My son and I have a very good relationship. I don't expect or anticipate our relationship will be the same forever. Our relationship will change and evolve and decompensate and evolve and well who knows exactly what will happen, since afterall my crystal ball is quite cloudy.
But today, I had to smile when I looked at his Facebook profile (disregarding the spelling and minimization of his actual intelligence to be "cool"): Born and raised as a Michigan boy. I am and was active in about every sport i could be in. Chose football over soccer when i couldn't play both. Then I got sick of losing all the time and switched to soccer. I have played baseball since I was 6, and i love it. Made the all stars every year I played at xxxxxxxxx. (6) I love playing basketball night and day since I was in 5th grade. I have loved taking vacations with my mom since I was a little kid. Good times
Yes, definitely good times. Good times indeed. Can't wait for our Arizona Adventure...
Monday, August 9, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Online Travel Headaches
I feel like I'm going through menopause, the lack of air conditioning definitely has something to do with it! I'm perspiring just breathing which is clearly exacerbated by making and securing decisions that involve credit card purchases and "done deals" that aren't easily changed.
I had left two messages for my son's father in regard to the ability to change weekends so my son and I could go to the Grand Canyon. No response. Finally, slightly more than an hour ago, I received an email from him that said that we could go, if his mom could have him the previous weekend at a time TBD AND I would get my son on Saturday instead of Sunday, the day we leave. Details...
Then I realized that in fact my son's father wasn't responding to my email or my telephone messages, he was responding to my son's email, with the subject "vaction" and the entire email, "Can I go to Arizona pleeeeeaaaasssssseeeee". Sometimes I'm baffled that my son is thirteen, really.
I had looked this morning and the flight had gone up an extra $50 per person. With the last minute timeshare, there were a few new availabilities that opened up for Saturday - Saturday which meant we didn't miss out on a day and require an additional night somewhere else! So sometimes things work out. When I finally booked the condo, I then booked the airfare and it was only $25 more additional! Bonus.
I decided not to opt for the "flight-car" combo thinking I could get a better deal through Priceline.com. My price was approved and I ended up saving $27 with a mid-size car instead of the economy equivalent.
Until...I realized that the airport I was flying into was NOT the same as where the car rental was. Both in Phoenix, but different airport codes. I contacted Priceline and they agreed to cancel my car rental if I rebooked. I talked with two people and asked how could I rebook a car in a location they didn't have? They canceled the reservation and I hope they won't charge me again as I can't rebook.
I then went back into my itinerary for my flight and added a car rental. For $27 more, it was well worth the piece of mind. Granted the confirmation doesn't show the airport location or any other details, but since it's connected to the reservation and booking, it must be the same (Fingers crossed!)!
Now it's just a matter of logistics of figuring out the details of the day changes with my son's father and getting my son in time to prepare to leave. I'm guessing I will be doing last minute laundry for sure!
I can't believe it - I will be visiting the Grand Canyon in August 2010! Isn't life Grand?
What are you happy about? What has made your day, month, year?
I had left two messages for my son's father in regard to the ability to change weekends so my son and I could go to the Grand Canyon. No response. Finally, slightly more than an hour ago, I received an email from him that said that we could go, if his mom could have him the previous weekend at a time TBD AND I would get my son on Saturday instead of Sunday, the day we leave. Details...
Then I realized that in fact my son's father wasn't responding to my email or my telephone messages, he was responding to my son's email, with the subject "vaction" and the entire email, "Can I go to Arizona pleeeeeaaaasssssseeeee". Sometimes I'm baffled that my son is thirteen, really.
I had looked this morning and the flight had gone up an extra $50 per person. With the last minute timeshare, there were a few new availabilities that opened up for Saturday - Saturday which meant we didn't miss out on a day and require an additional night somewhere else! So sometimes things work out. When I finally booked the condo, I then booked the airfare and it was only $25 more additional! Bonus.
