Dream Analysis

Sometimes I recall my dreams. Most often, not so much. Last night I fell asleep while watching Inkheart with my son. I was pretty sure that in taking a catnap, I wouldn't be able to go to sleep. Which didn't help that I couldn't tire in front of the computer while playing cards either.

So I attempted to go to bed for the night. I flopped around the bed for what seemed like hours, a fish out of water. Maybe I was restless thinking about the huge freshwater angler fish that the girl recently caught that beat a world record that was in the news last night. Or maybe I was flopping for the fish!

I had so many thoughts racing through my mind. So many things I was thinking and feeling. So many things I wanted to process, to share, to discuss. And I couldn't. Who was I going to call. The biggest void in no longer dating JC is not having the ability to just pick up the phone and call him. Not that I always felt I could, because I didn't want to bother him or interrupt, but almost every night before or during bed, we would talk. And I miss that. What we tend to miss most are those small things that we so often take for granted. Not seeing him hasn't been as difficult because toward the end, there were many times where we went a while without seeing each other. Even when we were together other times, it was becoming as if we weren't. Anyway...

I woke up this morning and was driving to work when part of my dream surfaced like a huge red light on the highway of life! I recalled smoking. Not just smoking a cigarette, which I still have never done in my entire life. No, this was not a cigarette. It was a long skinny plastic red tube, the length of my hand. I inhaled and I puffed, almost like an inhaler. I remember thinking that JC was going to be smoking one and I wanted to do it first. I wanted to show him that I could or I would or that I did. That's all I recall. I never saw JC or anyone else in my dream for that matter. I remember coughing. I remember thinking that it was a way to get high, not just something to smoke. Maybe it had something to do with me thinking the night before as I drove by a gas station that a pack of cigarettes is $5.30 a pack, more than two gallons of gas! Maybe that's how my dream intertwined with smoking.

A friend of mine searched for dream analysis for me about smoking. While it wasn't a normal cigarette, here is what smoking references in your dream per Dreammoods.com:

To dream that you are smoking, indicates that you are trying to shield yourself and others against your emotions. You have trouble letting others in.

How much more fitting is that analysis?????