car and used the bus to get both up and downtown. Neither of us found anything worth purchasing - other than some alcohol to make drinks in the condo!
On our final day, we went parasailing. One of the things on my imaginary bucket list! Due to our combined weight, we were unable to fly tandem. I went first. I went last. While I didn't know better, I guess it is uncommon to have the parasail suddenly jerk to and fro. I tried to take deep breaths and will any potential motion sickness away. I enjoyed the sailing and overlooking the various depths of the water below. Unfortunately, my ride was cut very short due to the weather. MS told me that they were unable to manage the boat safely with the rough waters and the wind. We received a full refund and I can cross it off my list!
As for MS and I, I didn't have any fears that there would be a proposal this vacation. Our relationship just seems to have simmered. Obviously he could have completely blindsided me and I can admit I wondered how I would respond and how it would have affected the rest of the vacation. MS did in his casual, flat affect way say to me a few days in, "Just because I wanted to say thank you for all of your help with my move and the house, here's a little something." He handed me a large jewelry box. He had purchased a beautiful necklace for me.
I have to say that overall, I wasn't impressed with Aruba. Having been to Grenada, Trinidad, Mexico, Hawaii and the Bahamas, I wouldn't return back to Aruba. There was nothing that I found memorable or worthy of a second vacation. So another destination crossed off my list...where to next? Mount Rushmore!!!!
Many years ago, I set a personal weight loss goal. If I reached my goal, my reward was to go to Aruba. I never did reach that goal. I came within five pounds and I can honestly say I am over 30 pounds from it now. But the desire to travel to Aruba has always remained. It helps that I have access to a timeshare there as well! I had some timeshare availability and surprisingly Aruba had condos available; however, by the time MS agreed and I picked up his passport and airline voucher to book, the condo was gone! I was devastated. I figured it must have been meant to be, some bigger reason which made the vacation impossible.
I searched other vacations, even considering a cruise again! The next day, another condo was available and I booked it! With our airfare vouchers we only paid $200 each for the flight. I had been anticipating that our vacation would be a deal breaker in the relationship. Either we would stay together or we wouldn't. Of course there was my guilt and I finally resolved to let the relationship stress go and enjoy the moments. No pressure.
While our vacation was definitely less expensive than an all-inclusive, MS and I do better when there are less choices and decisions to make. I feel like we often do not make choices as we can't decide. MS did book an ABC Jeep Tour all day excursion around Aruba which we enjoyed. We didn't bother to rent a car and used the bus to get both up and downtown. Neither of us found anything worth purchasing - other than some alcohol to make drinks in the condo!
On our final day, we went parasailing. One of the things on my imaginary bucket list! Due to our combined weight, we were unable to fly tandem. I went first. I went last. While I didn't know better, I guess it is uncommon to have the parasail suddenly jerk to and fro. I tried to take deep breaths and will any potential motion sickness away. I enjoyed the sailing and overlooking the various depths of the water below. Unfortunately, my ride was cut very short due to the weather. MS told me that they were unable to manage the boat safely with the rough waters and the wind. We received a full refund and I can cross it off my list!
As for MS and I, I didn't have any fears that there would be a proposal this vacation. Our relationship just seems to have simmered. Obviously he could have completely blindsided me and I can admit I wondered how I would respond and how it would have affected the rest of the vacation. MS did in his casual, flat affect way say to me a few days in, "Just because I wanted to say thank you for all of your help with my move and the house, here's a little something." He handed me a large jewelry box. He had purchased a beautiful necklace for me.
I have to say that overall, I wasn't impressed with Aruba. Having been to Grenada, Trinidad, Mexico, Hawaii and the Bahamas, I wouldn't return back to Aruba. There was nothing that I found memorable or worthy of a second vacation. So another destination crossed off my list...where to next? Mount Rushmore!!!!
Dating Drivel
MS and I are still dating. When I last blogged, I was struggling with the feelings of the possibility of MS moving closer. I have to admit, that those feelings still exist, although they have transformed slightly. MS did list his house and sold it within a month. As he was pressed with a move out date, he quickly began searching for houses in the town I live in. He made an offer on a house, which was countered. During the countering process, he found another house which he liked better that he made an offer, which after some countering the deal was done.
MS and his son moved into their new house in mid-June. The house is literally 0.4 miles from my front door to his front door. I wasn't sure how I felt about him moving closer. For the most part, the most prevalent feelings were the possible ones of guilt. The premonition of feelings I would have if the relationship didn't work and this man and his teenage son found themselves residing in a town where they didn't want to live. MS and I had talked about this several times. He assured me that his moving wasn't just to be closer to me. While obviously that was a bonus, he wanted to move to be free of an over sized house and payment as well as give his son a fresh start.
There is definitely something to be said about long distance and local distance relationships. I can't say that I have ever really had a successful local relationship, although the inherit desire for convenience has been prevalent. With the distance relationship, I made plans to spend child free weekends and nights with him. We spent long periods of time together, sometimes it felt as if it were too much, but the hour commute home wasn't worth it. MS and I seldom disagree. Granted, there were times I would get frustrated, but with the distance, I never just got in the car to come home and not work something out. Now, I feel like the convenience and the "out" is ever available. With the local distance, MS will text and ask to stop by on his way home from work. I feel lost as to what we should do. Sometimes it is just awkward. Do I feed him? Do I entertain? Do we have to do something? Is he a guest? We no longer have that "plan" of our time together. With the local distance we also do not spend the night together. I think we have spent the night twice in two months, with the exception of our vacation.
I feel as if our relationship has turned into a friendship. We stop by and say HI. We may grab or make dinner together and then we part. The four of us will do things together, like bowling or golfing. Yes, I said golfing.
I am just not sure where we go from here. My good friend D said to me, "Where do you want it to go? Is there someone else? Do you think he's cheating on you? You know you don't want to get married." I am not interested in anyone else and I don't have any concerns that he is either. Do I ever think I want to or will get married? At this point, the answer is NO. So does that mean we stay stagnant?
Somehow, I think that local distance relationships are more work. You can no longer assume a relationship or plans. The bottomline is communication is imperative. If your relationship is important to you, make it a priority. And with that, tonight MS spent time together. More than just sitting on the couch or holding hands. More than just talking about our day. More than being just friends.
MS and his son moved into their new house in mid-June. The house is literally 0.4 miles from my front door to his front door. I wasn't sure how I felt about him moving closer. For the most part, the most prevalent feelings were the possible ones of guilt. The premonition of feelings I would have if the relationship didn't work and this man and his teenage son found themselves residing in a town where they didn't want to live. MS and I had talked about this several times. He assured me that his moving wasn't just to be closer to me. While obviously that was a bonus, he wanted to move to be free of an over sized house and payment as well as give his son a fresh start.
There is definitely something to be said about long distance and local distance relationships. I can't say that I have ever really had a successful local relationship, although the inherit desire for convenience has been prevalent. With the distance relationship, I made plans to spend child free weekends and nights with him. We spent long periods of time together, sometimes it felt as if it were too much, but the hour commute home wasn't worth it. MS and I seldom disagree. Granted, there were times I would get frustrated, but with the distance, I never just got in the car to come home and not work something out. Now, I feel like the convenience and the "out" is ever available. With the local distance, MS will text and ask to stop by on his way home from work. I feel lost as to what we should do. Sometimes it is just awkward. Do I feed him? Do I entertain? Do we have to do something? Is he a guest? We no longer have that "plan" of our time together. With the local distance we also do not spend the night together. I think we have spent the night twice in two months, with the exception of our vacation.
I feel as if our relationship has turned into a friendship. We stop by and say HI. We may grab or make dinner together and then we part. The four of us will do things together, like bowling or golfing. Yes, I said golfing.
I am just not sure where we go from here. My good friend D said to me, "Where do you want it to go? Is there someone else? Do you think he's cheating on you? You know you don't want to get married." I am not interested in anyone else and I don't have any concerns that he is either. Do I ever think I want to or will get married? At this point, the answer is NO. So does that mean we stay stagnant?
