I haven't been entirely happy with my job. I am tired of my Flavor of the Day Supervisors. I am tired of being the worker and position that is treated as the Evil Stepsister.
But ultimately...I AM BORED.
Today, posted in our office was a job position. A position that I completed my college internship in 1995. I am sure that the job has changed as well as what I actually was capable of doing as an intern vs. an employee. I am considering putting my name on the posting.
While I love my job, when I am busy, I see very little work on the horizon. I will be cross trained for 3.5 weeks during April/May for another position. The new position is a new allocation due to caseload size. I would LOVE to be busy. I can even accept the $1000 pay cut as my sanity of having work to do is worth far more than a monetary value. I'm just not sure. I feel some obligation to my families. Afterall though, it's just a job, right?
Isn't what is important is that I am happy? What ultimately will make me happy? Workwise, I know that having a job that keeps me busy and challenged will. Another co-worker recently changed jobs into that position and I plan on talking to her to see what she really thinks.
I know I have only been in my current position for 1.5 years, but I am not sure how many other opportunities for this current position will present themselves.
Maybe this is a sign...a sign of the times...a sign of change...
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Friday, November 19, 2010
Cookie Irony
I've been terribly busy at work. I have been working every late night possible and a few extras as well. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, the reprieve around the holidays, almost. Last week, a day that our office was closed, I found myself working to accommodate a family. A family that has been nothing but difficult.
The moment after I knocked on the door, it was sprung open and loudly I was greeted with the fact that the woman had "over booked" and had to race out soon with two of the youth. She hovered while I tried to do my job and meet (interview) the youth individually. General conversations. She sat for about ten minutes with me and her husband before she had to bolt. I finished up the visit with the husband and left. I tried to address several of the serious concerns we (workers & myself) have with the family. I felt that I was appropriate and non-confrontational. Apparently, I wasn't.
Today I managed to do everything I could possible and procrastinated writing the report from my visit. I would write it after my lunch with MS. Lunch was pleasant and always good to see MS. He followed me after lunch as I showed him how to get to the local home improvement store and I made a mad dash into Subway to get three cookies. I was craving cookies - sugar/chocolate - something awful! I ate two on the drive back to my office.
In sorting through my notes and information to prepare my report, I noticed I had made a mistake. It had only been 10 months since I had been to the home, not a year as the first visit was "late". Therefore, I didn't realize that a video I can count for training, I had counted for the previous review. I called to inform the family that they needed six hours of training, not the four that I had thought and why. The woman went off on me about how she was sick and didn't want to discuss things now, but went on to say that she has issues with how I address things in the family. Apparently, "all hell broke loose" after I left the home. And apparently, by engaging their adult son in conversation (while the mom hovered around the corner outside the room eavesdropping) about his plans to join the military - that meant that I said he was not welcome in the home. That by restating to the family a rule of reporting within one business day any change in household composition, that enforced that her son was not welcome in the home (despite being informed in August that he would be joining the military in January/February and I was discussing the process). She went on beyond that (which I won't go into details)...to summarize that I don't do my job well and she had previously asked someone for a meeting that never happened. Really? Why not ask ME for a meeting? Have I mentioned how much I am bothered by incompetence and dishonesty/liars?
I was beyond irritated. I decided I needed to leave the office and cool down. Writing an emotional report is never a good thing, especially when Supervision (even when I ask for criticism and appropriateness) only looks for a random word typo in a report. I took the rest of the day off. MS was still in town and we were able to hangout until time to head to my son's basketball game. I wasn't in the best of moods, but it was nice to have company, even if I wasn't very talkative. While driving to meet up with MS, I finished my third cookie (I am getting to the point!).
Tonight, I logged into my work email account. I had an email from the clerical support that opens the mail that I had received a package. A package of cookies from Mrs. Fields! I have absolutely NO idea who they are from or why. If I had to guess, I have two people in mind that may have sent them (although we are not allowed to receive vendor gifts), but I could be completely wrong. I doubt that it is a late birthday gift sent to my work.
Again, just another example of how things completely happen for a reason. I was craving cookies - I bought some out of the blue. I left work after a bad experience with a family and had I stayed, then I would have been there to receive my cookies (I was actually still in the office when they arrived too!). Good thing I didn't get them at the time...I'm sure I would have eaten every last crumb! But what a fabulous surprise when I least expect it and definitely could use it!
The moment after I knocked on the door, it was sprung open and loudly I was greeted with the fact that the woman had "over booked" and had to race out soon with two of the youth. She hovered while I tried to do my job and meet (interview) the youth individually. General conversations. She sat for about ten minutes with me and her husband before she had to bolt. I finished up the visit with the husband and left. I tried to address several of the serious concerns we (workers & myself) have with the family. I felt that I was appropriate and non-confrontational. Apparently, I wasn't.
Today I managed to do everything I could possible and procrastinated writing the report from my visit. I would write it after my lunch with MS. Lunch was pleasant and always good to see MS. He followed me after lunch as I showed him how to get to the local home improvement store and I made a mad dash into Subway to get three cookies. I was craving cookies - sugar/chocolate - something awful! I ate two on the drive back to my office.
In sorting through my notes and information to prepare my report, I noticed I had made a mistake. It had only been 10 months since I had been to the home, not a year as the first visit was "late". Therefore, I didn't realize that a video I can count for training, I had counted for the previous review. I called to inform the family that they needed six hours of training, not the four that I had thought and why. The woman went off on me about how she was sick and didn't want to discuss things now, but went on to say that she has issues with how I address things in the family. Apparently, "all hell broke loose" after I left the home. And apparently, by engaging their adult son in conversation (while the mom hovered around the corner outside the room eavesdropping) about his plans to join the military - that meant that I said he was not welcome in the home. That by restating to the family a rule of reporting within one business day any change in household composition, that enforced that her son was not welcome in the home (despite being informed in August that he would be joining the military in January/February and I was discussing the process). She went on beyond that (which I won't go into details)...to summarize that I don't do my job well and she had previously asked someone for a meeting that never happened. Really? Why not ask ME for a meeting? Have I mentioned how much I am bothered by incompetence and dishonesty/liars?
I was beyond irritated. I decided I needed to leave the office and cool down. Writing an emotional report is never a good thing, especially when Supervision (even when I ask for criticism and appropriateness) only looks for a random word typo in a report. I took the rest of the day off. MS was still in town and we were able to hangout until time to head to my son's basketball game. I wasn't in the best of moods, but it was nice to have company, even if I wasn't very talkative. While driving to meet up with MS, I finished my third cookie (I am getting to the point!).
Tonight, I logged into my work email account. I had an email from the clerical support that opens the mail that I had received a package. A package of cookies from Mrs. Fields! I have absolutely NO idea who they are from or why. If I had to guess, I have two people in mind that may have sent them (although we are not allowed to receive vendor gifts), but I could be completely wrong. I doubt that it is a late birthday gift sent to my work.
Again, just another example of how things completely happen for a reason. I was craving cookies - I bought some out of the blue. I left work after a bad experience with a family and had I stayed, then I would have been there to receive my cookies (I was actually still in the office when they arrived too!). Good thing I didn't get them at the time...I'm sure I would have eaten every last crumb! But what a fabulous surprise when I least expect it and definitely could use it!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Timing & Timeframes
Right now is one of the busiest times of year for me. I have a lot of yearly evaluations to complete in a timely manner while dealing with the holidays and others schedules. Additionally, my ability to work nights is restricted due to hunting season for the next week and then Thanksgiving week.
At the beginning of November, I was finding that to complete Orientations in the evening with new families, for the first time EVER, I would be scheduling out to December. CRAZY. Doesn't bode well for the over achiever A personality, but I can't make schedules and times that don't exist! Fortunately, I have been able to juggle most everything somehow or another. I've managed to throw in the blanket on the tie blankets after making almost 20! I have been doing so many renewals that I have three reports yet to complete - which I hope to have done by the end of the week at the very latest, although I don't actually have deadlines other than my own self-inflicted ones!
In working with a family, they have one year to complete the licensing process. ONE. YEAR. Or...TWELVE. MONTHS. As a reminder, I had all my information completed in less than two, if that. One family I began working with last October, was having difficulty with the paperwork and doing some home improvements in their newly acquired home. They would email me initially every 1.5 months to say they were still interested in the process. Then I didn't hear from them for four months. Then in June, I receive an email that they are still very interested and what do they need to do. I email the wife back and tell her. No response.
