Reflection

Reflective vs. Reflection...I'm sitting here pondering the difference. I could blog about my random thoughts on both until I'm blue in the face...seriously, I have issues. So fortunately, I won't.

The past couple days I've been quite reflective. In being reflective it makes me think about my reflection. It makes me ponder how true a reflection is to oneself. Likewise, how accurate our thoughts and images truly are to our true self. Maybe they are one in the same, maybe they aren't. I don't have any answers.

No answers...that seems to be a constant for me lately. I don't know the answers. Nothing jumps out at me in black and white. Nothing seems to be an easy answer. I wish it were so simple.

It's pretty much always that I over analyze. I seriously don't know why I am not permanently blue in the face. Friends tell me I think too much. When I think I've thought too much, I think again. It really is that bad.

Maybe there is medication to cure one from thinking, not in an ADD/ADHD type of way or in an illegal drug type of way to forget but in a way to live the moment, to go with the flow, to just be. Maybe that drug is life.

How does one stop thinking and start living without being completely impulsive and incompetent? Maybe I should think about this more.

I have found myself to reflect on who I am, where I am, what I am and where I want to be. I wish my life were like a drive-in movie theater that I could pull up and watch and see what the next scene is going to be. Maybe I truly don't want it that predictable, but it would be nice to know the ramifications and outcomes of actions before making decisions. I still don't have any answers. I even found myself reflecting on this blog and posts over the past six months into feelings and emotions. Almost like a path to the not so distant past of how a mind meanders through time.

While I think a lot on my own, frequent discussions with friends, family, co-workers as well as watching a few movies has me pondering all the more.

If you really know what you want, would you jump in with both feet? How do you really know what you want?

If you really know what you don't want, would you flee at first sight? How do you really know it isn't what you want or need?


I would say in every aspect of my life, I think too much. Maybe I haven't always, which now leaves me thinking more than necessary. Maybe it's the life I've led, the things I've seen, the mistakes I don't want to repeat.

Maybe what it boils down to is...I just don't have the answers, reflections or not.