Somehow, I think that local distance relationships are more work. You can no longer assume a relationship or plans. The bottomline is communication is imperative. If your relationship is important to you, make it a priority. And with that, tonight MS spent time together. More than just sitting on the couch or holding hands. More than just talking about our day. More than being just friends.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Auto-Correct Text
MS has an iphone and regularly uses the auto-text option. Needless to say, I often find some of his texts more than amusing. Tonight was no exception:
MS: "WTF...dude just walked up to the counter with a banana over his face. If I hadn't sort of recognized him from the other day I would have totally hit our panic button. Looked like he was about to frickin rob us!"
At this point, I was laughing hysterically (I still am!). Trying to imagine someone being scary with a banana on their face. Was it just a peel? Was it being held as a moustache or covering ones eyes?
I had never heard him mention a panic button before. Clearly how could he be almost to the point of pushing a panic button over a banana?
ME: "Nice...pharmacy robbed by an armed banana man..."
MS: "Lol, omg...that was supposed to be bandanna. Nice"
Oh how the auto-correct option entertains me!
MS: "WTF...dude just walked up to the counter with a banana over his face. If I hadn't sort of recognized him from the other day I would have totally hit our panic button. Looked like he was about to frickin rob us!"
At this point, I was laughing hysterically (I still am!). Trying to imagine someone being scary with a banana on their face. Was it just a peel? Was it being held as a moustache or covering ones eyes?
I had never heard him mention a panic button before. Clearly how could he be almost to the point of pushing a panic button over a banana?
ME: "Nice...pharmacy robbed by an armed banana man..."
MS: "Lol, omg...that was supposed to be bandanna. Nice"
Oh how the auto-correct option entertains me!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Relationship Ramblings...
As I mentioned before, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. MS and I continue to date, almost sixteen months. As MS likes to remind me, no one and no relationship is perfect.
I understand this, but I also feel that some things are non-negotiable. And yet, then I come to realize that maybe I am wrong. Maybe standards, expectations and personal beliefs may be malleable. MS and I have had two major hurdles in our relationship (with the exception of our difference in parenting styles). These hurdles, while they have been crossed, I don't feel like they have been conquered. At the core, I struggle with trust issues. MS has suggested we go to counseling. I am not sure I am ready to go there, but deep down, I know that if I am going to make a commitment, we need help. I can't continue in a relationship with one foot out the door.
MS has told me repeatedly that he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. Granted, he has been most verbal about this during our most difficult and trying times. As of late, he has decided he wants to sell his large house and move closer to me. There hasn't been any discussion of living together. Maybe he really does know me. He has researched the housing market in my area. MS loves the idea of a smaller, more affordable home that would be closer to me and allow us to see each other daily if possible. He even likes several houses on my street that are currently for sale.
While I have explored housing options with him, even so far as contacting a realtor friend to talk to him about sale options on his house. I plan to support him in anyway possible; however, maybe I don't think he will ever move. I did ask him if he would still want to live in my town if we didn't work out. He said he loves my town and would. Somehow I find this hard to believe, but I have to trust him to be honest. MS has yet to talk to his son about the possibility of moving. Wednesday the realtor will talk to him about his options, as MS feels that he will owe at least $40,000 after selling his house due to the downturn of the market when he built his house four years ago.
MS sent me a large fortune cookie for Valentine's Day (it is approximately 1200 calories and 9 servings). He said he hopes to see me Wednesday night to give me the rest of my Valentine's gift. Again, I'm not worried about a proposal. If that was his intention why would he talk and research purchasing a house for him and his son?
I'm just not sure where our relationship is heading. I really think that we both would benefit from a third party addressing both of our concerns and issues. And mom, I really don't think he is the controlling, stalker-type. And yes, I know I said that about my ex-husband too, but...I do believe that MS is different.
I understand this, but I also feel that some things are non-negotiable. And yet, then I come to realize that maybe I am wrong. Maybe standards, expectations and personal beliefs may be malleable. MS and I have had two major hurdles in our relationship (with the exception of our difference in parenting styles). These hurdles, while they have been crossed, I don't feel like they have been conquered. At the core, I struggle with trust issues. MS has suggested we go to counseling. I am not sure I am ready to go there, but deep down, I know that if I am going to make a commitment, we need help. I can't continue in a relationship with one foot out the door.
MS has told me repeatedly that he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. Granted, he has been most verbal about this during our most difficult and trying times. As of late, he has decided he wants to sell his large house and move closer to me. There hasn't been any discussion of living together. Maybe he really does know me. He has researched the housing market in my area. MS loves the idea of a smaller, more affordable home that would be closer to me and allow us to see each other daily if possible. He even likes several houses on my street that are currently for sale.
While I have explored housing options with him, even so far as contacting a realtor friend to talk to him about sale options on his house. I plan to support him in anyway possible; however, maybe I don't think he will ever move. I did ask him if he would still want to live in my town if we didn't work out. He said he loves my town and would. Somehow I find this hard to believe, but I have to trust him to be honest. MS has yet to talk to his son about the possibility of moving. Wednesday the realtor will talk to him about his options, as MS feels that he will owe at least $40,000 after selling his house due to the downturn of the market when he built his house four years ago.
MS sent me a large fortune cookie for Valentine's Day (it is approximately 1200 calories and 9 servings). He said he hopes to see me Wednesday night to give me the rest of my Valentine's gift. Again, I'm not worried about a proposal. If that was his intention why would he talk and research purchasing a house for him and his son?
I'm just not sure where our relationship is heading. I really think that we both would benefit from a third party addressing both of our concerns and issues. And mom, I really don't think he is the controlling, stalker-type. And yes, I know I said that about my ex-husband too, but...I do believe that MS is different.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Mexico & "The Ring"
As I blogged here about whether or not MS would propose and being convinced that he wouldn't, I did find it somewhat awkward the night before we left that when checking-in online to our flight he inadvertently typed his last name as mine. I brushed it off. Unfortunately, we weren't able to get seats together on our flight from Detroit to Cancun. We booked them anyway and I figured we would talk to the gate agent in the morning before our three hour delay to see if we could switch seats.
We got up at 4:00a.m. and made it to the airport and arrived in Detroit without issue. We walked the terminal to our gate to inquire about changing seats. Surprisingly a second agent (the first told us to come back an hour before our flight) asked us where we were flying to and offered that if we wanted to fly through Atlanta she would put us in first class and we would only arrive 48 minutes later. After convincing MS it was a good idea and he would still be able to get breakfast before boarding our flight to Atlanta we made the change and each received a $400 flight credit to use in the future! BONUS! See, another contribution I made to the trip! ;)
We arrived in Cancun and did exactly what we were advised not to...we talked with the timeshare people and booked a tour. For our $40 good faith deposit we were ensured of a 90 minute presentation at a nearby resort, two bottles of tequila, two tickets for a 6 hour party boat of deep sea fishing and discounts of 2-1 passes for attractions (particularly para sailing). We figured well worth 90 minutes. Of course when we went to have our hotel concierge staff to call our free taxi, they refused and sent a manager to discuss with us the intricate details of our "tour" proclaiming we would be forced to stay for 4-6 hours. He offered that if we toured our resort for 2 hours he would compensate us with two bottles of tequila, $40 deposit refund and $100 to put toward the fishing expedition. After three separate negotiations (him going to speak to a supervisor - or himself) he finally agreed to the tequila, the deposit, free internet/telephone calls for the remainder of our stay, and $250 credit (the cost of the deep sea fishing). Since we had missed the last arrival time for the booked tour, we took the offer of our resort. Fortunately, our sales person was hung over from the previous night's company party and was starving. He asked if we were interested in purchasing, we said "no" and he asked if we minded joining him for breakfast. We did ask to tour the upscale casitas and our sales pitch was over in less than 54 minutes! What a blessing! BONUS!