That is, until TONIGHT. Almost five months later. She and her husband are still working on the paperwork and they need more prepaid return envelopes. Unfortunately for them, or for me, or for Uncle Sam or who knows who, their year, ended in October. Their enrollment is closed.
Technically I should complete another Orientation. Personally, I don't know why, since I can't imagine they will ever complete the entire process before I retire! I just can't imagine. I understand that life happens; however, in this line of work, timeliness and communication are a necessity! I can't imagine how long a return phone call would take if I called them for a placement...
At the beginning of November, I was finding that to complete Orientations in the evening with new families, for the first time EVER, I would be scheduling out to December. CRAZY. Doesn't bode well for the over achiever A personality, but I can't make schedules and times that don't exist! Fortunately, I have been able to juggle most everything somehow or another. I've managed to throw in the blanket on the tie blankets after making almost 20! I have been doing so many renewals that I have three reports yet to complete - which I hope to have done by the end of the week at the very latest, although I don't actually have deadlines other than my own self-inflicted ones!
In working with a family, they have one year to complete the licensing process. ONE. YEAR. Or...TWELVE. MONTHS. As a reminder, I had all my information completed in less than two, if that. One family I began working with last October, was having difficulty with the paperwork and doing some home improvements in their newly acquired home. They would email me initially every 1.5 months to say they were still interested in the process. Then I didn't hear from them for four months. Then in June, I receive an email that they are still very interested and what do they need to do. I email the wife back and tell her. No response.
That is, until TONIGHT. Almost five months later. She and her husband are still working on the paperwork and they need more prepaid return envelopes. Unfortunately for them, or for me, or for Uncle Sam or who knows who, their year, ended in October. Their enrollment is closed.
Technically I should complete another Orientation. Personally, I don't know why, since I can't imagine they will ever complete the entire process before I retire! I just can't imagine. I understand that life happens; however, in this line of work, timeliness and communication are a necessity! I can't imagine how long a return phone call would take if I called them for a placement...
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Bandwidth & the Internet
I follow about 30 blogs. Of them, there are about 10 that I no longer have interest in reading; however, no matter how many times I try, I cannot delete myself from following. I follow the blogs in Google Reader and often read them throughout the day at work as well as Yahoo news.
I was recently informed that I am one of the top bandwidth users in my office. I was advised to immediately cease downloading movies, videos and music. I do not do any of those. I do however read blogs in Google Reader, check my yahoo email and follow the news. I was advised that anything "video" related uses bandwidth. All employees were advised to stop action and monitoring will be heightened.
As I value my job and the ability to pay my bills and maintain my lifestyle, I am ceasing all internet usage at the office unless work related. It is amazing how much time I try to kill when I don't have work, spending it online. I don't have internet access on my phone as I vowed I didn't want access 24/7 since I have a personal computer as well as internet access at work. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should as maintaining my job is far more income than the expenditure of internet on my phone per month! For now, I think that life will go on without frequent surfing of the internet. I'm not addicted to Facebook or blogs or even email, but I do wonder how I will pass the days of downtime while sitting at my desk. I've considered working out, but I can't get sweaty. I've considered reading, but the thought of getting "caught".
Any suggestions?
I was recently informed that I am one of the top bandwidth users in my office. I was advised to immediately cease downloading movies, videos and music. I do not do any of those. I do however read blogs in Google Reader, check my yahoo email and follow the news. I was advised that anything "video" related uses bandwidth. All employees were advised to stop action and monitoring will be heightened.
As I value my job and the ability to pay my bills and maintain my lifestyle, I am ceasing all internet usage at the office unless work related. It is amazing how much time I try to kill when I don't have work, spending it online. I don't have internet access on my phone as I vowed I didn't want access 24/7 since I have a personal computer as well as internet access at work. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should as maintaining my job is far more income than the expenditure of internet on my phone per month! For now, I think that life will go on without frequent surfing of the internet. I'm not addicted to Facebook or blogs or even email, but I do wonder how I will pass the days of downtime while sitting at my desk. I've considered working out, but I can't get sweaty. I've considered reading, but the thought of getting "caught".
Any suggestions?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Career, Fortune = MidLife Crisis
I've been struggling as of late (well probably longer) with what direction I want to have in my life, for my career. I recently entered my fourteenth year in my profession pertaining to child abuse and neglect. Fourteen Years.
I have absolutely no desire to be management. I have absolutely no desire to return to school in my current field. I have absolutely no desire to continue doing what I'm doing indefinitely and yet I have absolutely no idea what I want to do.
My fortune cookie today: You will have an unusually successful career in entertainment.
Of course that makes me curious as to what type of "entertainment". I prefer to be entertained as I have absolutely no entertaining skills. Public Speaking - No. Teaching - No. Writing - No. Comedy - No. Dancer (for money? Seriously?) - Hell No. Sports Related - No. Fire Thrower - No. Circus Act - Well maybe - No. Actress - No. Others - No. No. And. No.
I want a change. And yet I purposefully remain stagnant. I remain solid. I remain consistent. I refrain from change. I am a mother. I am a provider. I will continue until I have the right to do something else when I don't have a son completely relying and dependent on me to provide for his every need and to be stable and available and mom. Five Years. Five. More. Years. Five.
Then what? After 19 years of employment, I won't be able to retire. I won't be eligible to retire until another fifteen years. Sigh. Stuck, stuck in the security of stability and employment. And honestly, it's not all that bad. I choose to stay where I am. To have the safety and security of the known. To find adventure and risk in my personal life.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so responsible. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so black and white. And then, I look in the mirror and I am thankful for who I am and where I am today. Thankful that I am responsible. Thankful that I choose to follow rules and I am proud of Me and I can wake up every day and appreciate life and love and family and know that no matter what, today will be a Good Day.
I have no regrets.
But sometimes, I want that fork in the road to contain a huge amount of gooey peanut butter brownie that melts in my mouth, adds a spring in my step and allows me to see the direction I need to continue.
I have absolutely no desire to be management. I have absolutely no desire to return to school in my current field. I have absolutely no desire to continue doing what I'm doing indefinitely and yet I have absolutely no idea what I want to do.
My fortune cookie today: You will have an unusually successful career in entertainment.
Of course that makes me curious as to what type of "entertainment". I prefer to be entertained as I have absolutely no entertaining skills. Public Speaking - No. Teaching - No. Writing - No. Comedy - No. Dancer (for money? Seriously?) - Hell No. Sports Related - No. Fire Thrower - No. Circus Act - Well maybe - No. Actress - No. Others - No. No. And. No.
I want a change. And yet I purposefully remain stagnant. I remain solid. I remain consistent. I refrain from change. I am a mother. I am a provider. I will continue until I have the right to do something else when I don't have a son completely relying and dependent on me to provide for his every need and to be stable and available and mom. Five Years. Five. More. Years. Five.
Then what? After 19 years of employment, I won't be able to retire. I won't be eligible to retire until another fifteen years. Sigh. Stuck, stuck in the security of stability and employment. And honestly, it's not all that bad. I choose to stay where I am. To have the safety and security of the known. To find adventure and risk in my personal life.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so responsible. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so black and white. And then, I look in the mirror and I am thankful for who I am and where I am today. Thankful that I am responsible. Thankful that I choose to follow rules and I am proud of Me and I can wake up every day and appreciate life and love and family and know that no matter what, today will be a Good Day.
I have no regrets.
But sometimes, I want that fork in the road to contain a huge amount of gooey peanut butter brownie that melts in my mouth, adds a spring in my step and allows me to see the direction I need to continue.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Week in Review
I've thought many times over the past week of things I would or could blog about. I had no energy. I had no drive. I had no passion. Two days last week, other than driving my son to school or picking him up from practice, I didn't get out of my pajamas and my efforts of moving found me going from the bed to the couch and a scuffle to the kitchen. I can't remember the last time I was feeling so poorly and unmotivated.
A week ago Saturday I had to teach. A full day class to prospective foster and adoptive families. I had to cover three sessions, two which I had never taught before. Needless to say, I might have been stressing and fretting about it, a little.
Friday I was fortunate enough to have access to the training location to set up the room. I had initially thought I wouldn't be able to do so until Saturday morning! I purchased breakfast snacks, ordered lunch, had pop, chips and cookies. I had tried to review the material and the power points several times but I kept feeling inadequate. Granted I could talk for days, weeks and months about my job...but could I cover what I had to cover and keep the trainees awake and teach them? Would I be boring? My own personal concerns and threats of inadequacies could have spiraled me out of control. So after I set up the conference room, I met Debbie Downer's brother at my favorite brewery for some much needed cider.
