Saturday, August 25, 2012

Dating Drivel

MS and I are still dating.  When I last blogged, I was struggling with the feelings of the possibility of MS moving closer.  I have to admit, that those feelings still exist, although they have transformed slightly.  MS did list his house and sold it within a month.  As he was pressed with a move out date, he quickly began searching for houses in the town I live in.  He made an offer on a house, which was countered.  During the countering process, he found another house which he liked better that he made an offer, which after some countering the deal was done.

MS and his son moved into their new house in mid-June.  The house is literally 0.4 miles from my front door to his front door.  I wasn't sure how I felt about him moving closer.  For the most part, the most prevalent feelings were the possible ones of guilt.  The premonition of feelings I would have if the relationship didn't work and this man and his teenage son found themselves residing in a town where they didn't want to live.  MS and I had talked about this several times.  He assured me that his moving wasn't just to be closer to me.  While obviously that was a bonus, he wanted to move to be free of an over sized house and payment as well as give his son a fresh start.

There is definitely something to be said about long distance and local distance relationships.  I can't say that I have ever really had a successful local relationship, although the inherit desire for convenience has been prevalent.  With the distance relationship, I made plans to spend child free weekends and nights with him.  We spent long periods of time together, sometimes it felt as if it were too much, but the hour commute home wasn't worth it.  MS and I seldom disagree.  Granted, there were times I would get frustrated, but with the distance, I never just got in the car to come home and not work something out.  Now, I feel like the convenience and the "out" is ever available. With the local distance, MS will text and ask to stop by on his way home from work.  I feel lost as to what we should do.  Sometimes it is just awkward.  Do I feed him?  Do I entertain?  Do we have to do something?  Is he a guest?  We no longer have that "plan" of our time together.  With the local distance we also do not spend the night together.  I think we have spent the night twice in two months, with the exception of our vacation. 

I feel as if our relationship has turned into a friendship.  We stop by and say HI.  We may grab or make dinner together and then we part.  The four of us will do things together, like bowling or golfing.  Yes, I said golfing. 

I am just not sure where we go from here.  My good friend D said to me, "Where do you want it to go?  Is there someone else?  Do you think he's cheating on you? You know you don't want to get married."  I am not interested in anyone else and I don't have any concerns that he is either.  Do I ever think I want to or will get married?  At this point, the answer is NO.  So does that mean we stay stagnant? 

Somehow, I think that local distance relationships are more work.  You can no longer assume a relationship or plans.  The bottomline is communication is imperative.  If your relationship is important to you, make it a priority.  And with that, tonight MS spent time together.  More than just sitting on the couch or holding hands.  More than just talking about our day.  More than being just friends. 

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