MS has a thing for turtles. So he purchased a couple memento turtles while we were in Playa del Carmen. In addition, he was excited to participate in a paint-a-pot activity that was near the pool at the resort every day. The day I learned my father had passed (with our free internet access pass), we had plans to paint. It was actually a very good diversion that I didn't have to hold it together too much and was able to focus on painting and not have to be "happy". I wasn't really sure what I wanted to paint, but opted for a plate. With the help of the guy that sells the plates - he puts back in the clear black lines and added some birds and the small bushes in the desert, the plate looked pretty awesome when it was done!
Anyone who knows me, should know that I have a slight issue with motion. Dramamine is my friend. I knew that I would need dramamine before our deep sea fishing adventure. MS however, he loves to fish and boat. Our boat for the fishing expedition had two crew, MS and I and a group of three men. The fumes from the exhaust were pretty awful and fortunately I was doing well dealing with the uneasiness of the boat along with the smell. I even managed to do OK after MS asked for dramamine, reeled in a "bait fish" and managed to hurl over the side before he ever got the dramamine open. He went into the cabin where he laid his head down on the table and remained the rest of the "three hour tour" (oh wait, that was Gilligan's island - but pretty much the same!). I knew that I had no interest in standing to real in a fish, so I just sat on the back of the boat and watched. When the youngest of the men, a son in his late teens/early twenties who also rejected reeling in a fish, leaned over board and lost his marbles, that was too much for me. I, on the other side of the boat, got sick too. Not only did I get sick once, I managed to get sick a second time simultaneously with the father of the young man. Yes, four of the five of us on the boat, were sick. Unfortunately it didn't help the crew and the one healthy passenger - a retired navy person of 27 years - to catch more fish! We headed in a little early as the fish were few and we weren't feeling well. Fortunately MS and I didn't pay $250 for the adventure, so we weren't so bothered by our ill fortune.
On several vacations, I have purchased rings. Granted the last few have been less than $8 each, but a ring that I fancy no less. I had full intention of purchasing a "real" ring of sorts this trip. MS had offered to buy me a ring. I wasn't sure exactly what the offer entailed - cost or intention - so rather than inquire, I pretty much ignored the offer. While we looked around Playa del Carmen, I was looking at rings that were rather expensive. I was considering another ring similar to the ring I purchased in Colorado (which after 18 months a stone fell out during dinner on this vacation. So lucky!), but decided I wanted different "bling". I negotiated a fantastic deal and I bought a beautiful ring. After our trip MS had said he did want to buy me a ring - but seeing that I negotiated a deal for cash, he didn't have that kind of cash on him. MS wasn't a fan of the ring I picked thinking that it is WAY too big, but I LOVE it and that is all that matters (although he has been gazing at it and inspecting it on several occasions!)!
MS and I went on a kayaking tour the morning after Playa. We had originally planned on taking the shuttle to Cancun for the day, but opted not to as we had our boating adventure and Playa del Carmen the night before. Since we had purchased souvenirs - MS his turtles and me my ring - we didn't see a reason to check out Cancun. So we had fun participating in activities at the resort. We started off with the kayaking and I managed well without dramamine; however, MS didn't fare as well. My competitive edge found me near the instructor while MS was way behind the last kayaker. When we reached an area to look for fish, I asked MS if he was OK, which he replied NO. He reported that his hips were cramping and he wasn't able to sit in the kayak comfortably. Fortunately the tour was only an hour and he managed to survive!
The vacation was a great escape. I was saddened to learn of my father's passing, but glad to have MS there to comfort me and a good distraction of Mexico. We enjoyed fabulous dining experiences at the restaurants at the resort. My favorite was de Italia. While the resort, El Dorado Royale is voted one of the number one honeymoon resorts in the world, I think I enjoyed Iberostar more as we weren't on a honeymoon. I never received the same drink twice, despite ordering the same. The nightly entertainment was also definitely lacking, but MS and I had a great time and a wonderful vacation. I am definitely looking forward to more vacations and memories with MS.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Trusting the Truth
About a month ago, I started to worry that MS may consider proposing on our vacation. I am not sure what was said or done specifically that had me concerned, just the overall differences of our vacation preferences. I am happy to say, that while those thoughts are somewhere compartmentalized in a drawer in my mind, I did come to my senses and believe that it won't happen (I think I know MS pretty well he couldn't pull off a surprise!). For this, I am glad. I am very much looking forward to vacation with MS and spending a week together, just the two of us with no worries or cares.
Thursday as I arrived at MS' house, waiting on the three to return from fishing, I was calm. Happy. Content. D and I were chatting on the phone and she asked if it was weird to have a key to his house. Technically, I don't have a key, but he gave me the garage door opener back in the winter and he doesn't lock the door in the garage that leads to the house. I have never given him a key to my house. We have never talked about it. It isn't that I don't trust him or don't want him to have one, it's just never been an issue. And I realized that I have never given MS back the garage door opener. I have never tried to end the relationship. I have never been so frustrated that I needed to run and not look back.
I've thought many times before of the differences of dating MS. I trust him. I completely trust him. Sometimes I wonder if I should. I have no reason not to but I wonder if ultimately if I will be blindsided by something. The fear. The fear of realizing and accepting that our relationship isn't too good to be true. That what we have is real. That while we have our differences in parenting, we work. And, that the reason I trust him isn't because I don't see or want a future with him. I trust him because he is trustworthy.
With each passing day, I find myself growing more and more fond of MS. I miss him when we aren't together. I know that both he and I would be fine if we stopped dating, but I don't want to. I'm not giddy to see him, but genuinely happy when I do. I try not to take him for granted and I feel he does the same.
I don't know if it is maturity, acceptance, understanding or any other multitude of options that has allowed this relationship to work. I don't need to know why, just that it does. I know that what MS and I have, I am thankful. With every day, I fall a little more for this man I love. And this love, has no time frames, limits or boundaries.
Thursday as I arrived at MS' house, waiting on the three to return from fishing, I was calm. Happy. Content. D and I were chatting on the phone and she asked if it was weird to have a key to his house. Technically, I don't have a key, but he gave me the garage door opener back in the winter and he doesn't lock the door in the garage that leads to the house. I have never given him a key to my house. We have never talked about it. It isn't that I don't trust him or don't want him to have one, it's just never been an issue. And I realized that I have never given MS back the garage door opener. I have never tried to end the relationship. I have never been so frustrated that I needed to run and not look back.
I've thought many times before of the differences of dating MS. I trust him. I completely trust him. Sometimes I wonder if I should. I have no reason not to but I wonder if ultimately if I will be blindsided by something. The fear. The fear of realizing and accepting that our relationship isn't too good to be true. That what we have is real. That while we have our differences in parenting, we work. And, that the reason I trust him isn't because I don't see or want a future with him. I trust him because he is trustworthy.
With each passing day, I find myself growing more and more fond of MS. I miss him when we aren't together. I know that both he and I would be fine if we stopped dating, but I don't want to. I'm not giddy to see him, but genuinely happy when I do. I try not to take him for granted and I feel he does the same.
I don't know if it is maturity, acceptance, understanding or any other multitude of options that has allowed this relationship to work. I don't need to know why, just that it does. I know that what MS and I have, I am thankful. With every day, I fall a little more for this man I love. And this love, has no time frames, limits or boundaries.
Fishing
Thursday night, MS came down for T's first game of his final tournament. After the brutal loss, we debated on where to eat. Of course I had told MS that T would probably chose Red Robin, which in fact he did. The dining experience was, as I told the manager, an epic fail. The waiter was clearly out of his comfort zone and should find another job. The food was ill prepared and the waiter repeatedly lied trying to cover up his own errors which infuriated me even more. The manager paid for our meal and gave us $30 in gift certificates. If it weren't for T's love of the Freckled Lemonade, I don't know that I would venture back again.
MS purchased a fishing boat this week. We were on the lookout for a fishing boat and MS finally found one on Craigs List which he picked up on Wednesday. MS had been telling T all summer that he can show T where to catch BIG fish. So Thursday night, T decided he wanted to stay the night at MS' so that they could go fishing when MS got home from work. Unfortunately I had to work all day Friday, so I couldn't stay the night or go fishing. I have to admit, I might have been a little jealous as well as nervous that T was going out on a fishing boat that MS had yet to take out on the water. Fortunately all went well.