Immediately I wondered if I had made a mistake. I thought since we had decided to stop "seeing each other" we could try to have fun. Sometimes, there are just people that aren't fun, regardless. But I forged ahead and made the best of it, even found myself laughing at myself often. In town, it was Mannequin Night where volunteers modeled as mannequin's in the store fronts. The streets were packed and each window had a different theme. We walked around town, getting separated often. I opted to call it a night, despite the urge to want to consume massive amounts of alcohol to forget about my teaching in the morning - responsibility, commonsense and the thought of trying to function with a hangover won out, as always. He had hoped to come back to my house to watch a movie, but after four hours with him, I had had enough.
I got home and decided that I was exhausted. I considered a bubble bath, but I was too tired to make one. I started having thoughts about falling asleep in the tub and drowning and not being found until Monday evening by my son! Clearly, my mind comes up with some bizarre thoughts! So I found my way to bed.
The training went well. Other than a mixup with where I was when bouncing between the book and the power point. The pizzas I ordered were wrong, which went well with the overall theme of my training: "Do not have Expectations" and I forgot to put out the $12 of fresh baked cookies! Overall, a success!
Saturday night I met with AG in Grand Rapids to walk around ArtPrize 2010, which didn't officially kick off until Wednesday. We found ourselves in a coffee shop playing 80's trivia afterward, which I completely SUCK. I did end the game on a good note with a right answer of Saved By The Bell! I then met my date back in town for a drink.
Sunday, I was officially kicked out of the Survivor Football pool. Before I was even able to put my plan in action. So much for Dallas beating Da Bears. Sigh I spent much of Sunday hanging out with my date and trying to understand how I pulled something in my knee - likely the night before as I often find I have trouble walking and tripped on an uneven sidewalk! Tried out a new little breakfast place in town and was pleasantly surprised.
Monday I found myself ill. Drained. Emotionally and physically exhausted. I did manage to go to work on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I was able to see JA for lunch for her birthday at a new place in town, which is always a pleasure!
I'm beginning to feel back like normal. I'm out of my funk which had me questioning my job and all of the after hours calls and accommodations I seem to make. I'm just fortunate to HAVE a job. I'm still wanting a vacation very much, but for now, I'm just enjoying the weekend at my parent's laying low, seeing the almost full grown puppy and spending time with my mom for her birthday!
So off to a walk to the cider mill to enjoy cider and donuts. Then, a great meal with the family. Even later, Second City comedy show tonight for some much needed laughs and good company! Sunday will be family time, football and the drive home which may include some more ArtPrize festivities and hopefully some photos to share!
Have a great weekend!
A week ago Saturday I had to teach. A full day class to prospective foster and adoptive families. I had to cover three sessions, two which I had never taught before. Needless to say, I might have been stressing and fretting about it, a little.
Friday I was fortunate enough to have access to the training location to set up the room. I had initially thought I wouldn't be able to do so until Saturday morning! I purchased breakfast snacks, ordered lunch, had pop, chips and cookies. I had tried to review the material and the power points several times but I kept feeling inadequate. Granted I could talk for days, weeks and months about my job...but could I cover what I had to cover and keep the trainees awake and teach them? Would I be boring? My own personal concerns and threats of inadequacies could have spiraled me out of control. So after I set up the conference room, I met Debbie Downer's brother at my favorite brewery for some much needed cider.
Immediately I wondered if I had made a mistake. I thought since we had decided to stop "seeing each other" we could try to have fun. Sometimes, there are just people that aren't fun, regardless. But I forged ahead and made the best of it, even found myself laughing at myself often. In town, it was Mannequin Night where volunteers modeled as mannequin's in the store fronts. The streets were packed and each window had a different theme. We walked around town, getting separated often. I opted to call it a night, despite the urge to want to consume massive amounts of alcohol to forget about my teaching in the morning - responsibility, commonsense and the thought of trying to function with a hangover won out, as always. He had hoped to come back to my house to watch a movie, but after four hours with him, I had had enough.
I got home and decided that I was exhausted. I considered a bubble bath, but I was too tired to make one. I started having thoughts about falling asleep in the tub and drowning and not being found until Monday evening by my son! Clearly, my mind comes up with some bizarre thoughts! So I found my way to bed.
The training went well. Other than a mixup with where I was when bouncing between the book and the power point. The pizzas I ordered were wrong, which went well with the overall theme of my training: "Do not have Expectations" and I forgot to put out the $12 of fresh baked cookies! Overall, a success!
Saturday night I met with AG in Grand Rapids to walk around ArtPrize 2010, which didn't officially kick off until Wednesday. We found ourselves in a coffee shop playing 80's trivia afterward, which I completely SUCK. I did end the game on a good note with a right answer of Saved By The Bell! I then met my date back in town for a drink.
Sunday, I was officially kicked out of the Survivor Football pool. Before I was even able to put my plan in action. So much for Dallas beating Da Bears. Sigh I spent much of Sunday hanging out with my date and trying to understand how I pulled something in my knee - likely the night before as I often find I have trouble walking and tripped on an uneven sidewalk! Tried out a new little breakfast place in town and was pleasantly surprised.
Monday I found myself ill. Drained. Emotionally and physically exhausted. I did manage to go to work on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I was able to see JA for lunch for her birthday at a new place in town, which is always a pleasure!
I'm beginning to feel back like normal. I'm out of my funk which had me questioning my job and all of the after hours calls and accommodations I seem to make. I'm just fortunate to HAVE a job. I'm still wanting a vacation very much, but for now, I'm just enjoying the weekend at my parent's laying low, seeing the almost full grown puppy and spending time with my mom for her birthday!
So off to a walk to the cider mill to enjoy cider and donuts. Then, a great meal with the family. Even later, Second City comedy show tonight for some much needed laughs and good company! Sunday will be family time, football and the drive home which may include some more ArtPrize festivities and hopefully some photos to share!
Have a great weekend!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday Follies
Today seems to be one of those days. The day that nothing seems to go the way you plan, but seems to have a better outcome! But if I didn't know better, I would have thought it was Monday!
* I was billed $163 for my son's physical instead of my insurance. The doctor's office said he has a primary insurance through his father (news to me!) so my insurance can't be billed yet. Call to sperm donor who is major douchebag and tells me to get him the bill on Monday when I can give it to my son next.
* Home visit for work - No work vehicles available. Have to take personal car (tires need balance and rotation as car feels like it is "shuddering").
* Shopping for training supplies and food for all day training I am teaching on Saturday (and completely NOT prepared for!)
* Need to pick up son's contacts (saved over 1/2 since the amount they quoted didn't include insurance discount).
* Need to have tires rotated and balanced.
- Because I had to take my personal car to my home visit, I was able to get groceries for training and not have to move them back to personal car for training! I was also able to swing by and grab my son's contacts and get my tires done. While sitting at Discount Tire for an hour, I was able to truly focus on reading through my training material for my class from 9-3:30p.m.
* Order Chinese Take Out (have number on cell phone)
* While waiting for order, run to Dollar Store and purchase serving bowls and platter for training food.
* Arrive to pick up Chinese food and pay to learn that I didn't call and order from that restaurant.
- Instead of stiffing the other take out Chinese place across town, I drove across town to pick up my order. In doing so, I was able to run home and drop off the bill on my son's computer that he will pick up after school to spend the weekend with his dad. I was also able to get my mail, check email and eat at home!
At this point, it is only mid-day. I managed to order lunch for the training and other than spending an hour or two in setting up the training room, I should be all set, well other than actually knowing the material I'm teaching! All in all, the day is turning out pretty well!
Happy Friday! May your day be blessed and merry and have a fantastic weekend!
* I was billed $163 for my son's physical instead of my insurance. The doctor's office said he has a primary insurance through his father (news to me!) so my insurance can't be billed yet. Call to sperm donor who is major douchebag and tells me to get him the bill on Monday when I can give it to my son next.
* Home visit for work - No work vehicles available. Have to take personal car (tires need balance and rotation as car feels like it is "shuddering").
* Shopping for training supplies and food for all day training I am teaching on Saturday (and completely NOT prepared for!)
* Need to pick up son's contacts (saved over 1/2 since the amount they quoted didn't include insurance discount).
* Need to have tires rotated and balanced.
- Because I had to take my personal car to my home visit, I was able to get groceries for training and not have to move them back to personal car for training! I was also able to swing by and grab my son's contacts and get my tires done. While sitting at Discount Tire for an hour, I was able to truly focus on reading through my training material for my class from 9-3:30p.m.
