Surprises

Lately I've been pondering "surprises" a lot. I can't say that I'm a fan of being "surprised". I do think at times that I can be spontaneous, but I'm a planner by nature. I over analyze everything and I have to make sure that all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted.

I find that especially in new dating relationships, that surprises seem to always be an issue. I think if I were informed of all of the details I would be OK with not knowing (or maybe not). Last weekend I was asked out for Saturday afternoon. Plans were unbeknownst to me. I struggled with timing, attire, etc. for days. Finally, I just had to ask and get the details. I would have been completely inappropriate in my clothing option as I had thought from the clues that it was an outdoor activity, when in fact wearing warm clothes was only for walking from a parking structure inside a building!

There have been two significant times that I recall ever "surprising" someone. One was almost a decade ago...I was dating someone across the state and decided to drive over for a visit. I was greeted at the door by a frown and a "What are YOU doing here?" I don't even think he asked me in. He told me that he had studying to do and that I wasn't invited, although I was his girlfriend. Was. I left and never looked back. Not to say that I wasn't hurt and disappointed and feeling like the real dumbass I had become. Several years ago, healed from the pain of the first instance, I had purchased a birthday gift for the guy I had been seeing. He told me he had to head out of town for the evening. I decided to drive over to his place and leave the gift at his door, thinking it was a nice gesture of thoughtfulness. Wrong. To my surprise, he was home as well as had company. So as not to have injured pride, I still took the gift to the house (sans gift certificate) and placed it at the back door. Apparently someone in the house saw me and he came out. I was devastated. I wished him a happy birthday and walked away. Needless to say, he called me half a dozen times and even came to my house later. The relationship was done.

While those two surprises offered me insight into relationships that shouldn't have been, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I want to be spontaneous. I want to be surprised. How long does it take before one is willing to be susceptible to the ramifications of a surprise?

I guess it boils down to the old adage, if you don't want to know the truth or an answer, don't ask. But the reality, if people were honest and trustful, it wouldn't matter would it? Surprise me!