And as for my jealousy of wishing I was staying the night, well I survived. As for my jealousy of T having fun or catching fish without me, rest assured, T still loves his mom and didn't have that much fun. While T had fun singing to MS and entertaining him, there is something to be said about the bond between a mother and child.
Our bond. Love.
MS purchased a fishing boat this week. We were on the lookout for a fishing boat and MS finally found one on Craigs List which he picked up on Wednesday. MS had been telling T all summer that he can show T where to catch BIG fish. So Thursday night, T decided he wanted to stay the night at MS' so that they could go fishing when MS got home from work. Unfortunately I had to work all day Friday, so I couldn't stay the night or go fishing. I have to admit, I might have been a little jealous as well as nervous that T was going out on a fishing boat that MS had yet to take out on the water. Fortunately all went well.
And as for my jealousy of wishing I was staying the night, well I survived. As for my jealousy of T having fun or catching fish without me, rest assured, T still loves his mom and didn't have that much fun. While T had fun singing to MS and entertaining him, there is something to be said about the bond between a mother and child.
Our bond. Love.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Perfect Timing To Be...
In the midst of craziness of Little League regular season finishing, team tournaments, Allstar tournaments and T's weekend travel tournament team, I am almost at the point of no return of baseball. The last minute craziness of scheduled practices, the lack of communication and the forgetfulness of a fourteen year old with his baseball equipment dispersed between homes, I am at my limit!
In addition to baseball there is the little nuances of the latest round of hidden drama of an ailing father and his wife's adolescent behavior and lack of communication toppled on top of a job of no return or reward. The job issues shall pass - since they are crisis related for the most part - but the surmounting frustration of recruiting and retaining when the reality of people's lives, family and abuse occur leaves the situation prospects rather dismal.
While the much needed vacation could come sooner, I am definitely welcoming the vacation that MS planned for just the two of us, seven days/six nights (cutting a night short to return to motherhood and a respite foster care placement) in Riviera Maya, Mexico.
We are staying at one of the adult only resorts of karismahotels. While I went to the Riviera Maya in 2008 and stayed at an Iberostar with JN, we never left the resort. MS and I are hoping to travel and venture to Cancun and Playa Del Carmen. He would like to go deep sea fishing and we both would like to parasail. He would also love to play some golf which I said would be a great solo opportunity for him :) but agreed that if he wanted company (and entertainment) I would golf with him! I can't wait for this much needed vacation. MS and I have been spending more time together when we can, but clearly this seven day vacation traveling out of the country shall test our relationship.
I believe that he and I are ready for this test.
In addition to baseball there is the little nuances of the latest round of hidden drama of an ailing father and his wife's adolescent behavior and lack of communication toppled on top of a job of no return or reward. The job issues shall pass - since they are crisis related for the most part - but the surmounting frustration of recruiting and retaining when the reality of people's lives, family and abuse occur leaves the situation prospects rather dismal.
While the much needed vacation could come sooner, I am definitely welcoming the vacation that MS planned for just the two of us, seven days/six nights (cutting a night short to return to motherhood and a respite foster care placement) in Riviera Maya, Mexico.
We are staying at one of the adult only resorts of karismahotels. While I went to the Riviera Maya in 2008 and stayed at an Iberostar with JN, we never left the resort. MS and I are hoping to travel and venture to Cancun and Playa Del Carmen. He would like to go deep sea fishing and we both would like to parasail. He would also love to play some golf which I said would be a great solo opportunity for him :) but agreed that if he wanted company (and entertainment) I would golf with him! I can't wait for this much needed vacation. MS and I have been spending more time together when we can, but clearly this seven day vacation traveling out of the country shall test our relationship.
I believe that he and I are ready for this test.
Monday, June 27, 2011
U2 Concert
MS purchased U2 concert tickets in November 2009. Due to injury and the canceling of the show in 2010, he was finally able to see the concert on June 26, 2011 at Michigan State University. MS had asked me a couple months ago if I would like to go with him. I am not a concert fan. I like U2, but not a huge fan per se. I agreed to go. I wasn't really filled in on the details that MS' brother and his fiancee and a group of others were going. I wasn't informed of the details either, which I was OK with for the most part as I was just along for the ride.
I tried to be OK with not being in control. I didn't let it bother me, the lack of organization and planning. The clusterfuck that clearly became annoying to others in the group. I was along for the ride. There were eight of us (two different vehicles) that met up in a parking lot. The goal was then to find the rest of the group that were moving from bar to bar. We headed to find them, with two of the group using their google walk maps to get to the destination. A third in the party asked a security guard for directions. We followed the guard's direction - which was opposite of the cell phone directions. Apparently there were two destinations with the same name, but the one the guard sent us to was a restaurant and not a bar and pub. We were now two miles from our destination. One in the group bought a six pack from a grocery store and they drank in the lot while MS and I went to wait in line at Subway to get food. A taxi arrived to take us to the bar and MS and I decided that food was more important. We split with the group.
MS and I ate and then walked to the stadium. We got to the stadium an hour before the opening act, Florence and the Machine. We were in section 9, to the left of the stage and 34 rows up. I was shocked by the price of the tickets, which showed $250. MS never said how much they were, but was disappointed that it wasn't a sold out crowd and that general admission were selling for $30. It amazed me that the cost was so expensive to sit outside on bleachers and that MS would pay it!
The concert was good. I recognized five songs. The technology and stage was pretty awesome. What amazed me the most....MS knew EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. MS LOVES U2. I hadn't known until last night that this was the fifth time MS has seen U2 in concert. He purchased the tickets when they first went on sale and bought the best available fearing they would sell out in 15 minutes as the previous show he hoped to attend had.
I worried yesterday and wondered as I stood next to him, if I was deserving of going. Who had he purchased the extra ticket for in mind when he bought them? Was there anyone or just that he didn't want to go solo (as the rest of the group were nowhere near us!)? Did I disappoint him that I didn't know more about U2? And bottomline, I accepted and stopped worrying about it all and acknowledged that he asked me because he wanted me to go. He wanted me to experience the concert with him. That nothing else mattered.
I did ask MS on the walk back to the car what he thought of the concert and how it compared to his other U2 concert experiences. He answered, "It was OK. They are getting OLD! They just don't have the same energy as they once did!" He also expressed disappointment that they only sang three songs from their latest CD. Well, what is to be expected from a group that has remained together since 1978?
I definitely enjoyed the experience of going with MS. I appreciated being next to MS as he swayed and sang every single word of every single song. Learning something new about MS and loving him more.
I tried to be OK with not being in control. I didn't let it bother me, the lack of organization and planning. The clusterfuck that clearly became annoying to others in the group. I was along for the ride. There were eight of us (two different vehicles) that met up in a parking lot. The goal was then to find the rest of the group that were moving from bar to bar. We headed to find them, with two of the group using their google walk maps to get to the destination. A third in the party asked a security guard for directions. We followed the guard's direction - which was opposite of the cell phone directions. Apparently there were two destinations with the same name, but the one the guard sent us to was a restaurant and not a bar and pub. We were now two miles from our destination. One in the group bought a six pack from a grocery store and they drank in the lot while MS and I went to wait in line at Subway to get food. A taxi arrived to take us to the bar and MS and I decided that food was more important. We split with the group.
MS and I ate and then walked to the stadium. We got to the stadium an hour before the opening act, Florence and the Machine. We were in section 9, to the left of the stage and 34 rows up. I was shocked by the price of the tickets, which showed $250. MS never said how much they were, but was disappointed that it wasn't a sold out crowd and that general admission were selling for $30. It amazed me that the cost was so expensive to sit outside on bleachers and that MS would pay it!
The concert was good. I recognized five songs. The technology and stage was pretty awesome. What amazed me the most....MS knew EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. MS LOVES U2. I hadn't known until last night that this was the fifth time MS has seen U2 in concert. He purchased the tickets when they first went on sale and bought the best available fearing they would sell out in 15 minutes as the previous show he hoped to attend had.