* Order Chinese Take Out (have number on cell phone)
* While waiting for order, run to Dollar Store and purchase serving bowls and platter for training food.
* Arrive to pick up Chinese food and pay to learn that I didn't call and order from that restaurant.
- Instead of stiffing the other take out Chinese place across town, I drove across town to pick up my order. In doing so, I was able to run home and drop off the bill on my son's computer that he will pick up after school to spend the weekend with his dad. I was also able to get my mail, check email and eat at home!
At this point, it is only mid-day. I managed to order lunch for the training and other than spending an hour or two in setting up the training room, I should be all set, well other than actually knowing the material I'm teaching! All in all, the day is turning out pretty well!
Happy Friday! May your day be blessed and merry and have a fantastic weekend!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
It Is Official
Moments ago in searching for something else, I realized that I am officially a Licensed Foster Parent (here) . Effective 9/14/2010, two months after my homestudy was submitted, I am licensed.
As a side note, I was able to confirm that in fact private agencies take precedence. Fourteen years ago, when I entered the field of Foster Care there were looming threats of privatization. Those threats continue today. So in a way, my time frame of being licensed was a comparison of state vs. privatization as two separate reports were submitted on the exact same day and the private agency won.
Sometimes confirmation isn't bitter sweet.
Here is to the next "chapter" of my life. =)
As a side note, I was able to confirm that in fact private agencies take precedence. Fourteen years ago, when I entered the field of Foster Care there were looming threats of privatization. Those threats continue today. So in a way, my time frame of being licensed was a comparison of state vs. privatization as two separate reports were submitted on the exact same day and the private agency won.
Sometimes confirmation isn't bitter sweet.
Here is to the next "chapter" of my life. =)
Monday, September 6, 2010
In Between
Today is the last day of summer vacation. Tomorrow is the first day of eighth grade for T. His first day at a new school. A bigger school. A school where he is the youngest. A school where he will spend the next four years.
We live too close to the school to have public transportation. Last year T had to walk to school, .7 miles. This year the school is about 1.2 miles. We are within walking distance. We are in that in between area - too close for bus and a little too far to walk.
School starts at 8:00a.m. Last year school started earlier and I would leave the house about 7:42a.m. The .5 miles difference and later start time make it a more difficult time for me. A time of in between. Last year I would take him to school in my pajamas and return to shower and leave the house at 8:22a.m. for my 8:30a.m. start time. This year if I don't want to be late for work, I will have to be ready for work when I drive him to school at 7:47a.m. because the extra five minutes and drive time will make me late every time. I'm just fortunate that we now have two bathrooms!
T decided he needed some shirts to go with his new shorts he got while in Arizona. He had a last hurrah party today and wanted to go shopping afterward. Me in procrastination mode, headed out to Kohl's without him to see what I could find procrastinating continuing the laundry room painting (but this weekend I finished repainting the stairwell, the window trim is done and the window well was masonry weather sealed). Unfortunately, T is...in between sizes. At thirteen, he is too old for the boys section and too young for the men's or anything in between. He can fit into some size 18 shorts, but does better with the 28-30 range. Shirts, XL in the boys and XS in the men's. Unfortunately, that doesn't leave a whole lot of selection.
We live too close to the school to have public transportation. Last year T had to walk to school, .7 miles. This year the school is about 1.2 miles. We are within walking distance. We are in that in between area - too close for bus and a little too far to walk.
School starts at 8:00a.m. Last year school started earlier and I would leave the house about 7:42a.m. The .5 miles difference and later start time make it a more difficult time for me. A time of in between. Last year I would take him to school in my pajamas and return to shower and leave the house at 8:22a.m. for my 8:30a.m. start time. This year if I don't want to be late for work, I will have to be ready for work when I drive him to school at 7:47a.m. because the extra five minutes and drive time will make me late every time. I'm just fortunate that we now have two bathrooms!
T decided he needed some shirts to go with his new shorts he got while in Arizona. He had a last hurrah party today and wanted to go shopping afterward. Me in procrastination mode, headed out to Kohl's without him to see what I could find procrastinating continuing the laundry room painting (but this weekend I finished repainting the stairwell, the window trim is done and the window well was masonry weather sealed). Unfortunately, T is...in between sizes. At thirteen, he is too old for the boys section and too young for the men's or anything in between. He can fit into some size 18 shorts, but does better with the 28-30 range. Shirts, XL in the boys and XS in the men's. Unfortunately, that doesn't leave a whole lot of selection.
I scoured the entire male areas of Kohl's looking for anything that would fit him that was also on clearance. I had a 15% off card and $10 in Kohl's cash (that expired today!) as well as $13.79 remaining on a gift card. I ended up grabbing three t-shirts in the boys section, four shirts and a long sleeve shirt in the men's section and a pair of shorts.
T saw the three men's shirts and immediately said "No". He also didn't care for the long sleeve shirt that was long john material and army green. I had him try on everything anyway and he liked everything but the long sleeve shirt, which was actually one of the more expensive items! So with the return of the shirt, the total spent at Kohl's...$30.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
She said WHAT?
My co-w0rker has this tendency to blurt out random things, often times before she thinks. Today we have a potluck luncheon for a worker who has transferred positions, but will still be working in our office.
Sometimes I wonder how things really sound to innocent bystanders.
Here is what she said:
"So let me know when you go down, k?"
Wow, did she really just say that? I'm rendered speechless...
Sometimes I wonder how things really sound to innocent bystanders.
Here is what she said:
"So let me know when you go down, k?"
Wow, did she really just say that? I'm rendered speechless...
Monday, March 22, 2010
March 20
A day of firsts...
Thirteen years ago on March 20, 1997, I gave birth to my son. A true gift. A blessing. An amazement. I am thankful for every day, every day that he has been part of my life. He has brought so much joy, happiness, and maturity to my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. It is truly amazing how sometimes the things that are unplanned, which we are completely unprepared, turn into our greatest treasures and successes.
T was with his dad this weekend. He may be celebrating his birthday with several friends next weekend. I'm pretty much left in the dark on this one - seeing that invitations aren't really for teenagers. So I'm putting it all in my son's hands and winging it that there may or may not be kids that just come over to stay the night! I surely hope I know before anyone arrives!
On March 20, 2010, I taught my first training class. A required training for prospective foster parents. It was my first training and I have to say I didn't feel completely prepared, but as prepared as I was going to be. With some help from the trainer before me and another on the phone, we were able to connect my laptop to the projector and everything was a go.
I thought the training went really well. I actually really enjoyed it and am looking forward to teaching more. I may even volunteer to teach more than I'm required. I would just prefer that the trainings weren't in the evenings or on the weekend! I was able to dismiss the class about ten minutes early. I had a few stay after to ask questions, with the final woman staying to talk to me for an hour. So by the time I locked up the building, it was over 1.5 hours after my training ended!
Another new momentous first on March 20, 2010. I'm almost thinking that maybe I've found my niche. Sharing, speaking, training...as long as I wear a turtleneck so no one can see my neck get blotchy, I might have a future!
Thirteen years ago on March 20, 1997, I gave birth to my son. A true gift. A blessing. An amazement. I am thankful for every day, every day that he has been part of my life. He has brought so much joy, happiness, and maturity to my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. It is truly amazing how sometimes the things that are unplanned, which we are completely unprepared, turn into our greatest treasures and successes.
T was with his dad this weekend. He may be celebrating his birthday with several friends next weekend. I'm pretty much left in the dark on this one - seeing that invitations aren't really for teenagers. So I'm putting it all in my son's hands and winging it that there may or may not be kids that just come over to stay the night! I surely hope I know before anyone arrives!
On March 20, 2010, I taught my first training class. A required training for prospective foster parents. It was my first training and I have to say I didn't feel completely prepared, but as prepared as I was going to be. With some help from the trainer before me and another on the phone, we were able to connect my laptop to the projector and everything was a go.
I thought the training went really well. I actually really enjoyed it and am looking forward to teaching more. I may even volunteer to teach more than I'm required. I would just prefer that the trainings weren't in the evenings or on the weekend! I was able to dismiss the class about ten minutes early. I had a few stay after to ask questions, with the final woman staying to talk to me for an hour. So by the time I locked up the building, it was over 1.5 hours after my training ended!
