As I mentioned before, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. MS and I continue to date, almost sixteen months. As MS likes to remind me, no one and no relationship is perfect.
I understand this, but I also feel that some things are non-negotiable. And yet, then I come to realize that maybe I am wrong. Maybe standards, expectations and personal beliefs may be malleable. MS and I have had two major hurdles in our relationship (with the exception of our difference in parenting styles). These hurdles, while they have been crossed, I don't feel like they have been conquered. At the core, I struggle with trust issues. MS has suggested we go to counseling. I am not sure I am ready to go there, but deep down, I know that if I am going to make a commitment, we need help. I can't continue in a relationship with one foot out the door.
MS has told me repeatedly that he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. Granted, he has been most verbal about this during our most difficult and trying times. As of late, he has decided he wants to sell his large house and move closer to me. There hasn't been any discussion of living together. Maybe he really does know me. He has researched the housing market in my area. MS loves the idea of a smaller, more affordable home that would be closer to me and allow us to see each other daily if possible. He even likes several houses on my street that are currently for sale.
While I have explored housing options with him, even so far as contacting a realtor friend to talk to him about sale options on his house. I plan to support him in anyway possible; however, maybe I don't think he will ever move. I did ask him if he would still want to live in my town if we didn't work out. He said he loves my town and would. Somehow I find this hard to believe, but I have to trust him to be honest. MS has yet to talk to his son about the possibility of moving. Wednesday the realtor will talk to him about his options, as MS feels that he will owe at least $40,000 after selling his house due to the downturn of the market when he built his house four years ago.
MS sent me a large fortune cookie for Valentine's Day (it is approximately 1200 calories and 9 servings). He said he hopes to see me Wednesday night to give me the rest of my Valentine's gift. Again, I'm not worried about a proposal. If that was his intention why would he talk and research purchasing a house for him and his son?
I'm just not sure where our relationship is heading. I really think that we both would benefit from a third party addressing both of our concerns and issues. And mom, I really don't think he is the controlling, stalker-type. And yes, I know I said that about my ex-husband too, but...I do believe that MS is different.