Helpless: Dilation

This morning I had an eye appointment. For those that may follow my blog or know me, you know I have serious eye issues. In summary, I had RK on one eye back in 1992. Since then, I have battled craziness, blurred vision, instability, independence (eyes do not work together) to name a few. I'm not a fan of eye doctors to say the least. Lasik is not an option on the eye that has not had surgery as my vision is so poor, it would help but not eliminate the need for corrective lens. I deal with it. Is what it is. The non-surgical enhanced eye is healthy though the vision is so poor, it is correctable, for now.

Needless to say, going to the eye doctor is a mere joke in so many ways. "Like this, or like that?" This - but I really mean the second one, so should I say that? Bottomline, no options from A and B, 1 and 2, this or that, make the blurriness, the haziness, the halos disappear. I focus hard on whether the letters change - get better or worse, they seldom do. They all look bad. Again, I feel like a failure, that I failed the eye test. But in reality, they do all look the same, crappy and I told the doctor so.

Today he recommended a gas permeable lens with a "skirt". Ah, doesn't that sound feminine? Of course, there is no assurance that it will actually help my vision or make it less blurry. For a $200 trial fee, I can try it. Then if I like it, it costs $1000 for two of them that last six months each. So for $1200 a year, I may find a lens that may somewhat enhance my clarity. May.

Anyway, my real issue today...dilation. The doctor asked if I wanted to have my eyes dilated. I am in one of those complacent moods, soft spoken, easy going, whatever moods. Sell me a burning bridge and I'll be the first rave about it, as long as you said it was a good deal and I need it. Ok, maybe that's not completely true since I didn't want to try the gas permeable. Anyhow...he said he wanted to look into my eyes and asked if I was OK with them being dilated. If he says he needs to, sobeit right? What's another eye drop after the iodine? Or not.

I guess I forgot what the after math of dilation entails. Immediately my eyes started to tighten, itch, water and become very uncomfortable. I asked the girl that orders the lenses how long it would last and if it would get worse. Yes and the vision will be affected for...4-6 HOURS.

WHAT? Today I have so much to do at work to get prepared for my first teaching class tomorrow. Today is the worst day possible. She basically said, "You won't be able to read any fine print." WHAT?

I had to swing by another agency and drop something off. I also had to get an attendance sheet for the training. I couldn't read it. I couldn't read material I was referencing in the training book. I couldn't read a lot.

I noticed when I got back to my office to make copies of the attendance sheet that I thought it said "February 20". I asked my old Supervisor for assistance on what it said and she said, "Fucking C, I don't know what FCN stands for." What? Clearly she was messing with me and when I explained that I couldn't see it, she empathized, apologized and confirmed that in fact there was a February date on the sign in. Since then, I have had difficulty reading any emails, seeing any fine print.

I had to make changes to the attendance sheet in excel. I wanted to change the font, the format, the print, the boxes, the header, etc. Probably not a good day to do it! I know how to navigate excel but not without being able to read the drop downs. I had to ask a co-worker for assistance, twice. I went to make copies on the copier and somehow ended up with a screen that I have never seen. I couldn't clear it or cancel it. I asked a third person for assistance - one who over heard the conversation with my old boss who just laughed. Then she admitted that she didn't know what I hit on the copier and how to clear it. The solution? Turn it off and turn it back on. She asked if I could find the start button. Sigh.

It is going to be a very long and trying day. I'm not used to asking for help and this is clearly making me branch out to ask. It also makes me feel completely incompetent.

My boss noticed immediately something about my eyes when I walked in his office to get a Post-it Table Top Pad. He asked what was going on. I told him. I also told him I may need to take the rest of the afternoon off. While I have a lot to do, I can't see things to get it done right. Fortunately I can type without looking at the keys and far enough from the screen, I can see OK.

Happy Friday everyone. I can only hope that time passes quickly. I have a wall sheet I have to make but at this point I still can't see the writing that I need to write on the Easel.

Long day indeed...