Another new momentous first on March 20, 2010. I'm almost thinking that maybe I've found my niche. Sharing, speaking, training...as long as I wear a turtleneck so no one can see my neck get blotchy, I might have a future!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Helpless: Dilation
This morning I had an eye appointment. For those that may follow my blog or know me, you know I have serious eye issues. In summary, I had RK on one eye back in 1992. Since then, I have battled craziness, blurred vision, instability, independence (eyes do not work together) to name a few. I'm not a fan of eye doctors to say the least. Lasik is not an option on the eye that has not had surgery as my vision is so poor, it would help but not eliminate the need for corrective lens. I deal with it. Is what it is. The non-surgical enhanced eye is healthy though the vision is so poor, it is correctable, for now.
Needless to say, going to the eye doctor is a mere joke in so many ways. "Like this, or like that?" This - but I really mean the second one, so should I say that? Bottomline, no options from A and B, 1 and 2, this or that, make the blurriness, the haziness, the halos disappear. I focus hard on whether the letters change - get better or worse, they seldom do. They all look bad. Again, I feel like a failure, that I failed the eye test. But in reality, they do all look the same, crappy and I told the doctor so.
Today he recommended a gas permeable lens with a "skirt". Ah, doesn't that sound feminine? Of course, there is no assurance that it will actually help my vision or make it less blurry. For a $200 trial fee, I can try it. Then if I like it, it costs $1000 for two of them that last six months each. So for $1200 a year, I may find a lens that may somewhat enhance my clarity. May.
Anyway, my real issue today...dilation. The doctor asked if I wanted to have my eyes dilated. I am in one of those complacent moods, soft spoken, easy going, whatever moods. Sell me a burning bridge and I'll be the first rave about it, as long as you said it was a good deal and I need it. Ok, maybe that's not completely true since I didn't want to try the gas permeable. Anyhow...he said he wanted to look into my eyes and asked if I was OK with them being dilated. If he says he needs to, sobeit right? What's another eye drop after the iodine? Or not.
I guess I forgot what the after math of dilation entails. Immediately my eyes started to tighten, itch, water and become very uncomfortable. I asked the girl that orders the lenses how long it would last and if it would get worse. Yes and the vision will be affected for...4-6 HOURS.
WHAT? Today I have so much to do at work to get prepared for my first teaching class tomorrow. Today is the worst day possible. She basically said, "You won't be able to read any fine print." WHAT?
I had to swing by another agency and drop something off. I also had to get an attendance sheet for the training. I couldn't read it. I couldn't read material I was referencing in the training book. I couldn't read a lot.
I noticed when I got back to my office to make copies of the attendance sheet that I thought it said "February 20". I asked my old Supervisor for assistance on what it said and she said, "Fucking C, I don't know what FCN stands for." What? Clearly she was messing with me and when I explained that I couldn't see it, she empathized, apologized and confirmed that in fact there was a February date on the sign in. Since then, I have had difficulty reading any emails, seeing any fine print.
I had to make changes to the attendance sheet in excel. I wanted to change the font, the format, the print, the boxes, the header, etc. Probably not a good day to do it! I know how to navigate excel but not without being able to read the drop downs. I had to ask a co-worker for assistance, twice. I went to make copies on the copier and somehow ended up with a screen that I have never seen. I couldn't clear it or cancel it. I asked a third person for assistance - one who over heard the conversation with my old boss who just laughed. Then she admitted that she didn't know what I hit on the copier and how to clear it. The solution? Turn it off and turn it back on. She asked if I could find the start button. Sigh.
It is going to be a very long and trying day. I'm not used to asking for help and this is clearly making me branch out to ask. It also makes me feel completely incompetent.
My boss noticed immediately something about my eyes when I walked in his office to get a Post-it Table Top Pad. He asked what was going on. I told him. I also told him I may need to take the rest of the afternoon off. While I have a lot to do, I can't see things to get it done right. Fortunately I can type without looking at the keys and far enough from the screen, I can see OK.
Happy Friday everyone. I can only hope that time passes quickly. I have a wall sheet I have to make but at this point I still can't see the writing that I need to write on the Easel.
Long day indeed...
Needless to say, going to the eye doctor is a mere joke in so many ways. "Like this, or like that?" This - but I really mean the second one, so should I say that? Bottomline, no options from A and B, 1 and 2, this or that, make the blurriness, the haziness, the halos disappear. I focus hard on whether the letters change - get better or worse, they seldom do. They all look bad. Again, I feel like a failure, that I failed the eye test. But in reality, they do all look the same, crappy and I told the doctor so.
Today he recommended a gas permeable lens with a "skirt". Ah, doesn't that sound feminine? Of course, there is no assurance that it will actually help my vision or make it less blurry. For a $200 trial fee, I can try it. Then if I like it, it costs $1000 for two of them that last six months each. So for $1200 a year, I may find a lens that may somewhat enhance my clarity. May.
Anyway, my real issue today...dilation. The doctor asked if I wanted to have my eyes dilated. I am in one of those complacent moods, soft spoken, easy going, whatever moods. Sell me a burning bridge and I'll be the first rave about it, as long as you said it was a good deal and I need it. Ok, maybe that's not completely true since I didn't want to try the gas permeable. Anyhow...he said he wanted to look into my eyes and asked if I was OK with them being dilated. If he says he needs to, sobeit right? What's another eye drop after the iodine? Or not.
I guess I forgot what the after math of dilation entails. Immediately my eyes started to tighten, itch, water and become very uncomfortable. I asked the girl that orders the lenses how long it would last and if it would get worse. Yes and the vision will be affected for...4-6 HOURS.
WHAT? Today I have so much to do at work to get prepared for my first teaching class tomorrow. Today is the worst day possible. She basically said, "You won't be able to read any fine print." WHAT?
I had to swing by another agency and drop something off. I also had to get an attendance sheet for the training. I couldn't read it. I couldn't read material I was referencing in the training book. I couldn't read a lot.
I noticed when I got back to my office to make copies of the attendance sheet that I thought it said "February 20". I asked my old Supervisor for assistance on what it said and she said, "Fucking C, I don't know what FCN stands for." What? Clearly she was messing with me and when I explained that I couldn't see it, she empathized, apologized and confirmed that in fact there was a February date on the sign in. Since then, I have had difficulty reading any emails, seeing any fine print.
I had to make changes to the attendance sheet in excel. I wanted to change the font, the format, the print, the boxes, the header, etc. Probably not a good day to do it! I know how to navigate excel but not without being able to read the drop downs. I had to ask a co-worker for assistance, twice. I went to make copies on the copier and somehow ended up with a screen that I have never seen. I couldn't clear it or cancel it. I asked a third person for assistance - one who over heard the conversation with my old boss who just laughed. Then she admitted that she didn't know what I hit on the copier and how to clear it. The solution? Turn it off and turn it back on. She asked if I could find the start button. Sigh.
It is going to be a very long and trying day. I'm not used to asking for help and this is clearly making me branch out to ask. It also makes me feel completely incompetent.
My boss noticed immediately something about my eyes when I walked in his office to get a Post-it Table Top Pad. He asked what was going on. I told him. I also told him I may need to take the rest of the afternoon off. While I have a lot to do, I can't see things to get it done right. Fortunately I can type without looking at the keys and far enough from the screen, I can see OK.
Happy Friday everyone. I can only hope that time passes quickly. I have a wall sheet I have to make but at this point I still can't see the writing that I need to write on the Easel.
Long day indeed...
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Can't We All Be Friends?
Sometimes I wonder if it's really possible to be friends with everyone or anyone for that matter. Clearly no one is friends with everyone or no one. But is it ultimately possible for all of your own friends to get along? Is it wishful thinking to think that people that have a common denominator, you, may be able to get along in one place?
I think in my unrealistic world, I think it's possible. I do think it's possible to be friends with ex's. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.
One lesson my mom always taught me (which I am completely guilty of NOT following - but always thinking and considering) is that you invite everyone, regardless. It is better to have invited than to have excluded. Let them be the one to determine that they don't want (to go, to participate, to be involved, etc.), then for you to make that decision for someone else.
I am completely guilty of exclusion. I try hard not to, but I am. I often think that it's best for the other person to not have to feel pressured or put on the spot in a possibly awkward situation. Or, when I know that they would want to but other commitments make it difficult.
Just this afternoon, I didn't include someone in something as mundane as signing Christmas cards. I didn't think he would want to be bothered, he is afterall The Top Dog. At the suggestion of a co-worker, I asked him if he wanted to sign them, he did.
It isn't just about the season of giving. It is about being conscious about other's feelings and beliefs but knowing that we can't know what is best for someone else or what they would want, without asking them.
