First Impressions

I will be the first to admit, that at times, I can be quite standoffish, initially. I am honest to a fault and I often speak my mind. I trust hesitantly; however, when I do and I develop a friendship, I trust with my heart and soul until it is broken. And once broken, I'm not easily if ever repaired. In saying so, I keep to myself. I will likely give an aura of something I am not - bitchy, snarky, unapproachable...to name a few...upon first meeting.

Likewise, I'm likely quick to judge. I would like to say that I'm not judgmental, I think I've even posted about it before; however, I'm quick to assess a situation. If I feel that a man is sizing me up or flirting, I will dismiss any contact or interaction, especially if I'm in a relationship. I understand that most would agree that flirting is harmless, but I am more the type that what would it look like to others? How would someone else view the exchange/interaction? How would I feel if someone did the same thing to me? And in doing so, I make conscious decisions on the interactions that I make, maybe not always good ones.

Friday I met someone. I was out with my son and we met someone. Clearly not in any mindframe to interact or engage with someone new, I had no interest. Not to say that I wasn't polite or civil, which I was, but clearly guarded. Questions of his intentions, motivations and then of course questions of safety for my son and initial first impressions (not all good) were in the forefront. It might not have helped that I was pressed for time, had things to do and didn't want any man trying to be "nice" to me or my son.

I believe that he did try to casually flirt and interact with us. He asked if he made me nervous. What, me nervous? Don't kid yourself, little man, you mean nothing to me. Really, I can be that hard and callous, and sometimes rightfully so. Although this time, in retrospect, not. However, in my defense, despite my education and career, I am a parent. And his safety will always come first.

Last night, we saw the man again. In a non-direct way, I entrusted him to protect my son. This man and I engaged in casual conversation and it actually went quite well. My son had a fabulous time with him and said he was "Really Cool".

While this man doesn't know, I'd like to apologize for my behavior. For being a parent. For being concerned and maybe not giving him the generosity and respect that he deserved when we first met. I'd also like to thank him again. Thank you for being a nice person. For spending time with my son and being a positive influence and for being a good person.

As I sat in my car last night, I listened to DeLilah on the radio. She was talking about how we treat other people. How we need to take time and build relationships with those we may not notice: the sales clerk, the waitress, the janitor, etc. They are people too. Life will be so much better and happier when we recognize people in our lives and appreciate them for who they are and the like.

A life lesson that should never be forgotten.