I decided not to opt for the "flight-car" combo thinking I could get a better deal through Priceline.com. My price was approved and I ended up saving $27 with a mid-size car instead of the economy equivalent.
Until...I realized that the airport I was flying into was NOT the same as where the car rental was. Both in Phoenix, but different airport codes. I contacted Priceline and they agreed to cancel my car rental if I rebooked. I talked with two people and asked how could I rebook a car in a location they didn't have? They canceled the reservation and I hope they won't charge me again as I can't rebook.
I then went back into my itinerary for my flight and added a car rental. For $27 more, it was well worth the piece of mind. Granted the confirmation doesn't show the airport location or any other details, but since it's connected to the reservation and booking, it must be the same (Fingers crossed!)!
Now it's just a matter of logistics of figuring out the details of the day changes with my son's father and getting my son in time to prepare to leave. I'm guessing I will be doing last minute laundry for sure!
I can't believe it - I will be visiting the Grand Canyon in August 2010! Isn't life Grand?
What are you happy about? What has made your day, month, year?
Dating Insight
Last week I went on a first date. I had spoken with the man once on the phone before meeting. My motto, why waste/invest time getting to know someone if there isn't any chemistry or connection? I don't know about you, but I just don't have the time, energy or motivation (and as I used to hear as a child, to meet "every Tom, Dick and Harry"). In my case, I'm really OK if I don't meet Tom, Dick or Harry. Besides, it seems far too often, that the people that can communicate by email, hide behind the anonymity of a computer.
The date in retrospect was bizarre. I actually did some research on autism and Aspergers because some of his personal communication was so odd, I needed to compare his characteristics and traits.
Several things that stood out from any other first meeting: He asked me, "Do other people interrupt you a lot? I just don't know when it's my turn to talk and I feel like I'm interrupting." Granted, I can talk. A LOT. However, I usually do so if I'm nervous or excited, which I wasn't either. Other times, I will do so to fill the void or when I'm telling a story. When I explained that I felt communication was a two-way street, he didn't seem to understand. He also seemed to be very focused on the time and verbalization of money.
One other bizarre thing was that while we were walking on a trail in the woods, we came to a clearing. He said, "Would you walk 20 feet in front of me (giving me the hand signal to go ahead of him)." My first thought was that he wanted to check out my butt and I was offended. I inquired as to why and he just said "Never mind, I'll tell you about it at a later date." Immediately the next thought I had, "OMG, this guy has to F-A-R-T!".
One of the things from our "One and Only" (besides the fact that I tried to kill him by wanting to rollerblade 10+ miles) was he asked, "Besides honesty, what is the ONE thing you are looking for in a guy/relationship."
One thing? Just one thing? Of course I couldn't stop at one thing. Obviously there is respect, communication, chemistry...so in trying to joke I said, "the package, but not THE PACKAGE, but the whole package".
I can't let things go. I continued to think about the question as we rollerbladed on and he struggled to make excuses for his old blades, the fact he was at the gym in the morning, the fact his calves were killing, the fact that he was becoming short of breath...and I wondered if this man was going to make it.
What I came up with...A CHALLENGE.
The one thing I seek for and want to find in a successful relationship is a challenge. I want to find someone that challenges me more than I challenge myself. Someone that challenges me to be a better person - emotionally, physically, maybe even spiritually.
His response, "I can't challenge you emotionally or physically, but I can challenge you financially."
This was the fourth time in less than 24 hours of our first phone call that he had thrown out financial. He boasted about paying down $20,000 worth of debt in one-year; however, he had a live-in evening job caretaking for a paraplegic that paid his rent and bills and gave him $100 month income. His only bills were his cell phone, his car payment and dating. His reported his daytime income was $50-60k. He hadn't been able to save over the past year with his living situation but felt that with his reduced debt, he would soon begin. He felt that if he didn't date, he would be financially further, but he choose to live.
I asked him How. How would he challenge me financially? What advice could he offer? What did he suggest? Is Dave Ramsey his new best friend?