Although, is there times, when maybe it isn't best to be all inclusive? When it might not be the best idea to invite, say everyone? In the past I've managed to have "game nights" at my home and several of my ex's whom I am friends with, have all come - some solo, some with their new partners. It's never awkward for me. I suppose what it boils down to is everyone is an adult and they are responsible for their own feelings and actions, as am I. But...
Stay tuned to see how the drama may unfold and I can revel in what I should or could have done, after the fact of course!
I think in my unrealistic world, I think it's possible. I do think it's possible to be friends with ex's. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.
One lesson my mom always taught me (which I am completely guilty of NOT following - but always thinking and considering) is that you invite everyone, regardless. It is better to have invited than to have excluded. Let them be the one to determine that they don't want (to go, to participate, to be involved, etc.), then for you to make that decision for someone else.
I am completely guilty of exclusion. I try hard not to, but I am. I often think that it's best for the other person to not have to feel pressured or put on the spot in a possibly awkward situation. Or, when I know that they would want to but other commitments make it difficult.
Just this afternoon, I didn't include someone in something as mundane as signing Christmas cards. I didn't think he would want to be bothered, he is afterall The Top Dog. At the suggestion of a co-worker, I asked him if he wanted to sign them, he did.
It isn't just about the season of giving. It is about being conscious about other's feelings and beliefs but knowing that we can't know what is best for someone else or what they would want, without asking them.
Although, is there times, when maybe it isn't best to be all inclusive? When it might not be the best idea to invite, say everyone? In the past I've managed to have "game nights" at my home and several of my ex's whom I am friends with, have all come - some solo, some with their new partners. It's never awkward for me. I suppose what it boils down to is everyone is an adult and they are responsible for their own feelings and actions, as am I. But...
Stay tuned to see how the drama may unfold and I can revel in what I should or could have done, after the fact of course!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Sick Leave
I am for the most part, very healthy. I have no complaints. I'm not a hypochondriac. While I really dislike the doctor, I do go for my yearly physical and occasionally go to the doctor when I have certain concerns.
With my employment, I earn two hours of sick leave a week. We can take two consecutive days of sick leave without question. Anything more and a doctor's note is required. I have friends who will take "mental health" sick days. I used to think that by taking one of these days, then I would get sick. Karma.
I have over the past couple years begun to realize that I earn my sick leave. If and when I leave my employer, I will lose my sick leave. I anticipate that when I leave, I will have some doctor's note that will justify my mental illness leave of many months prior to my actual termination date. While I'm not big on the lying and deception, I have tried to embrace the idea of using my sick leave intermittently. I stopped using my personal time for doctor appointments and started using sick time. I will occasionally take a mental health day and find myself sleeping in or cleaning the house. Things that I don't want to waste my weekends on.
I've also found that occasionally, I look for small medical reasons to use my sick leave. I know that this may sound odd, but it's the truth. Granted if I wanted to perfect myself, I could have surgery to make myself prettier. I could have a boob job to enhance my feminine qualities - however I have many reasons for not doing this: 1) My mom had a single mastectomy for breast cancer and never had reconstructive surgery, 2) God and my parents made me - I am who I am, 3) Being physically active I prefer to not have to wear the over the shoulder boulder holder or have chronic sore back and 4) I really prefer that men look at my eyes than my chest (one can hope, right?). I could also have a nose job. But like the reasons for not having a boob job, I haven't done that. I'm not really into cosmetic surgery, per se.
Having said that, I did have my tonsillectomy back when I was married - guessing at least seven years ago. I have absolutely no regrets - other than I wish I had done it sooner. I had reconstructive knee surgery in 2000 - again no regrets, wish I had done it sooner. So as I mentioned, I occasionally wonder what other small thing I can do to take some time off work and better myself.
My latest...I have Varicose Veins. I didn't know that's what they were. And when I work out, they get more intense and severe. I don't know how long I have had them and honestly I thought there was only one, well I guess I only took notice of the one. I have them on both legs. This summer, when I wore more dresses, I've had people question me about them. No one questions the long scar on my leg from my surgery, but they point out the purplish discolored looking bruise. I mentioned it at my recent physical and was referred to a specialist.
A few weeks ago I went to the specialist and he scheduled an ultrasound. I have never met someone who spoke so fast, I had difficulty understanding the doctor. I really have no idea what the procedure is. I went and had the ultrasound completed and learned that in fact the blood is not flowing the way that it should and fortunately I don't have any clots. The doctor informed me that I should call my insurance and that the procedure would be in the "high deductible" range and likely have a $1000 deductible. I found this odd since with my insurance I can't recall ever having a deductible but I figured this might be considered cosmetic. He then went on to say that while they had to charge the deductible if I wrote a letter that I couldn't pay, they would waive the charge. Odd.
I called my insurance company and talked to someone about the potential procedure. Since the doctor is "in network" the procedure is covered 100% and I don't have a deductible. Fabulous. So my gift to myself for post birthday, Endovenous Laser Treatment of the Saphenous Vein (EVLT). I could have had it done ON my birthday, but decided maybe if my son isn't with me for the weekend before to actually celebrate my birthday - then maybe a few days of sick leave and recovery time would be needed!
The doctor suggested that I could do both legs at the same time. But I figure I'll try one at a time and see how it goes before subjecting my other leg. Afterall, that's what I did with my RK eye surgery - and never had the other eye done.
With my employment, I earn two hours of sick leave a week. We can take two consecutive days of sick leave without question. Anything more and a doctor's note is required. I have friends who will take "mental health" sick days. I used to think that by taking one of these days, then I would get sick. Karma.
I have over the past couple years begun to realize that I earn my sick leave. If and when I leave my employer, I will lose my sick leave. I anticipate that when I leave, I will have some doctor's note that will justify my mental illness leave of many months prior to my actual termination date. While I'm not big on the lying and deception, I have tried to embrace the idea of using my sick leave intermittently. I stopped using my personal time for doctor appointments and started using sick time. I will occasionally take a mental health day and find myself sleeping in or cleaning the house. Things that I don't want to waste my weekends on.
I've also found that occasionally, I look for small medical reasons to use my sick leave. I know that this may sound odd, but it's the truth. Granted if I wanted to perfect myself, I could have surgery to make myself prettier. I could have a boob job to enhance my feminine qualities - however I have many reasons for not doing this: 1) My mom had a single mastectomy for breast cancer and never had reconstructive surgery, 2) God and my parents made me - I am who I am, 3) Being physically active I prefer to not have to wear the over the shoulder boulder holder or have chronic sore back and 4) I really prefer that men look at my eyes than my chest (one can hope, right?). I could also have a nose job. But like the reasons for not having a boob job, I haven't done that. I'm not really into cosmetic surgery, per se.
Having said that, I did have my tonsillectomy back when I was married - guessing at least seven years ago. I have absolutely no regrets - other than I wish I had done it sooner. I had reconstructive knee surgery in 2000 - again no regrets, wish I had done it sooner. So as I mentioned, I occasionally wonder what other small thing I can do to take some time off work and better myself.
My latest...I have Varicose Veins. I didn't know that's what they were. And when I work out, they get more intense and severe. I don't know how long I have had them and honestly I thought there was only one, well I guess I only took notice of the one. I have them on both legs. This summer, when I wore more dresses, I've had people question me about them. No one questions the long scar on my leg from my surgery, but they point out the purplish discolored looking bruise. I mentioned it at my recent physical and was referred to a specialist.
A few weeks ago I went to the specialist and he scheduled an ultrasound. I have never met someone who spoke so fast, I had difficulty understanding the doctor. I really have no idea what the procedure is. I went and had the ultrasound completed and learned that in fact the blood is not flowing the way that it should and fortunately I don't have any clots. The doctor informed me that I should call my insurance and that the procedure would be in the "high deductible" range and likely have a $1000 deductible. I found this odd since with my insurance I can't recall ever having a deductible but I figured this might be considered cosmetic. He then went on to say that while they had to charge the deductible if I wrote a letter that I couldn't pay, they would waive the charge. Odd.
I called my insurance company and talked to someone about the potential procedure. Since the doctor is "in network" the procedure is covered 100% and I don't have a deductible. Fabulous. So my gift to myself for post birthday, Endovenous Laser Treatment of the Saphenous Vein (EVLT). I could have had it done ON my birthday, but decided maybe if my son isn't with me for the weekend before to actually celebrate my birthday - then maybe a few days of sick leave and recovery time would be needed!
