The Kiss

It never seems to fail, when I actually begin to acknowledge or verbalize my feelings, something seems to go terribly awry. It hasn't yet, but maybe I anticipate the crap hitting the fan, or maybe it just does.

Last night I had plans with JN and Mr. Date came to where I was staying to hang out with us. Of course there was some serious preparatory discussions with him all alluding to "the kiss". The dreaded potential kiss that can make or break what you anticipate. If the kiss is bad, then might as well call it quits and move on, although it is possible that people can alter their kissing techniques. Of course this depends on how bad the kiss really is. If the kiss is good, then you are golden. It's like sweet confirmation of the moment, the moment where two worlds collide in a most positive way.

Mr. Date and I had the most awkward hello when we saw each other. All over "the kiss". We hadn't seen each other since last week Thursday but have talked on the phone or sent emails more than daily. Was it going to be a disappointment? When and where should it happen? Both of us were super nervous...how old ARE we?

So I invited him into my hotel room, as I was staying the night to hangout with JN. And we sat on the bed as this hotel room didn't have a couch or sitting area other than a small table with two chairs which was filled with the two cup coffee pot. So we sat on the bed and made chit chat. Drivel actually. Talked about our work days, talked about what the plans were for the evening. Avoided "the kiss".

We met JN in the parking lot and walked over to a restaurant for dinner. We then headed from there to a sports bar nearby to play some pool and hangout. It wasn't until we began playing pool that "the kiss" happened. And there it was. Soft, sweet, gentle and pure. So tender, I felt myself melting.

I didn't care who was around. I didn't care about anything at that very moment, or even the next many moments that followed. How surreal things can be when they are even better than you anticipated.

I like him. I really like him. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes me blush. He makes me worry about me. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want to be with him. And this, is something that I haven't felt in a VERY, VERY long time.

I'm still overwhelmed with the children situation. I still want to get to know him and really see where this could possibly go. I'm trying hard not to put up the road blocks or close doors before they ever open. It seems like he doesn't even care about my brick walls, he's found the door and walked right in.

I'm hoping that things work out and am focusing on one day at a time. JN mentioned that she's never seen me so giggly...really that just isn't me. I don't know what or who has taken over, but for now, I'm going to sit back and watch her in action. I'm even looking forward to making plans with him. Plans and meeting friends are two things that I seldom do with guys I date, so I'm trying something new and maybe I'll like it!

I do have four to six other guys from the site that I've been emailing with that want to meet me. I have let them know that I've met someone and want to see where it goes. I'm not into stringing people along or keeping others in the background in case things don't work. I want to give this a fair chance. I also got an im from the pool guy that chose Catch Phrase and drinking games with the neighbors rather than meeting up with me. Honestly, we both pretty much blew each other off. He wants me to come and see him for dinner, he even said he'll pay. I asked what the occasion was. No occasion. I think I'd rather paint my nails.