I worried yesterday and wondered as I stood next to him, if I was deserving of going. Who had he purchased the extra ticket for in mind when he bought them? Was there anyone or just that he didn't want to go solo (as the rest of the group were nowhere near us!)? Did I disappoint him that I didn't know more about U2? And bottomline, I accepted and stopped worrying about it all and acknowledged that he asked me because he wanted me to go. He wanted me to experience the concert with him. That nothing else mattered.
I did ask MS on the walk back to the car what he thought of the concert and how it compared to his other U2 concert experiences. He answered, "It was OK. They are getting OLD! They just don't have the same energy as they once did!" He also expressed disappointment that they only sang three songs from their latest CD. Well, what is to be expected from a group that has remained together since 1978?
I definitely enjoyed the experience of going with MS. I appreciated being next to MS as he swayed and sang every single word of every single song. Learning something new about MS and loving him more.
Wonderful Weekend Recap
I had the most wonderful weekend. Some days I really struggle with what MS and I are doing in our relationship. I enjoy his company and love him, but I struggle with whether we should be dating. Our parenting differences are always going to be present. I suppose I sweep them under the rug as it doesn't impact us enjoying each other, most of the time.
With the respite and dog sitting, I haven't been to MS' house in several weeks. The plan was for me to head to his place on Friday night where we would go to a nice dinner at a restaurant he has wanted to take me to since November. We still haven't gone. T started his baseball tournament and it wasn't until Friday at 4:30p.m. that we learned he would be playing at 9:00a.m. at home Saturday morning. So it didn't make sense to head an hour north for the night to be back bright and early. MS' son was staying the night at a friend's house so MS offered to come down instead!
We met up with JA and her husband (and kids) for dinner on a whim! We then went back to their house and played a few games and hung out! It was great to be able to see JA, I really miss seeing her! We had a blast and it was a much better impromptu than a fancy dinner with just MS.
Saturday morning we went to the game. In a great finish, T's team WON! Was an awesome game. MS and I decided to head downtown to a little cafe but found a new restaurant en route that was open. We were the only customers in the place that had been open since March. A coffee, cafe that offers family game nights, live bands and promotes local food sources. The food was good, but overpriced for the amount and quality and MS and I agreed we probably wouldn't go back.
Then it was onto a day of accomplishment. We rented a truck from Menards and purchased a new full size bed for my guest bedroom. We were able to move the couch out of the guest bedroom to the basement after removing two doors, stair rail and smashing with all our might to get it past the basement trim! We made several trips to home depot to finish the front landscaping bricks including top soil and grass seed! I finally purchased a cheap patio set too! We assembled the guest bedroom and finished the yard. I was so absolutely relieved to tackle such big and overwhelming projects. MS even helped me hang four pieces of art too (since I have angst with adding holes in the wall!).
We managed to finish everything by about 6:45p.m. He headed home and I showered and packed for the rest of the weekend at his place. I grabbed pizza for dinner on the way to his house and crashed with an allergy attack during the movie Cropsy.
Sunday we woke up around 8a.m. and had breakfast and best 2 out of 3 of Skipbo. MS was just glad that he won a game! Then we went for a 15 mile rollerblade adventure, which we both survived with only a blister! Then we headed home to shower and change for the U2 concert at Michigan Stadium.
I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Good friends. Great accomplishments. Great Entertainment. As I lay in bed next to MS this morning I was happy. I am blessed. I am not looking for perfection, but with each day, it appears that I find myself understanding, accepting and loving him more. One day at a time. And today, when he confirmed that he has made arrangements for us to plan a vacation in August, I believe it may actually happen and I am looking forward.
With the respite and dog sitting, I haven't been to MS' house in several weeks. The plan was for me to head to his place on Friday night where we would go to a nice dinner at a restaurant he has wanted to take me to since November. We still haven't gone. T started his baseball tournament and it wasn't until Friday at 4:30p.m. that we learned he would be playing at 9:00a.m. at home Saturday morning. So it didn't make sense to head an hour north for the night to be back bright and early. MS' son was staying the night at a friend's house so MS offered to come down instead!
We met up with JA and her husband (and kids) for dinner on a whim! We then went back to their house and played a few games and hung out! It was great to be able to see JA, I really miss seeing her! We had a blast and it was a much better impromptu than a fancy dinner with just MS.
Saturday morning we went to the game. In a great finish, T's team WON! Was an awesome game. MS and I decided to head downtown to a little cafe but found a new restaurant en route that was open. We were the only customers in the place that had been open since March. A coffee, cafe that offers family game nights, live bands and promotes local food sources. The food was good, but overpriced for the amount and quality and MS and I agreed we probably wouldn't go back.
Then it was onto a day of accomplishment. We rented a truck from Menards and purchased a new full size bed for my guest bedroom. We were able to move the couch out of the guest bedroom to the basement after removing two doors, stair rail and smashing with all our might to get it past the basement trim! We made several trips to home depot to finish the front landscaping bricks including top soil and grass seed! I finally purchased a cheap patio set too! We assembled the guest bedroom and finished the yard. I was so absolutely relieved to tackle such big and overwhelming projects. MS even helped me hang four pieces of art too (since I have angst with adding holes in the wall!).
We managed to finish everything by about 6:45p.m. He headed home and I showered and packed for the rest of the weekend at his place. I grabbed pizza for dinner on the way to his house and crashed with an allergy attack during the movie Cropsy.
Sunday we woke up around 8a.m. and had breakfast and best 2 out of 3 of Skipbo. MS was just glad that he won a game! Then we went for a 15 mile rollerblade adventure, which we both survived with only a blister! Then we headed home to shower and change for the U2 concert at Michigan Stadium.
I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Good friends. Great accomplishments. Great Entertainment. As I lay in bed next to MS this morning I was happy. I am blessed. I am not looking for perfection, but with each day, it appears that I find myself understanding, accepting and loving him more. One day at a time. And today, when he confirmed that he has made arrangements for us to plan a vacation in August, I believe it may actually happen and I am looking forward.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Meeting Anniversary
Tomorrow, May 12, 2011, will be the one year anniversary of meeting MS. We had chatted a few times online and on the phone before we met in person. We met at a Chinese restaurant where we talked for hours.
I wasn't immediately attracted to him. The idea of him being a full time parent to his son who had no relationship with his mother was daunting. We met again a few days later for our second date. The date went well, but again, I couldn't escape the fear of a full time parent. I didn't feel comfortable having him choose between time with me and time with his son. He assured me that he had a right to date and if it wasn't me, it would be someone. After our second date, I just couldn't do it. We didn't see each other again.
Until...October 2010. We have been dating since. I wish I could say that today I am more comfortable with him being a full time parent. I am not. Let me clarify. It isn't that I have an issue with him being a full time parent, I have the issue that he is an absent full time parent. His relationship with his 14 year old son is more representative of a roommate or friend than a parent or authority figure. Most weekends when MS works, his son would be at home, although more frequently he is gone staying with friends. Weekends when MS is home, his son is gone the entire weekend at friends. His son does seem to look forward to opportunities of visiting me and my son to go bowling or play board games. Quite a surprise for me!
Since October, his son has been suspended from school and broke his collar bone. He recently was involved in a skate board incident where we spent three hours in the medical center and required follow up orthodontist appointment for loose and misaligned teeth and a CT scan for concern of a brain bleed as he had visual head ticks. The police have been involved on at least two occasions as his son wasn't where he was suppose to be. Mother's Day was the most recent involvement. He hadn't been home since Saturday morning and his whereabouts were unknown Sunday evening. Apparently after asking his friend if he could move in with him and his grandmother and being told "no" the two teens took off. MS doesn't understand why his son wouldn't want to live with him as he has everything.
Everything but his dad's time, attention and interest. MS and I have talked about this on more than one occasion. Nothing changes.
MS is a good guy. He is laid back and easy going. I haven't seen anything of the contrary although he reports a different persona at work and apparently his son must see something different too. Am I missing something or do people have different perspectives from his different responsibilities?
