Expressing Feelings

This weekend, amidst my gallivanting with friends and spending time with my son, I did think about and have an opportunity to talk to Mr. Date, a lot. We've managed to have very long and in depth conversations. Something that I just felt had been lacking between us although I wasn't entirely missing it. He promised he would be comfortable enough and then begin talking, but I have never not been able to talk to someone, especially someone that I was interested in seeing more than once!

Maybe he started talking more since he could sense my freakout ways and the comments about our lack of communication. Sometimes pointing out the obvious really does work! I find myself opening up to him more and more and I still don't really know why. With all the hurt and pain that I've gone through in my short lifetime, I seriously would have thought that I would never consider dating again. Although with the ex-bf it wasn't really like that, he's a great man and he will make a very lucky woman truly happy and blessed. For the right woman, he could offer her the world. I just wasn't that woman.

I've actually started to acknowledge my feelings too. And not just to my closest friends. I have even acknowledged them to him. I felt weird telling him things but weirder not telling him. It was as if I had a secret, but I didn't want to keep it inside. Despite the possibility of him not reciprocating those feelings, for once in my life I decided I needed to share. No holds bar and let it be known that this guy, this man that makes me melt, that makes me laugh, that makes me want to be with him and try a stab at a relationship again has me falling.

I wish I could put my finger on it. I wish that I could understand the one thing about him that makes me so completely into him. What I do understand is that it isn't one thing. It's the whole package. I'm sure that there will be surprises in that package as we all have them. Things that will continue to question my sanity and our relationship. I don't expect it to be all roses but I do feel like with him, we can pull the dandelions together. Maybe it's because we've been through similar situations and there is that commonality. Maybe it's just chemistry and an understanding. Maybe it's a matter of being somewhere at the right place and time.

Or maybe for once, I'm finally ready. I'm ready to open up my arms and my heart and to fully allow myself to trust and to love. To make myself susceptible to the good, the bad and the ugly because at the end of the day...It's all good.