Dating

As most of you are aware, I may have a little experience with dating. I joke that I'm an excellent first dater, but I really do believe it's true. It's all the rest that come after that where I have difficulty! But this blog isn't about my dating.

My son turned 13 earlier this year. Tomorrow he will graduate from 7th grade and officially become an 8th grader. His school will be adjacent to the high school. Big League! I didn't have my first "group" date or solo date until I was...fifteen.

This morning I was on FB and was updating my account with the new privacy website feature. Instead of having my son do his as well, I quickly logged on to his account to disable his as well.

I'm not the most meddling of mom's by any means. I trust him enough to do his homework. He's an all A student, so I have no reason not to. I don't have access to the school portal, I've only ever communicated by email with one of his teachers and that was in response to scheduling conferences. I'm very open with my son - numerous times we've had the "sex talk". I don't look through his book bag. I am however nervous now that he is thirteen about how he will fill his summer, sans daycare.

Last Friday night, the neighbor had a handful of girls staying the night. My son was shooting hoops and the harem of girls came over to play and talk. He then went to the park and two neighbor boys joined in the group. He came in the house at 11p.m. I was just about to call him in, but I was actually pretty excited about him actually engaging with kids around the neighborhood without my prodding! He had to be up at 7:15a.m. for a baseball game, so I was letting him deal with the ramifications of his actions. After the game, he napped for two hours, he was so exhausted!

On FB, he became friends with RUR's daughter. When he first joined he asked if he should. Since RUR and I dated briefly, the kids did meet, but they didn't really know each other as they attend different schools. Until the fall that is...on several occasions, they will be on FB chat. I don't ask questions. If he wants to talk about anything, he always can.

So this morning, I looked in his inbox of messages. There were some emails with someone, that I believe is a female, but I didn't actually verify it. Both first and middle names are neutral names that can go either way. The conversation was initiated by the other person with the topic being RUR's daughter, Friday and the beach. My son commented that he has never dated and his dad never lets him have anyone over (although he could say that about his mom too - although I WANT him to have people over, he chooses not to. Maybe that has something to do with his "LIKE"ing "My mom is crazy" on FB, or maybe not!). He went on in another response to say that his mom and her dad dated and that may be weird, but he doesn't care. So I have no idea if he doesn't care about liking her, doesn't care that their parents dated, doesn't care about what?

How does one handle this? RUR and I still occasionally talk. I'm struggling with whether or not to bring it up to my son which would then acknowledge I was on his FB page or to contact RUR to get his take. But then again, I don't want to meddle, but I also think she's a good kid and has good parents, so why not offer to make it easier - drop off here or there, rather than them doing something without parental awareness? Is that enabling?

When is he going to be 18, graduated and out of the house? Kids dating...the do's and don'ts...any advice?