Monday, April 12, 2010

Communication & Cancer

My son's dad, still refuses to communicate with me. He finally spoke with our son about what was going on with him, prior to his surgery. My son called me and said, "I KNOW! I KNOW! DAD HAS A TUMOR IN HIS BUTT!"

What in the world does that mean? A tumor in his butt? Something that his dad told me on the phone was cancer that wouldn't require chemo or radiation but would leave a big hole where a chunk would be removed. A tumor in his butt? Was that his way of communicating to our 13-year old son at his level? Seriously? He's an extremely intelligent, inquisitive 7th grader, he isn't FOUR! Is it prostate cancer? Is it truly a "tumor in his butt"?

Needless to say, that's all that was communicated to me - from my son, or his father. My son didn't go to two baseball practices the week of spring break when he was with his dad. He wasn't told it was because his dad was too ill or couldn't drive. Nope, it was because his dad had a pancake breakfast at work and then the basketball championship was the other night (which was AFTER practice - and coincidentally my son had to go to bed with 10 minutes left in the game!!!!!!). I later learned that even being an "Assistant Coach" he didn't bother to call the coach and say that our son (or him) wasn't going to be at practice. Nothing.

The day of the surgery, was the day that I arrived portside in Florida. I called my son about 8:30a.m. Apparently his dad left for the hospital at 4:30a.m. and he was home alone. He had a ton of food and would be there until his step-mom picked him up at 9:00. NINE IN THE EVENING! The plan was that she would return our son back to his dad's house in the morning where he would await my arrival sometime that afternoon. Good plan?

Fortunately I had talked with JA about the possibility of T staying with her that night if in fact he had surgery that day. She was willing to have him. Then I figured he could stay with her or walk home the next day. T was willing to go, but not that I gave him much of a choice. Sure, T stays home during days off and the summer when we work (8-5:30p.m.) but NOT 4:30a.m.-9:00p.m.! I really had an issue with this. How could I be sure that woman, his wife who lives in a different home, would pick up my son? What if she didn't?

Everything worked out fine. My son heard from his dad the day of the surgery as well as yesterday. He is apparently home, not a week later, but just 2.5 days later. He's alive. My son said he will be recovering for two months. What does that mean? If it was a tumor in his ass then I would assume the last thing he should do is be sitting on it for two months! (Did I really just type that?) As for anything else, I have no idea. Other than according to my son, he won't be exercising his parenting time tonight and who knows when he will.

Why in the world would I be privy to that information?

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