Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Shallow or Sure?

I have been extremely busy at work as of late.  I seem to be accommodating clients and working a lot of late nights.  I am always amazed how inflexible clients are, when I am helping them to achieve their goals, dreams and desires.

I have recently met with two married couples that sleep in opposite bedrooms.  I understand separate bedrooms becomes more frequent in long-term relationships.  Personally, I don't think that I could ever live with someone in a committed relationship if we didn't desire the companionship of each other or had snoring issues that affected our ability to sleep together.  Maybe that's why I am still single, although I maintain that the only way my ex-husband and I could have remained married was if we lived in different states!  One couple though, of 27 years have only shared a bedroom for six months.  SIX. MONTHS.  I couldn't imagine.  What is even more difficult to comprehend is that for the past 21 years his "bedroom" is in the basement in a room the size of a closet wedged in the unfinished basement area of storage and the utility room.  He has no desire to move up to the main sleeping quarters where there were three vacant bedrooms. 

I was talking with a man today about his job and he mentioned he makes whitening strips.  He asked if I wanted some.  It flashed me back to a bad first meet/date I had a couple years ago where the guy offered to bring me whitening strips because it was where he worked too.  I mentioned this to the man.  He offered a name and I honestly couldn't recall.  The first name might have been, but my description was dead on to who he had said.  I felt shallow after describing him as short and obese and full of tattoos.  But it was the truth.

Another recent experience I met a client's fiance.  They met through eHarmony last August.  They are getting married this month.  Neither have ever been married.  He is 40 and she is in her late 30's.  As I sat with him interviewing him I couldn't help but feel shallow.  He is a very nice man, but definitely not my type.  He had bariatric surgery years ago and still has weight to lose (lost 200#'s already) plus as he calls it, the "apron" of excess skin that he believes is 50 pounds.  He is also 5'5" tall and worked third shift.  Is it shallow that makes us understand what we are attracted to or what we are looking for or is it a sense of being sure? 

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