Shark vs. Eagle

Saturday in my attempt of being low key and regaining full consciousness and sobriety, I attempted to watch one of my latest blockbuster rentals, Shark vs. Eagle.

I mustered through twenty minutes. Twenty Minutes. It was that bad.

However, on a side note, that twenty minute movie became a twenty minute conversation with MD over dinner. I couldn't stop laughing. He clearly couldn't fathom the absurdity of the movie. I guess I'm not really that good of a story teller afterall. So when we got home, I had to put in the movie to show it to him.

You see, in that first twenty minutes there was the hottest sex scene you will ever witness in an R rated movie. Seriously, it could have been XXX rated. OK, NOT. I'm seriously kidding. Don't get all excited and think that you have to go out and rent the movie. Long story short, the girl goes to an animal costume party as a shark to the boy's party, Eagle, whom she likes. They end up in his bedroom which is beyond awkward as he shows her all of his geeky, nerdy inventions that if he doesn't continue to make, he will die. He then sits on the bed and asks if she wants to kiss. Yes. He then asks if she wants to lay down to kiss. Yes. Mind you, all while she has a shark costume enveloping her entire body and head and he has on a big eagle head costume that has a beak across the center of his forehead! He then asks if she wants to have sex. Yep. He takes off his headdress, she continues to be in her costume. Thank god for safe sex - he turns away and attempt two of a condom is successful. He then mounts her, fully dressed under the covers while she lays there fully dressed in her shark costume, but had apparently pulled down her under garments. And then within minutes it was done. End of scene.

The movie didn't get any better...actually I think that was the highlight!