Friday, December 5, 2008

Awkward & Best Friend

My son's latest craze of a word, "awkward". Everything is awkward.

My mom is one of my best friends, without any hesitation of the word. Clearly we have our disagreements, as all friends do. My mom is outgoing, even in the most awkward of situations, whereas I am not. My mom will talk to anyone, anywhere.

This week I actually learned of my father's family Christmas party. My parents were married for 21 years and divorced sometime after my senior year in high school, over 15 years ago. Since their divorce, my annual attendance at the family Christmas party has been almost non-existent. I can tell you I've been less than a handful of times, that I do know. I can also say that I've taken my son once to my knowledge, which was several years ago.

Obviously, I am not close with my dad's family. Outside of the annual Christmas party, I have had little contact. Not even the occasional wedding or funeral. And, I feel bad about this. As a teenager I recall talking to one of my much older cousins and saying, "Who is that? Who is that?" Now that my relatives have married, divorced, remarried and added slews of children, I know even less than the few that I did know. And for me...this is the epitome of awkward.

But, I also know that unless I make an effort to reacquaint myself with my father's family, I will never know them, my son will never know them. I've accepted the fact that I will never know which generation of cousins removed they are, but knowing them at all is the first step. Baby steps.

Years ago when I went to the last Christmas Party, when I wasn't hiding in the corner being shy, my relatives that I knew did inquire about my mom. Like almost everyone, they love my mom. And, I wouldn't hesitate to say that love is an over exaggeration. Ok, maybe they don't love her, but there is a general "like" which might even be stronger than love.

So what did I do? I invited my mom (err one of my best friends) to attend the Christmas party with my son and I. My dad and his wife won't be there, nor will my aunt that I talk to via email.

Is that awkward?

***Update - the snow Gods have better plans that will keep us home bound from the 3 hour plus trek across state for the party.

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