Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Break Up Via Text

Let me preface this post by saying that I have never broken up with anyone via text, yet.  I'm not a big texter per se, although I do find myself hovering near my monthly allotment max of 1000. 

I feel that breaking up with someone is difficult enough, but I'm woman enough to do so in person.  If I invested enough time with someone to share who I am, then I should invest the time and respect toward that same person to tell them in person that the relationship is ending.  Of course I have to actually be dating someone to break up, right?  Or do we sometimes find ourselves breaking up or terminating relationships via text or instant messenger?

The last person I was dating or getting to know or seeing or spending time with or whatever you want to call it, I met with him in person, despite us both knowing that any chance of a dating relationship was over.  We just lacked that spark.  Throughout the time we spent together, I can't count how many times he said, "I want to maintain our friendship.  I don't want to lose you as a friend, first and foremost."  As well as any other 100 different variations and yet, he has not once initiated any contact with me since.  Not once.

This morning I feel as if I received my first, Official. Break-up.  Text. 

The text read:  I am in town and I have your house key.  Is there a special place you want me to leave it?

My heart sunk a little.  Immediately I paused trying to finish getting ready for work and felt a deep wave of sadness envelope me.  Then I looked in the mirror and half smiled, half smirked at the irony of the text, or was it irony at all?

I wasn't being dumped.  A relationship wasn't ending.  A relationship was changing.  One of my dearest friends JA is closing doors and opening others as she embarks on a new journey in a new town in a beautiful new home.  She moved twenty minutes away.  Not a world away.  She just feels that as she unloads boxes and gets settled that there are loose things she needs to take care of.  My house key apparently being one of them as she no longer needs to use my house as a refuge and place of sleep during endless open houses.

Regardless of the text not being a breakup text, it still felt in a way as one.  I can't imagine ever receiving information via a text that a relationship has ended - nor can I imagine being so heartless to do that to someone else.

Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a break up text?  How did you feel after?

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