Few Days - Online Dating Dish

It seems like so long ago to try to catch up from two days ago, I stopped the last post mid-way since I received a call and headed out the door.

So for brevity, since that's my middle name, things have been going well. Thursday night, I did give my phone number out to two people, think I was at the point to just talk to a few on my childless weekend and get this "meet and greet" dating thing out of the way or maybe underway as it may be. One is a guy that I met on the site where I met Mr. Date. I'm not sure why I gave him my number, as I'm not really interested in him, but I'm also not anti-options or meeting people. The other, I gave my number to this guy after I clarified that I would not DATE this guy and he was happy just remaining friends - so figured the number was safe at that point.

Why I wouldn't date him, Jeff. He's a manly man of sorts, so that was OK, but I found him completely unattractive. We bantered back and forth pretty well and shared a few laughs, via instant messaging. He always felt a need to watch what he said to not "offend", which was probably a good thing since I'd had enough of the sexual discussions from people to push me over the edge. So he kept his at bay so that we could still chat. Somehow it just doesn't rock my world when I'm asked after hi, "Do you fall in love easily?" Or others, "Do you have big CANS?" Seriously, what the hell is that? Besides, Jeff is big into a role model video game and the renaissance, which just isn't really my thing. Something about the frequent, "milady" comments, makes me want to shove a big turkey leg down my throat so I can't respond! The clincher for him though to understand why we could only be friends was our difference of opinion on strip clubs and pornography.

Here's my view: I won't tolerate it. What a person does before me, is their right and their business; however, if I'm in a committed relationship, it is one based out of respect, mutual understanding and love. If I'm not good enough that my partner needs to satisfy himself with watching others in person or video or magazines, then what is the point? Don't waste my time or yours. One MAN is all I need, I would like for it to be the same in return. He tried to argue the point that if I were "unavailable" or "out of town", wow now that's reassuring. Besides, my marriage and my son's father were both HUGE into pornography - movies, magazines, internet...it's a trust and respect thing and I think two relationships having it is enough for me to say NO. Anyway, so Jeff told me that we would never work out unless either of us changed dramatically and he suggested I find an extremely religious man who may actually share my same morals on the subject. Hmmm....

Friday after work my girl friend (JN) and I hung out. We updated her new account with pictures and then went to dinner and listened to karaoke. Without pictures, she hadn't received many emails (2), but one was actually with Jeff! She had emailed HIM. Jeff called while we were finishing up dinner and said he was heading into town for a "meet & greet" with a very nice lady but hadn't heard back from her. Playing Ms. Matchmaker, I offered where we were if he wanted to stop by and meet both of us, since he had emailed with my friend (although it was rather brief basically asking for a picture). He ended up being stood up, so he came out and we met him. Definitely not MY type, but he and JN seemed to do OK, they exchanged numbers. I talked to both on Saturday - and they had their first phone conversation. New career in the making?

I had talked with Mr. Date twice on the phone while we were out. It really seems like this is becoming a full blown relationship and I'm starting to find myself slowly backing away. I do like him, but I want to meet other people. I don't want to settle and besides, I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship although I'm not a serial dater either.

Jeff left us about midnight. We left the bar about 1:30 or so then came back and got on the dating site. Within moments I was sent three im requests which wouldn't all open. Not sure if it was computer or user error or some combination of the two! Talked with one and was having a good time, friendly banter. JN left shortly thereafter as I couldn't convince her to stay the night. She said on Saturday that she should have. I continued my long im'ing with, I'll call him Doogie since he looks just like Doogie Howser, at least from the pictures. We chatted for a while and seeing that he lives in the same town, is 41 and we seemed to get along, I gave him my number...8675309 and told him to use the code name, JENNY. I did actually give him my number and asked if he was going to call to verify. He said he trusted me and then moments later, the phone was ringing, that was at 4:30a.m.

Doogie and I talked for over an hour on the phone. His voice didn't match the pictures and I found it somewhat distracting. Maybe I'm just really judgmental. I would like to say that I'm cautious. I seriously can't have every guy that I talk with or meet falling for me, I just couldn't handle that emotionally with the guilt and all. We talked about meeting on Saturday evening and he would give me a call when he got back as he had to learn a new camera from 7a.m.-1:30p.m. I crawled into bed at 6a.m. and was up and going at 10:30a.m. I never did get a call from Doogie. I didn't want to call him, since I still believe in chivalry and I thought that maybe he was sleeping. I did finally email him around 8 or so, which I received an email back from him that I saw after 2:00a.m. that said I could have called. Odd, stood up by tentative plans. NICE.