My main concern remains. MS and I have opposite parenting styles and relationships with our children. I don't foresee this ever changing. We do have fun together and love each other. We get along extremely well. BUT...our boys are FOURTEEN. Do I really want to watch the downward spiral of their relationship for my own companionship for four years until our boys are "adults" or high school graduates? And then what?
I have always preferred the idea of a Mr. Right not a Mr. Right Now. But no one is perfect. When as individuals do we determine what is worth accepting and settling and what isn't?
I wasn't immediately attracted to him. The idea of him being a full time parent to his son who had no relationship with his mother was daunting. We met again a few days later for our second date. The date went well, but again, I couldn't escape the fear of a full time parent. I didn't feel comfortable having him choose between time with me and time with his son. He assured me that he had a right to date and if it wasn't me, it would be someone. After our second date, I just couldn't do it. We didn't see each other again.
Until...October 2010. We have been dating since. I wish I could say that today I am more comfortable with him being a full time parent. I am not. Let me clarify. It isn't that I have an issue with him being a full time parent, I have the issue that he is an absent full time parent. His relationship with his 14 year old son is more representative of a roommate or friend than a parent or authority figure. Most weekends when MS works, his son would be at home, although more frequently he is gone staying with friends. Weekends when MS is home, his son is gone the entire weekend at friends. His son does seem to look forward to opportunities of visiting me and my son to go bowling or play board games. Quite a surprise for me!
Since October, his son has been suspended from school and broke his collar bone. He recently was involved in a skate board incident where we spent three hours in the medical center and required follow up orthodontist appointment for loose and misaligned teeth and a CT scan for concern of a brain bleed as he had visual head ticks. The police have been involved on at least two occasions as his son wasn't where he was suppose to be. Mother's Day was the most recent involvement. He hadn't been home since Saturday morning and his whereabouts were unknown Sunday evening. Apparently after asking his friend if he could move in with him and his grandmother and being told "no" the two teens took off. MS doesn't understand why his son wouldn't want to live with him as he has everything.
Everything but his dad's time, attention and interest. MS and I have talked about this on more than one occasion. Nothing changes.
MS is a good guy. He is laid back and easy going. I haven't seen anything of the contrary although he reports a different persona at work and apparently his son must see something different too. Am I missing something or do people have different perspectives from his different responsibilities?
My main concern remains. MS and I have opposite parenting styles and relationships with our children. I don't foresee this ever changing. We do have fun together and love each other. We get along extremely well. BUT...our boys are FOURTEEN. Do I really want to watch the downward spiral of their relationship for my own companionship for four years until our boys are "adults" or high school graduates? And then what?
I have always preferred the idea of a Mr. Right not a Mr. Right Now. But no one is perfect. When as individuals do we determine what is worth accepting and settling and what isn't?
Shallow or Sure?
I have been extremely busy at work as of late. I seem to be accommodating clients and working a lot of late nights. I am always amazed how inflexible clients are, when I am helping them to achieve their goals, dreams and desires.
I have recently met with two married couples that sleep in opposite bedrooms. I understand separate bedrooms becomes more frequent in long-term relationships. Personally, I don't think that I could ever live with someone in a committed relationship if we didn't desire the companionship of each other or had snoring issues that affected our ability to sleep together. Maybe that's why I am still single, although I maintain that the only way my ex-husband and I could have remained married was if we lived in different states! One couple though, of 27 years have only shared a bedroom for six months. SIX. MONTHS. I couldn't imagine. What is even more difficult to comprehend is that for the past 21 years his "bedroom" is in the basement in a room the size of a closet wedged in the unfinished basement area of storage and the utility room. He has no desire to move up to the main sleeping quarters where there were three vacant bedrooms.
I was talking with a man today about his job and he mentioned he makes whitening strips. He asked if I wanted some. It flashed me back to a bad first meet/date I had a couple years ago where the guy offered to bring me whitening strips because it was where he worked too. I mentioned this to the man. He offered a name and I honestly couldn't recall. The first name might have been, but my description was dead on to who he had said. I felt shallow after describing him as short and obese and full of tattoos. But it was the truth.
Another recent experience I met a client's fiance. They met through eHarmony last August. They are getting married this month. Neither have ever been married. He is 40 and she is in her late 30's. As I sat with him interviewing him I couldn't help but feel shallow. He is a very nice man, but definitely not my type. He had bariatric surgery years ago and still has weight to lose (lost 200#'s already) plus as he calls it, the "apron" of excess skin that he believes is 50 pounds. He is also 5'5" tall and worked third shift. Is it shallow that makes us understand what we are attracted to or what we are looking for or is it a sense of being sure?
I have recently met with two married couples that sleep in opposite bedrooms. I understand separate bedrooms becomes more frequent in long-term relationships. Personally, I don't think that I could ever live with someone in a committed relationship if we didn't desire the companionship of each other or had snoring issues that affected our ability to sleep together. Maybe that's why I am still single, although I maintain that the only way my ex-husband and I could have remained married was if we lived in different states! One couple though, of 27 years have only shared a bedroom for six months. SIX. MONTHS. I couldn't imagine. What is even more difficult to comprehend is that for the past 21 years his "bedroom" is in the basement in a room the size of a closet wedged in the unfinished basement area of storage and the utility room. He has no desire to move up to the main sleeping quarters where there were three vacant bedrooms.
I was talking with a man today about his job and he mentioned he makes whitening strips. He asked if I wanted some. It flashed me back to a bad first meet/date I had a couple years ago where the guy offered to bring me whitening strips because it was where he worked too. I mentioned this to the man. He offered a name and I honestly couldn't recall. The first name might have been, but my description was dead on to who he had said. I felt shallow after describing him as short and obese and full of tattoos. But it was the truth.
Another recent experience I met a client's fiance. They met through eHarmony last August. They are getting married this month. Neither have ever been married. He is 40 and she is in her late 30's. As I sat with him interviewing him I couldn't help but feel shallow. He is a very nice man, but definitely not my type. He had bariatric surgery years ago and still has weight to lose (lost 200#'s already) plus as he calls it, the "apron" of excess skin that he believes is 50 pounds. He is also 5'5" tall and worked third shift. Is it shallow that makes us understand what we are attracted to or what we are looking for or is it a sense of being sure?
Home Improvements: Hallway
MS, my bf has some serious OCD issues, with my house. Every time he comes over, he points out every flaw - from painting issues, unsunk nails, too high light switches, not enough switches...you name it, he points it out. One day he managed to point out a color spot on my bedroom ceiling, a blue color on the kitchen ceiling and then peeling paint in the front entrance.
He scraped the ceiling, which then managed to be half of the ceiling which would require new paint. Unfortunately the ceiling paint I had was different texture and due to the cold temperature in the entrance dried and cracked requiring more scraping and a whole new ceiling paint job (to be done later). The imaginary blue in the kitchen that I painted over can now be seen as a different ceiling white. The nails that he sunk under the window trim then meant that I had to sink all of them in the trim around the bathroom, which meant I was leaning on a ladder and balancing the thought of falling while filling in nail holes. All of his LITTLE jobs and negativity means BIG projects for me as they aren't quick fixes.
I did finally manage to repaint the hallway - the only area in my house to have NOT been painted (well except inside closets!). I had avoided the hallway in all it's off white and dirty glory with SEVEN doorways and SIX doors. I vacillated on colors and finally settled on a tan along the yellow spectrum, Toasted Almond. I also removed all the toe molding and replaced it along with repainting all of the doors white. I painted the coat hook and shelf and updated the hooks and added an additional. It is so nice to just not see all the dirt and discoloration anymore. So at peace...so wonderful what a coat of paint can accomplish!
He scraped the ceiling, which then managed to be half of the ceiling which would require new paint. Unfortunately the ceiling paint I had was different texture and due to the cold temperature in the entrance dried and cracked requiring more scraping and a whole new ceiling paint job (to be done later). The imaginary blue in the kitchen that I painted over can now be seen as a different ceiling white. The nails that he sunk under the window trim then meant that I had to sink all of them in the trim around the bathroom, which meant I was leaning on a ladder and balancing the thought of falling while filling in nail holes. All of his LITTLE jobs and negativity means BIG projects for me as they aren't quick fixes.