The doctor suggested that I could do both legs at the same time. But I figure I'll try one at a time and see how it goes before subjecting my other leg. Afterall, that's what I did with my RK eye surgery - and never had the other eye done.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Training Passive-Aggressive
Sometimes, I can rub people the wrong way. Truly I get that. Mom has always claimed it's because I'm confident and can come across as bitchy or that it's because I'm just all that. Personally, I don't agree with mom's assessment. What it boils down to is...I just rub people the wrong way.
A couple weeks ago I had a four day training about an hour from home. I was able to get a hotel room because of the distance and I did two nights when my son was with his dad. Really helped that I didn't have to do the 7:00a.m. drive! The training was to learn how to teach trainings. I actually liked the trainer - she was personable and almost entertaining, almost. The training itself, I had a hard time from the beginning understanding the concept and the purpose of the training and therefore, I had a hard time focusing and keeping awake.
At every training I attend, I usually am more of a wall flower. I don't socialize with others outside of group work and seldom do I make a point to go to lunch with any of the other participants, unless I'm at a training with a co-worker. I prefer to spend my time the way I want, rather than attempting to make friends or acquaintances with people I don't know and will likely never see again. I'm really not that cold and impersonal, I just like my time. Anyway, I'm digressing.
It was quickly apparent that there was some rift between the trainer and I. I was trying not to take it personal, but it was becoming ever so apparent as the days went on. Everytime I commented or answered a question, she never heard me - not the first, second OR third time. Associates at my table would look from me to her each time. I would maintain the same puzzled look. I finally gave up. If she wasn't going to hear me, then I wasn't going to speak. So I did my best to keep my head bobbing to a minimum and tried to sleep with my eyes open. At some point during Day 2 she came over to our table and said that we were her "sleepy table" and she needed a squirt bottle for myself and the woman next to me. Whatever.
Day 3 was "experiment day" and when we got in, we had to number off and switch tables and take all our belongings. I ended up at a table right in front of her. Honestly, my participation and attention span had much improved with my new seating arrangement. However, again, she never heard me. Again, my new tablemates were questioning her complete inability to hear me. I was trying not to personalize it. One even suggested maybe it is the "tone" of my voice she can't hear. That night, I was beginning to think I needed to address the situation with the instructor on the final day of training; however, if I was wrong then I became the black sheep and if I was right, there was likely nothing I could do about it anyway. So I decided to not address it with her - afterall at some point, she will need to grade me as a trainer and I do so want to be a certified trainer.
Mind you, Day 1 she told us her name...Kathleen. She went on to say that she despises being called "Kathy". That she ignores anyone who calls her that. Additionally, I have a not so traditional name which can often be called incorrectly. (Can you see where this is going?)
On Day 4 (I had been early every morning, back with plenty of time from breaks and lunches and respected her and her time - and yet, it still seemed she had an issue(s) with me.) prior to resuming from one of our breaks, she approached me. Seeing my name tent, which had been in front of me all week long and she had called me by my correct name all week long, she asked me where my office is located by addressing me by the wrong name. While I am more than used to this, this is when my passive-aggressive or aggressive-aggressive response came out. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "My name is XXXXX, and unless you would like me to call you Kathy, I would like to be called XXXXX."
You would have thought that I had shot her in the heart. I could see the smoke billowing from her ears. Her eyes pierced daggers into me. I sat there motionless. Staring her down.
Two can play your game...
She did apologize and I tried to minimize it with a small anecdotal story about names. But truth be told, she and I both knew that I meant business. And if she chooses not to "pass" me for teaching, oh well. Not the end of the world for me. Afterall, it would free up some of my Saturdays and Thursday nights if I couldn't teach!
A couple weeks ago I had a four day training about an hour from home. I was able to get a hotel room because of the distance and I did two nights when my son was with his dad. Really helped that I didn't have to do the 7:00a.m. drive! The training was to learn how to teach trainings. I actually liked the trainer - she was personable and almost entertaining, almost. The training itself, I had a hard time from the beginning understanding the concept and the purpose of the training and therefore, I had a hard time focusing and keeping awake.
At every training I attend, I usually am more of a wall flower. I don't socialize with others outside of group work and seldom do I make a point to go to lunch with any of the other participants, unless I'm at a training with a co-worker. I prefer to spend my time the way I want, rather than attempting to make friends or acquaintances with people I don't know and will likely never see again. I'm really not that cold and impersonal, I just like my time. Anyway, I'm digressing.
It was quickly apparent that there was some rift between the trainer and I. I was trying not to take it personal, but it was becoming ever so apparent as the days went on. Everytime I commented or answered a question, she never heard me - not the first, second OR third time. Associates at my table would look from me to her each time. I would maintain the same puzzled look. I finally gave up. If she wasn't going to hear me, then I wasn't going to speak. So I did my best to keep my head bobbing to a minimum and tried to sleep with my eyes open. At some point during Day 2 she came over to our table and said that we were her "sleepy table" and she needed a squirt bottle for myself and the woman next to me. Whatever.
Day 3 was "experiment day" and when we got in, we had to number off and switch tables and take all our belongings. I ended up at a table right in front of her. Honestly, my participation and attention span had much improved with my new seating arrangement. However, again, she never heard me. Again, my new tablemates were questioning her complete inability to hear me. I was trying not to personalize it. One even suggested maybe it is the "tone" of my voice she can't hear. That night, I was beginning to think I needed to address the situation with the instructor on the final day of training; however, if I was wrong then I became the black sheep and if I was right, there was likely nothing I could do about it anyway. So I decided to not address it with her - afterall at some point, she will need to grade me as a trainer and I do so want to be a certified trainer.
Mind you, Day 1 she told us her name...Kathleen. She went on to say that she despises being called "Kathy". That she ignores anyone who calls her that. Additionally, I have a not so traditional name which can often be called incorrectly. (Can you see where this is going?)
On Day 4 (I had been early every morning, back with plenty of time from breaks and lunches and respected her and her time - and yet, it still seemed she had an issue(s) with me.) prior to resuming from one of our breaks, she approached me. Seeing my name tent, which had been in front of me all week long and she had called me by my correct name all week long, she asked me where my office is located by addressing me by the wrong name. While I am more than used to this, this is when my passive-aggressive or aggressive-aggressive response came out. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "My name is XXXXX, and unless you would like me to call you Kathy, I would like to be called XXXXX."
You would have thought that I had shot her in the heart. I could see the smoke billowing from her ears. Her eyes pierced daggers into me. I sat there motionless. Staring her down.
Two can play your game...
She did apologize and I tried to minimize it with a small anecdotal story about names. But truth be told, she and I both knew that I meant business. And if she chooses not to "pass" me for teaching, oh well. Not the end of the world for me. Afterall, it would free up some of my Saturdays and Thursday nights if I couldn't teach!
Blah, Blah, Blah
I know that it is quickly approaching a month since my last post. I have no idea where time goes! If it's any consolation, I've considered blogging more times than I care to admit. I really have no excuse for not blogging, other than lack of blog worthy blogs and lack of motivation. Clearly it isn't that I can't type and whip something up in a matter of minutes. Maybe I'm using all of my quick typing minutes and thoughts to reply to random potential daters on the dating site (yeah that's it - which mind you is completely unsuccessful!)
I spent seven days in training during the month of October. All out of town, but not far enough. I did spend two nights in a hotel during one of the four day trainings. I'll post later about my passive-aggressive training moment, although one co-worker deemed it more of an aggressive-aggressive moment!
I'm trying really hard at the whole dating thing. Ok, that's more of an extreme exaggeration. I should clarify and say that I'm trying really hard to actually meet people and date rather than jump into a relationship. Last week I came across several blogs of turn-offs in dating. I'll reference my list in a later blog too.
On the home front...T finished up soccer on a Thursday, party on Friday. And then what comes next? Monday basketball tryouts. Weekends were swapped with my son's dad so that my son could go to his great grandma's 97th birthday party, which was cancelled the Monday before and subsequently she passed on the day her party had been scheduled. So the day of tryouts - none other than the viewing across state and the funeral the following day. While son's dad didn't ever talk to me about any of it - heard via instant message with my son (have to love YAHOO IM), I volunteered to drive my son 3.5 hours east after tryouts to attend the funeral the following day. Didn't even get out of the car, and then made the return trip. Ah motherhood. Of course I had a few appropriate "choice words" with the coach when I learned that tryouts weren't just Monday, regardless he made the "B" team. Sigh...I mean Congrats T, mom loves the 4:00p.m. games!
I spent seven days in training during the month of October. All out of town, but not far enough. I did spend two nights in a hotel during one of the four day trainings. I'll post later about my passive-aggressive training moment, although one co-worker deemed it more of an aggressive-aggressive moment!
