Interview

Yesterday I had my first interview, in well a couple years. I'm truly not a fan of interviews and there are seldom jobs that I have enough interest in even applying for. If I feel that I'm not qualified or not interested enough, I don't apply.

The job is an internal position and one that I've considered an option for a job change over the last few years. The past two times the job was available, the vacancy was never posted. My employer interviews using Behavioral Based Interviewing (BBI). The last interview I did which was BBI, I massacred the interview so well, I was afraid to return back to my office or show my face! The BBI interview uses the STAR format Situation/Task, Action, Result. For every question you have to answer by explaining a situation or task, the action that you used and the result. This form of interviewing is very impersonal and doesn't allow for candid conversation or expression. Needless to say, I struggled like a fish out of water, gasping, flapping, humiliated...the constant repeating of the process and how I was suppose to respond with the repeating of the question was just additional salt in each sweaty porous vein of my being. I can't recall anything much worse, regardless of all the worse things I've experienced, none that were so incomprehensible, downright failure with the only light at the end of the tunnel was that I was able to slither out of the interview room with my head hung low, only to confirm that the position that was slated for another was confirmed by my disastrous attempt to interview.

So years later, I found myself applying for another position. I wish that I could say that I was stronger and wiser and ready to tackle BBI head on. I did do some internet searching and watched a video demonstration of the interviewing examples and skills. Regardless, that cold prickly feeling on my skin, the ball in my throat and the increasing rise of my previous meal climbing upward to present itself in different form could not be alleviated. But somethings, just have to be done. I can't always shy away from my fears and if it's something that you want, sitting back and doing nothing isn't going to get it.

Fortunately, I learned that the interview would include only the top three high seniority candidates. Additionally, the interview process would not be BBI! But, the interviews were scheduled 20 minutes apart, clearly giving the impression that the person for the position had already been chosen and the interviews were merely a formality, a politically correct way of going through the motions to later say, "Thanks, but no thanks..."

The interview included one question (although several follow up questions were asked): Explain in 15 minutes why you want the job and why you are the best candidate?

Easy enough. And honestly, it really was. The most awkward part of the interview, I was sitting on the other side of a desk (In the Managers chair) while the panel of three management looked at me!

I finished the interview. I survived. I gave it my all and it's out of my hands. If someone else is the better candidate, so be it! That I can live with!