He couldn't answer any of the questions, other than he just did it. At this point, I may have actually offered some of my own insight (because arrogance without cause is just unattractive and I knew this date was likely the last), as I choose not to discuss my financial situation with others, especially early on. I looked at him as we continued to skate, he was gasping for breath, and I said, "I'm a few points shy of an 800 credit score. So how exactly can you challenge me financially?"
It was the first time he was speechless. He stopped gasping for breath but fortunately for me, he didn't turn blue. Ah, first dates...
What is the one thing that you look for/require in a partner, significant other, relationship?
The date in retrospect was bizarre. I actually did some research on autism and Aspergers because some of his personal communication was so odd, I needed to compare his characteristics and traits.
Several things that stood out from any other first meeting: He asked me, "Do other people interrupt you a lot? I just don't know when it's my turn to talk and I feel like I'm interrupting." Granted, I can talk. A LOT. However, I usually do so if I'm nervous or excited, which I wasn't either. Other times, I will do so to fill the void or when I'm telling a story. When I explained that I felt communication was a two-way street, he didn't seem to understand. He also seemed to be very focused on the time and verbalization of money.
One other bizarre thing was that while we were walking on a trail in the woods, we came to a clearing. He said, "Would you walk 20 feet in front of me (giving me the hand signal to go ahead of him)." My first thought was that he wanted to check out my butt and I was offended. I inquired as to why and he just said "Never mind, I'll tell you about it at a later date." Immediately the next thought I had, "OMG, this guy has to F-A-R-T!".
One of the things from our "One and Only" (besides the fact that I tried to kill him by wanting to rollerblade 10+ miles) was he asked, "Besides honesty, what is the ONE thing you are looking for in a guy/relationship."
One thing? Just one thing? Of course I couldn't stop at one thing. Obviously there is respect, communication, chemistry...so in trying to joke I said, "the package, but not THE PACKAGE, but the whole package".
I can't let things go. I continued to think about the question as we rollerbladed on and he struggled to make excuses for his old blades, the fact he was at the gym in the morning, the fact his calves were killing, the fact that he was becoming short of breath...and I wondered if this man was going to make it.
What I came up with...A CHALLENGE.
The one thing I seek for and want to find in a successful relationship is a challenge. I want to find someone that challenges me more than I challenge myself. Someone that challenges me to be a better person - emotionally, physically, maybe even spiritually.
His response, "I can't challenge you emotionally or physically, but I can challenge you financially."
This was the fourth time in less than 24 hours of our first phone call that he had thrown out financial. He boasted about paying down $20,000 worth of debt in one-year; however, he had a live-in evening job caretaking for a paraplegic that paid his rent and bills and gave him $100 month income. His only bills were his cell phone, his car payment and dating. His reported his daytime income was $50-60k. He hadn't been able to save over the past year with his living situation but felt that with his reduced debt, he would soon begin. He felt that if he didn't date, he would be financially further, but he choose to live.
I asked him How. How would he challenge me financially? What advice could he offer? What did he suggest? Is Dave Ramsey his new best friend?
He couldn't answer any of the questions, other than he just did it. At this point, I may have actually offered some of my own insight (because arrogance without cause is just unattractive and I knew this date was likely the last), as I choose not to discuss my financial situation with others, especially early on. I looked at him as we continued to skate, he was gasping for breath, and I said, "I'm a few points shy of an 800 credit score. So how exactly can you challenge me financially?"
It was the first time he was speechless. He stopped gasping for breath but fortunately for me, he didn't turn blue. Ah, first dates...
What is the one thing that you look for/require in a partner, significant other, relationship?
Simple Pleasures...The Dollar Store
I LOVE the Dollar Tree store. "LOVE" may be a strong word, but I think completely appropriate. I really can't stand shopping. I shop out of necessity: I need groceries, I need a new shower curtain (seriously!), I need an outfit, I need home improvement things...You will seldom find me window shopping or just meandering around any store aimlessly without a purpose. Granted, to the onlooker, it may look that way, but I always have a reason, it's just sometimes I forget what brought me into the store in the first place.
