One of my biggest issues is planning. I can usually plan things pretty well, when they pertain to only me. I have serious issues when it comes to making plans involving other people.
Maybe it boils down to my ultimate fear of disappointment.
Last night, I found myself losing yet another bet. This one, to plan a date in three days. Simple enough, right? Right, if you were anyone but ME.
I seriously racked my brain for an hour. I went online and searched ideas and happenings around the area. I've considered ridiculous dates that would further prevent such anxiety ridden bets in the future - what guy wouldn't want joint manicure, pedicure and tanning sessions?
He did tell me that the date could be about me. It could be something I've always wanted to do, something he would want to do, or anything in between. Great.
So I've gone from the boring to the extreme to everything in between. I seriously wouldn't have had an issue with just saying, "Hey do you want to get together for...on....?" But the pressure and the additional stress of having to fulfill a bet and impress?
I know it shouldn't be this serious. I even shared with him my first 100 options, which I think he spent the majority of the conversation laughing at me!
Why are somethings so ultimately easy while others are so painstakingly difficult?
To boot, I'm finding that I'm constantly itching and broken out in some type of rash or hives, it must be anxiety (honestly - I think it's an allergic reaction to my non-New Years resolution to use lotion to alleviate dry skin and I'm breaking out to the non-allergenic, fragrance free Eucerin - How does that happen???). It just sounds better to say that it's anxiety related.
Oh, and then I just received a call that my son's dad has to go out of town, so our date night won't be happening anyway. How do I try to explain that I'm not bailing on my responsibility of owning up to a loss bet?
What's worse, how in the world can I function until we reschedule when my thoughts are racked by this "date"?
Prozac....here I come!
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