The next time he came over, he started on why the hallway only had one light switch. What hallway only has ONE switch? SERIOUSLY? I had had it. I couldn't handle the constant criticism and negativity. I didn't build the house! The house was built in the late 20's! I have been in it for 11 years, but it is not perfect. I am NOT perfect. Please try to be positive! I told him so. And, 30 minutes later his son asked why the light switch in the bathroom was so high! Sigh...
I did finally manage to repaint the hallway - the only area in my house to have NOT been painted (well except inside closets!). I had avoided the hallway in all it's off white and dirty glory with SEVEN doorways and SIX doors. I vacillated on colors and finally settled on a tan along the yellow spectrum, Toasted Almond. I also removed all the toe molding and replaced it along with repainting all of the doors white. I painted the coat hook and shelf and updated the hooks and added an additional. It is so nice to just not see all the dirt and discoloration anymore. So at peace...so wonderful what a coat of paint can accomplish!
Spring Break 2011
How long ago Spring Break seems. It has been just over a month since we returned from our trip to Branson, Missouri. We purchased seasons passes to Silver Dollar City and were able to attend for the weekend of the Youth Christian weekend as well as the first day of World Fest.
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| Cave @ Silver Dollar City |
The weather was very nice and it was much needed to see sun and feel warmth. T and I got along fabulously. Our two bedroom condo was really a "lock out" which was a one bedroom unit and a studio unit joined with a locked door. So basically, T had his own apartment for a week. The condo was more than sufficient for the two of us.
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| T's Room |
The week went by far too quickly with lazy mornings and attending shows. We attended a vacation club program which of course I had to purchase. I still have yet to determine if it is scandalous - but afterall vacations are my passion. I can never travel or venture enough and if I can have access to better deals than I can find, it is well worth my dollar. Of course by going to the presentation we received many free and discounted show tickets that entertained us throughout the week. We attended the Haygoods (a family of musicians and singers), a variety show that was very entertaining that their name escapes me and a Chinese acrobatic show that we both could have done without! We attended another property presentation at T's request where we received $100 in WalMart gift cards and T got half.
We played miniature golf, checked out Branson's landing and attempted fishing. The week went by entirely way too fast! We stopped in St. Louis and went to the top of the Arch and went to the City Museum. We had a blast at the Museum and I would highly recommend it! We also went to the aquarium in the museum and T had a blast getting his "manicure" by the fish that nibbled on him!
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| City Museum - Outside - St. Louis, Missouri |
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| St. Louis Arch |
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| T's Manicure |
I didn't once regret my decision to not vacation with MS. We texted and talked on the phone throughout our entire vacation, but I just felt that T and I had a much more relaxed and enjoyable time on our own.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Car & Vacation
As if right on cue, my car decided it is going to have some issues. Totally OK with it, because I suppose we all need some fine tuning every so often and afterall my car will be 10 years old this year!
T and I finalized our vacation plans. We had been kicking around some ideas after we saw the last minute availability of inventory of my timeshare. But with a last minute change of plans, MS and his son will not be going with us. I am still struggling somewhat with the decision to not have them go, but I know that it is for the best.
MS's son not only broke his collar bone a few weeks back after getting slammed into a locker by "a friend" and is in a sling, but he was suspended from school for five days for bringing a pocket knife to school. MS and I definitely have different parenting skills. When I first met him, after our second date I decided we shouldn't go out again as MS has his son full time. No other parent involvement. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I just don't do full time parenting, especially of someone elses child. So after the latest incident and not seeing MS very often, 10 days of road tripping and a vacation didn't seem like a good idea.
So T and I will be heading about 11.5 hours south, hopefully warmer. Somewhere we went four years ago that for the first time in a decade they saw snowflakes during April. Hopefully we won't have that experience this time!
With MS not going on vacation, that means that I am driving my car. I considered a rental, but knew regardless the latest thunking noise needed to be assessed. Good thing I took it in. Another tie rod replacement and both arm bushings. Could have been MUCH worse.
So looking forward to a repaired car and another vacation adventure with just T and me!
T and I finalized our vacation plans. We had been kicking around some ideas after we saw the last minute availability of inventory of my timeshare. But with a last minute change of plans, MS and his son will not be going with us. I am still struggling somewhat with the decision to not have them go, but I know that it is for the best.
MS's son not only broke his collar bone a few weeks back after getting slammed into a locker by "a friend" and is in a sling, but he was suspended from school for five days for bringing a pocket knife to school. MS and I definitely have different parenting skills. When I first met him, after our second date I decided we shouldn't go out again as MS has his son full time. No other parent involvement. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I just don't do full time parenting, especially of someone elses child. So after the latest incident and not seeing MS very often, 10 days of road tripping and a vacation didn't seem like a good idea.
So T and I will be heading about 11.5 hours south, hopefully warmer. Somewhere we went four years ago that for the first time in a decade they saw snowflakes during April. Hopefully we won't have that experience this time!
With MS not going on vacation, that means that I am driving my car. I considered a rental, but knew regardless the latest thunking noise needed to be assessed. Good thing I took it in. Another tie rod replacement and both arm bushings. Could have been MUCH worse.
So looking forward to a repaired car and another vacation adventure with just T and me!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentines Day
I had a great weekend spent with the bf and our kids. Everyone got along extremely well (THANK YOU sans teen cell phone!) and we worked on looking at vacation options, together.
When the BF and his son arrived to the house on Friday night, I was greeted with:
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| A dozen roses Today my BF had a dozen covered strawberries delivered to my work: |
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| A dozen covered strawberries |
Friday, February 11, 2011
Valentine Goodie Part II: EPIC FAIL
So before the final baking debacle was complete, I posted this. Of course part of the reason for wanting to get the Valentine baking out of the way tonight was I wanted to bring in a small goodie bag for a co-worker that had a rough day. I figured she would enjoy something sweet. My honest intention wasn't to kill her!
So as you can see, my brownies don't look like the picture on the recipe card. Not even remotely. As I mentioned, the filling was swimming! Then with the difference of the baking pan, I added five minutes more bake time, but as you can see the sides were beginning to brown. While the toothpick wasn't completely clean, I was afraid I would end up with burnt brownies if I baked much longer. I attempted to be patient to let them cool.
Then I used my new cookie cutter for the large heart and a small one I already had. The brownie was still very warm and didn't come out of the "prepared pan" as well as I hoped as it was pretty soft. The smaller heart almost looks like the recipe picture, but the larger one, not so much.
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| Brownies right from the oven |
So as you can see, my brownies don't look like the picture on the recipe card. Not even remotely. As I mentioned, the filling was swimming! Then with the difference of the baking pan, I added five minutes more bake time, but as you can see the sides were beginning to brown. While the toothpick wasn't completely clean, I was afraid I would end up with burnt brownies if I baked much longer. I attempted to be patient to let them cool.
Then I used my new cookie cutter for the large heart and a small one I already had. The brownie was still very warm and didn't come out of the "prepared pan" as well as I hoped as it was pretty soft. The smaller heart almost looks like the recipe picture, but the larger one, not so much.
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| Heart Shaped Surprise Brownies (Just like the picture - NOT) |
While they look good enough to eat, the taste? Ummm...yeah, I think I'll buy the boxed stuff afterall. I broke my vow to not eat anything after 9p.m. because I can't give out brownies that taste terrible, Can I?
Sometimes it's the thought that counts right? Yeah I'm sure my co-worker will totally get that I attempted to make her fudge but couldn't without the heavy cream so I wanted to make her a brownie. And yeah, I f'd that up too. But here's pictures to prove I attempted? Yeah, that will go over like a ton of flying bricks.
Or better yet...A ton of flying brownies!
(On a completely random side note - I'm still LOVING my dishes that MS gave me for Christmas!)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Valentines (Not So) Goodie...
