It's been almost a week since I looked at my 401k. Not because I've been too busy in a deep depression from the last peek, but because I've been living life and trying not to focus on what I never had possession of and the reality that I will never have possession of it!
Surprisingly so, today when I looked it was up. I knew that it would be, seeing that the market hasn't had any additional major drops. It was pleasant (clearly not one of my most intriguing and fascinating assessments) to see the increase. Under normal circumstances, say if I had won the money in the lotto or at the casino or it was a refund check, I would be ecstatic.
Unfortunately, I'm not. Maybe because I feel like at any moment, there will be another quick gut wrenching blow to the ever sagging stomach when I least expect it. Maybe it's the expectation that makes it less impressionable.
Somehow as I sit here, still reveling in the rise, I can't help but realize that I would be happier to have found $20.00 stuffed in the bottom of my pocket covered in lint. In retrospect, I suppose it's because that $20.00 is tangible. It's proof that good things do come and that there in my pocket or in my hand, I have control. I have the destiny to determine what to do with my newly acquired money.
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