D Day

This morning, I thought it was July 9, 2009. I'm perfectly OK with the fact that it is not. Any other day, any other year, that day would have absolutely no relevance on me whatsoever, well with the exception of five years ago I suppose, but probably not even then.

A few weeks ago, while helping JC with his passport, the question of divorce date came up. I suppose I had to answer that same question when I applied yet again for my passport, but that recollection is buried in the recesses of the mind.

I know for a fact that five years ago, on May 26, 2009, I spent the final day in Court for my divorce. After more than eight months of a contested divorce, with no children. A day that I prefer to not ever experience again, EVER. And walking out of the court that day, I WAS DIVORCED; however, legally and officially the actual divorce order was signed on July 9, 2004.

Five years ago. A world ago. A lifetime ago. How young and naive. How vulnerable.

I have never once looked back at that time in my life and wished I was still living it. Still making the most out of an unsalvagable marriage. I never once felt regret for the decisions I made to divorce or to marry for that matter. I have no regrets, only life lessons. Maybe for that experience I'm hardened, I'm hesitant, I'm void of potential, void of possibilities...but what I do know, is that my life is so much better now.

As I looked in the mirror this morning and thought that it was July 9, 2009, I looked deep into my own eyes, deep into my heart and soul and...I smiled.