Two years ago was the first time I was creative and managed to give a Valentine gift. I went all out, let me tell you, as can be witnessed here. But for those that don't want to check it out, in summary, I decorated brownie bites (that I purchased at Sams Club) with chocolate and strawberry frosting and put a hug or kiss on the top. Not very creative for most, but most impressive for ME.
This year I had this great idea in my mind (damn mind, never a good thing to use, always a good thing to waste!) of what I wanted to do this year. I wanted to make sweets that were peanut butter and chocolate and put them in a decorated box of some sort. Similar to two years earlier, but with actual baking and more effort. (Note to self: Not a Good Idea)
Many years ago I made some awesome peanut butter chocolate fudge. I don't recall the recipe being extremely easy and somewhat labor intensive, but well worth the work! Of course I can't find the recipe. I remembered it was with a cluster of recipes I had from a magazine and I still had a few left. So I searched for recipes and found one that seems very simplistic, so figured I could try it (Note to self: Try is NOT a good idea when hoping to have the perfect final result the FIRST time). So I printed the recipe - twice - since who knows what happened the first time around (of course I assumed it printed and closed out of the search engine). I made a list of the ingredients that I would need.
I even purchased cutesy heart cookie/brownie cutters and tiny ones for the fudge the night before. Pre-planning, yep, that's me! I went to the store on my lunch hour and purchased everything I needed to make Double Chocolate Surprise Brownies and Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge.
That is, until I decided at 10:15p.m. to actually make the fudge and realized I missed the ingredient of heavy cream that was in the narrative of modification to make chocolate peanut butter glaze. Sigh. OK, onto making the brownies instead.
I had all the ingredients. I followed the directions exactly, because that's how I roll. Of course I struggled with the definition of beat and mix. So does mix mean not with the beaters or do I mix it in and use the beaters? Where is my bake by numbers already?
Direction 5 reads: "Reserve 1 cup of chocolate mixture. Pour remaining mixture into prepared 9-inch square pan."
Issues so far: How am I suppose to "prepare" the pan? So I sprayed it and lightly dusted it with flour because that seemed "prepared". I pulled out the tape measure to measure the pan and I think mine is 8", so I'll adjust the cooking time.
Next I make the "filling". Again I have issues with the definition of whip and mix. Ah what the hell? I'll beat it all up with the mixer. So after the filling is mixed I move on to the next step.
Direction 7 reads: "Pour the cream cheese mixture over the chocolate mixture, by tablespoon. Swirl to marble." (8 reads: Bake at 350...blah blah blah.)
Anyone else seeing my next issue? What the hell happened to the reserve cup? Was I suppose to pour the filling over the reserve cup and swirl? If so, then what was I suppose to do with it? If I poured it over the mixture in the prepared pan, when was I suppose to add the reserve cup?
Seriously, who the hell writes recipes? Do they ever proof read them? Besides the fact that a finger test tasted extremely salty and I wonder if it should have really been 1/4 tsp. of salt.
So, I put the filling on the prepared pan chocolate by tablespoon until I realized how ridiculous that was as there was so much filling it covered the entire pan! So then I took the reserve cup of chocolate and by tablespoon added that onto the filling and attempted to swirl; however, there was so much filling, it was practically swimming.
Yes, I understand now whey they are called Double Chocolate SURPRISE Brownies. The surprise is on me!
So pretty sure when they finish baking and cooling, they may be headed for the garbage. And tomorrow, I will be heading to get heavy cream and a box of Betty Crocker brownies and cookies which cost mere pennies to all the ingredients necessary to botch (I mean bake) my own!
Another reason why I have no reason to embrace Valentine's Day...
Happy Valentines Day to you and yours!
This year I had this great idea in my mind (damn mind, never a good thing to use, always a good thing to waste!) of what I wanted to do this year. I wanted to make sweets that were peanut butter and chocolate and put them in a decorated box of some sort. Similar to two years earlier, but with actual baking and more effort. (Note to self: Not a Good Idea)
Many years ago I made some awesome peanut butter chocolate fudge. I don't recall the recipe being extremely easy and somewhat labor intensive, but well worth the work! Of course I can't find the recipe. I remembered it was with a cluster of recipes I had from a magazine and I still had a few left. So I searched for recipes and found one that seems very simplistic, so figured I could try it (Note to self: Try is NOT a good idea when hoping to have the perfect final result the FIRST time). So I printed the recipe - twice - since who knows what happened the first time around (of course I assumed it printed and closed out of the search engine). I made a list of the ingredients that I would need.
I even purchased cutesy heart cookie/brownie cutters and tiny ones for the fudge the night before. Pre-planning, yep, that's me! I went to the store on my lunch hour and purchased everything I needed to make Double Chocolate Surprise Brownies and Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge.
That is, until I decided at 10:15p.m. to actually make the fudge and realized I missed the ingredient of heavy cream that was in the narrative of modification to make chocolate peanut butter glaze. Sigh. OK, onto making the brownies instead.
I had all the ingredients. I followed the directions exactly, because that's how I roll. Of course I struggled with the definition of beat and mix. So does mix mean not with the beaters or do I mix it in and use the beaters? Where is my bake by numbers already?
Direction 5 reads: "Reserve 1 cup of chocolate mixture. Pour remaining mixture into prepared 9-inch square pan."
Issues so far: How am I suppose to "prepare" the pan? So I sprayed it and lightly dusted it with flour because that seemed "prepared". I pulled out the tape measure to measure the pan and I think mine is 8", so I'll adjust the cooking time.
Next I make the "filling". Again I have issues with the definition of whip and mix. Ah what the hell? I'll beat it all up with the mixer. So after the filling is mixed I move on to the next step.
Direction 7 reads: "Pour the cream cheese mixture over the chocolate mixture, by tablespoon. Swirl to marble." (8 reads: Bake at 350...blah blah blah.)
Anyone else seeing my next issue? What the hell happened to the reserve cup? Was I suppose to pour the filling over the reserve cup and swirl? If so, then what was I suppose to do with it? If I poured it over the mixture in the prepared pan, when was I suppose to add the reserve cup?
Seriously, who the hell writes recipes? Do they ever proof read them? Besides the fact that a finger test tasted extremely salty and I wonder if it should have really been 1/4 tsp. of salt.
So, I put the filling on the prepared pan chocolate by tablespoon until I realized how ridiculous that was as there was so much filling it covered the entire pan! So then I took the reserve cup of chocolate and by tablespoon added that onto the filling and attempted to swirl; however, there was so much filling, it was practically swimming.
Yes, I understand now whey they are called Double Chocolate SURPRISE Brownies. The surprise is on me!
So pretty sure when they finish baking and cooling, they may be headed for the garbage. And tomorrow, I will be heading to get heavy cream and a box of Betty Crocker brownies and cookies which cost mere pennies to all the ingredients necessary to botch (I mean bake) my own!
Another reason why I have no reason to embrace Valentine's Day...
Happy Valentines Day to you and yours!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Texting Truth?
My bf has a Droid Smart Phone. Honestly, my bf is pretty smart without the phone. Actually I would almost beg to say he IS smarter than his phone. I can attest and I likely won't be playing Bezzerwizzer against him anytime soon!
However, when texting he uses the automatic text or completion or something. Clearly I have no idea. I have a Rumor2 phone without internet access. Yes, I am living in the Dark Ages and I am still alive! Anyway, I have to say that some of his texts just crack me up when he doesn't catch what the phone has completed. Typically it has to do with a change of wording when he is attempting to curse.
This morning I received this email response:
"Lying in bed trying to get warm. Need you to come head me up ;)"
Now that IS funny! Maybe the smart phone is smarter - but almost positive that should have been "heat"!
However, when texting he uses the automatic text or completion or something. Clearly I have no idea. I have a Rumor2 phone without internet access. Yes, I am living in the Dark Ages and I am still alive! Anyway, I have to say that some of his texts just crack me up when he doesn't catch what the phone has completed. Typically it has to do with a change of wording when he is attempting to curse.
This morning I received this email response:
"Lying in bed trying to get warm. Need you to come head me up ;)"
Now that IS funny! Maybe the smart phone is smarter - but almost positive that should have been "heat"!
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