I LOVE the Dollar Tree because, I have a few spare dollars. I would almost dare to say, "Who doesn't?", but I know that answer. I really do.
My favorite dollar store purchase: "Allergy": An off-brand equivalent to Benadryl Ultratab, antihistamine. A little pink allergy pill. They come in either a package or a bottle ranging from 24-36 tablets, for $1. A Dollar. I buy several at a time and keep them at work, in the junk drawer, in the linen closet, in the car, in my bag, everywhere. They work fabulously when the allergies kick in when I'm unexpectedly around cats, crazy perfume/cologne doused individuals or I find myself around flowers/cut grass/hay. And did I mention, the convenience of non-Kleenex requirements for the price of $1?
Of course there are other random things that I enjoy at the dollar store. Another is the two sided sponge. The yellow sponge with the green scrubby. Love them! I use them to do the dishes and they last long enough to be effective but not long enough that if I was a germaphobe that I would be concerned. I replace them very often because afterall you can get anywhere from 6-12 of them for $1.
I've also found that I love to purchase lip gloss or lip stick at the dollar store. The dollar store that I go to carries Sally Hansen lipstick. I'm not a big lipstick fan and I hate the idea of spending anywhere from $6-15 or more for a single lipstick. And usually I have no idea if I will like the color or worse yet, the texture, the smell or the taste! So for $1, I don't really care if I like it and if I do...BONUS! Besides in the summer Michigan heat, I find that my lipsticks often morph into some conglomerate mess and then I'm really bummed that I finally invested and bought it! So yesterday, I scored with three new lipsticks and I've tried two and love them! I also picked up another chapstick/balm - chocolate chip cookie flavored. How can you go wrong with something as yummy as that? I have a Hot Fudge Sundae lip gloss that I had purchased a while ago at Bath and Body Works that I like, but the downfall, it's brown and messy. So unless I have a mirror, I end up with it everywhere, seriously I am that good!
What is your favorite dollar store purchase?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Grand Canyon
My son's dad and I each have two weeks of parenting time with our son during the summer, which we are suppose to identify those weeks by May 1, 2010. He hasn't exercised those weeks, in years, but this year he notified me of two weeks. Subsequently I picked the weeks in between his two weeks. Whatever.
One of the weeks, my son will spend with my parents. I will be with him part of the time and allow him ample time with just the grandparents. The other week, I hope to find somewhere to go for vacation. This morning I started looking for options through my timeshare.
Last minute availability for my timeshare will provide a week in Scottsdale Arizona, BUT the week begins on a Friday. A Friday that would have normally been my weekend, but it is a week he is with his dad. A great direct flight is available Saturday - Saturday. So we would arrive a day later and pick up a night in a hotel on the tail end. I can almost taste the air of the Grand Canyon...stifling hot in the dead heat of August, but so close to fulfilling another one of my wants.
I called my son's dad this morning to see if we could change weekends or something. He said that he has plans for our son to be with his grandparents. I offered to transport my son to them the weekend before. I'm basically offering anything! To be sure he understood the conversation, I emailed him the details, which he responded...that he gets the week vacation but weekends are still with the scheduled parents. NO.
He really has no idea about the parenting time. He switched at the last minute, a week that my son was primarily with me. Which so happened to be the weekend that I was chaperoning three 13-year old boys in a hotel room for the weekend, because afterall it was my weekend. So I said that he could have him for the week, but it was my weekend - I surely wasn't going to chaperone if my son wasn't with me!
Now I wait. I wait for him to call me. I wait to see if he will be nice enough to change a weekend with me to allow my son and I to go to Scottsdale Arizona and take a day trip to see the Grand Canyon. I'm willing to offer him almost anything! This could be a once in a lifetime experience, especially with my 13-year old son (when he still likes me).
I hate being at someone else's mercy. I hate not having control.
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