Meanwhile, I happened to get another email from someone that I have come across on other sites. Andy and I first started emailing, we figure somewhere between 19-24 months ago, when I was on my 10-month break from the ex-BF (which I went back to out of comfort and the fact that dating was disastrous in that the relationship with ex-BF got in the way.) I found Andy attractive, but there were a few issues that prevented me from meeting him, first he works for the same company as my son's father and I just didn't want any baby daddy drama. Second, his name is Andy (and he somewhat resembles), the name of a guy I dated in college that I graduated early to be at the same time with him that I considered he may have been the one. Yeah, I so wasn't the one for him. But we still keep in touch. Anyway, another issue with Andy was that he lives almost an hour away as well. So he and I never met. It wasn't that I was looking for a reason, I just really didn't like the whole thing about where he worked - even though he said he didn't know my son's dad. It always starts off that way! Andy and I have found each other on myspace since then and will occasionally share a few emails to see how each other are doing. Well, he found me the other day. It was a pleasant surprise and the fun banter picked up right away, since I feel like I KNOW the guy, so I told him I had been committed to a psyche ward for a few months dealing with the fact that we never met and other jokes! He has a good sense of humor, so it was fun.

Andy asked what I was doing Saturday night, as we were chatting online during the day. Since I only had verbal lets do something plans with Doogie, I said nothing much. He said that he would get back online and maybe we should meet and do drinks or something. I didn't want to feel a need to keep checking the computer, so I gave him my number. Completely different, since again I do feel like I know him somewhat after all this time. Besides, if I just meet him, I can move on and not wait on baited breath for what could have been! Ok, that isn't true, but fun nonetheless.

I emailed a few other people on Saturday but basically hung out vegging. I got to the gym and had a good workout and then took a very long way home, with a 2 mile walk. After about 7 or so, I still hadn't heard from Doogie or Andy. Finally decided that I would get ready, just in case, and then head to my office to try to tackle the mounds and mounds of work that just sits. At least I could be productive. Other than it being 110 degrees at work, I wasn't all that productive as I really didn't want to be there. About 30-45 minutes later, Andy called me. We talked on the phone for almost an hour and he said he didn't stand me up and still wanted to meet. He had to shower, so we met about 45 minutes later in the middle at a local chain restaurant - which closed at midnight.

Andy is classic case that his picture does not resemble him. At least not in the past few years. He looks smaller than 6'0" and has put on some weight all in the gut. I didn't find him as attractive. It wasn't odd, but the date definitely wasn't as good as mine with Mr. Date (even despite Mr. Date's shyness). I think that's the difference between drinks and an activity. I would completely prefer to DO something. I think Andy thought that I was a big drinker, which I'm not; however, on the rare occasions that I'm not driving, I can put 'em away. He ordered a second drink, I finished my first and was working on my second water. He appreciated that I don't drink and drive and didn't finish his either. He received a call from a friend and said he was "On a date", which just sounded really odd to me. I guess it was a date, but to me it was almost just like grabbing drinks with a friend you hadn't seen in a while, or never met! The restaurant was closing at midnight, so we left thereafter and he didn't want the night to end. I still couldn't believe that I met someone at 10:45p.m., but whatelse did I have to do, work???? So we went over to another bar, which wasn't super busy but the music was really loud.

It was hard to talk. We had a long discussion about his kissing, since he had previously mentioned that he is an excellent kisser. I then told him we would never kiss. It never seems to fail, 99.2% of the time, when someone is self-confident about a quality, they are wrong in my opinion. So I told him he ruined it for me. We left the bar about 1:30 and then I took him back to his vehicle (he had a headlight out so I offered to drive). He said, this is where the kiss comes. I asked him why. He really is an "odd duck". I hadn't quite figured him out, some OCD, weird beliefs, weird stances. I couldn't figure out if he wanted to be there and if he was that into me, it was just odd. I didn't mind the company, but I didn't think I was that into him. There were a couple times at the second bar that I wondered what kissing him would be like, but there in the car, I didn't want to know. I pulled the ultimate, "I don't kiss on the first date." line.

In some ways I felt weird being out with someone other than Mr. Date, but I did feel like Andy and I were friends and a harmless hanging out wasn't a big deal, since afterall Mr. Date and I are still in the beginning dating stages. I did have a message from Mr. Date, which I was happy to hear and I was glad I didn't kiss Andy just for the sake of kissing him. I really hope that my next kiss, is with Mr. Date.

I don't have any more dates planned right now. A few tentative things in the works, mainly just general conversations that if I'm somewhere or have time, possibly today we could get together. One is with a 50 year old man who wanted to take me sailing, I told him I prefer to be more "grounded" the first time we meet. But the guy is beginning to drive me crazy in that he repeatedly spells my name wrong, despite me typing it EVERY time! The old pool guy, Matt emailed me yesterday and wanted to know when I was going to be back in town so we could hang out. Umm...right on that. Yeah, not so much. Since our one "date" never happened because he played Catch Phrase while drinking heavily with his neighbors.

This coming week is the week that I will have my son all but Wednesday. JN and I are staying overnight where I work as she will be in the same city for a three day training. So we plan to get together that night and hit the town. Of course, that would be the only night that I could see Mr. Date, but I won't cancel plans with friends. So it's back to responsibilities and parenting and baseball and more baseball.

Onward and upward...