I'm trying really hard at the whole dating thing. Ok, that's more of an extreme exaggeration. I should clarify and say that I'm trying really hard to actually meet people and date rather than jump into a relationship. Last week I came across several blogs of turn-offs in dating. I'll reference my list in a later blog too.
On the home front...T finished up soccer on a Thursday, party on Friday. And then what comes next? Monday basketball tryouts. Weekends were swapped with my son's dad so that my son could go to his great grandma's 97th birthday party, which was cancelled the Monday before and subsequently she passed on the day her party had been scheduled. So the day of tryouts - none other than the viewing across state and the funeral the following day. While son's dad didn't ever talk to me about any of it - heard via instant message with my son (have to love YAHOO IM), I volunteered to drive my son 3.5 hours east after tryouts to attend the funeral the following day. Didn't even get out of the car, and then made the return trip. Ah motherhood. Of course I had a few appropriate "choice words" with the coach when I learned that tryouts weren't just Monday, regardless he made the "B" team. Sigh...I mean Congrats T, mom loves the 4:00p.m. games!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Training
Finally, after muddling through my new position for the past 1.5 months, I am officially participating in certification training. It has been beneficial to pave my own way so that the training actually makes sense and I can inquire about all the questions I have yet to find the answers.
The morning started with a Pre-test....well actually, my morning started...with the alarm of JN.
JN stayed the night with me last night. She's on antibiotics so she claimed she wasn't going to be drinking. That went by the wayside, I would say that I'm a bad influence, but she drank more than I did!
So I woke to her alarm and woke her up. I then listened to her in the bathroom showering and getting ready. Then what did I hear?
JN vomiting, or forcing herself to vomit...the coughing, gagging, choking...the pleasant morning sounds at 6:30a.m. when I didn't have to get to training across the street until NINE A.M. Good times!
But back to the morning at the training. The Pre-Test was one of those awful twenty questions where you could have one answer or all or anywhere in between for each question. The tests were graded by the teacher's trusty sidekick. I overheard the sidekick mention my name to the trainer. I asked, what.
What did I do? Surprisingly, I tested the best out of the entire class of twenty! Me, after 1.5 months of self-training with some assistance from experienced workers throughout the county and state, I managed to test the best. Out of a class with mainly supervisors, directors and seasoned employees, I did well.
Go figure! Maybe I'm doing something right afterall! Then again, I also learned that something has been overlooked for likely nine years and I'm going to have to fix it! Sweet, bring it on! JUST KIDDING!
The morning started with a Pre-test....well actually, my morning started...with the alarm of JN.
JN stayed the night with me last night. She's on antibiotics so she claimed she wasn't going to be drinking. That went by the wayside, I would say that I'm a bad influence, but she drank more than I did!
So I woke to her alarm and woke her up. I then listened to her in the bathroom showering and getting ready. Then what did I hear?
JN vomiting, or forcing herself to vomit...the coughing, gagging, choking...the pleasant morning sounds at 6:30a.m. when I didn't have to get to training across the street until NINE A.M. Good times!
But back to the morning at the training. The Pre-Test was one of those awful twenty questions where you could have one answer or all or anywhere in between for each question. The tests were graded by the teacher's trusty sidekick. I overheard the sidekick mention my name to the trainer. I asked, what.
What did I do? Surprisingly, I tested the best out of the entire class of twenty! Me, after 1.5 months of self-training with some assistance from experienced workers throughout the county and state, I managed to test the best. Out of a class with mainly supervisors, directors and seasoned employees, I did well.
Go figure! Maybe I'm doing something right afterall! Then again, I also learned that something has been overlooked for likely nine years and I'm going to have to fix it! Sweet, bring it on! JUST KIDDING!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Unemployment
Unemployment is clearly on the rise. At every turn, steadily employed individuals are finding themselves unemployed. Businesses are going out of business. Malls are becoming barren as stores are closing. Jobs are being lost everywhere.
Friends and family, neighbors and strangers are unemployed. Unemployment is not bias or racist. It affects everyone. People are facing bankruptcy and foreclosures more than ever. Desperate and destitute are turning toward drastic measures, some so far as suicide and homicide. It's grave. It's bleak. Times appear hopeless for many, quickly becoming the majority.
Promises of the new Obama Presidency insists on "Change", like most if not all, we hope it won't be too late.
I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my stability. I too wonder "when". When is it my turn? When will it happen to me? Will I be fortunate enough?
As I walked into work this morning I walked by a man standing alone on the sidewalk waiting for the public transit. I smiled and said hello. He likewise did the same. Then he said, "Wow, I miss having a job to go to work."
I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to respond.
I didn't. I lowered my head, looked at my boots as they crunched in the snow and continued walking onward to the door of my employer. And at that very moment, I said a silent prayer of thanks, thanks because for another day, I can be thankful for what I have, employment.
Friends and family, neighbors and strangers are unemployed. Unemployment is not bias or racist. It affects everyone. People are facing bankruptcy and foreclosures more than ever. Desperate and destitute are turning toward drastic measures, some so far as suicide and homicide. It's grave. It's bleak. Times appear hopeless for many, quickly becoming the majority.
Promises of the new Obama Presidency insists on "Change", like most if not all, we hope it won't be too late.
I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my stability. I too wonder "when". When is it my turn? When will it happen to me? Will I be fortunate enough?
As I walked into work this morning I walked by a man standing alone on the sidewalk waiting for the public transit. I smiled and said hello. He likewise did the same. Then he said, "Wow, I miss having a job to go to work."
I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to respond.
I didn't. I lowered my head, looked at my boots as they crunched in the snow and continued walking onward to the door of my employer. And at that very moment, I said a silent prayer of thanks, thanks because for another day, I can be thankful for what I have, employment.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Biggest Loser
I have survived the holidays, without incident. I had great times hanging out with the family and spending time with my nephews that I see far too seldom.
I didn't manage to make any New Years Resolutions this year. Why further disappoint myself? There are many things that I can change and work on, but why fully acknowledge them and hold myself accountable?
Speaking of accountable, I just joined our work "Biggest Loser" competition. In good fun, I even considered adding the ankle or wrist weights that have been stashed in my rolling file cabinets. I'm pretty sure that I won't be the biggest loser by any means, but a little camaraderie and motivation to get back into working out never hurt!
I'm also looking forward to the new season of Biggest Loser beginning tomorrow on NBC. If only my son's basketball coach understood my love for BL, he would schedule practices that didn't conflict!
I didn't manage to make any New Years Resolutions this year. Why further disappoint myself? There are many things that I can change and work on, but why fully acknowledge them and hold myself accountable?
Speaking of accountable, I just joined our work "Biggest Loser" competition. In good fun, I even considered adding the ankle or wrist weights that have been stashed in my rolling file cabinets. I'm pretty sure that I won't be the biggest loser by any means, but a little camaraderie and motivation to get back into working out never hurt!
I'm also looking forward to the new season of Biggest Loser beginning tomorrow on NBC. If only my son's basketball coach understood my love for BL, he would schedule practices that didn't conflict!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Lingering Smells
Maybe it's true with all of our senses, that more often than not the negative experiences seem to linger the longest. Why is that? Is it our inherent need to savor the negativity?
As a Social Worker, I often found myself in not so pleasant home environments. For the past two years, I have been removed from the field for the most part. A part that I often do miss. Not that I miss witnessing first hand neglect or abuse, but the ability to be an active part of change. To embrace the opportunity to actually make a difference, however minute. Today I had the opportunity to step back into the worker role...and into the home of a "cluttered house". For me, "clutter" is as much to clutter as my "paradise resort" was to paradise, rather paradoxyl.
My co-worker and I had the fortunate opportunity to be escorted outside the residence for our long interview/home call. This allowed us to get a great majority of the crisp fall air pungent with cigar like unfiltered cigarettes and a mixture of aromatic stench seeping from the windows above. At the end of the visit, we had been given permission to enter the residence and observe it's current "cluttered" condition.
To say the home was appalling would be an understatement. Not only was wading through the small walkways and observing the living conditions memorable enough, the stench was enough to seep through every pore of our being and permeate us throughout. The drive back to the office with the windows down did little to alleviate us of the stench.
I was fortunate to come home and be able to enter my clean house. To take a long hot shower. To cleanse my nostrils and rid myself of the odor. While the smell continued to linger for me, it wasn't on my clothes, it wasn't on me.
The smell was in me. I can still smell it. Why if I had gone to a beautiful home with fresh baked cookies will those wonderful smells not remain?
Why?
As a Social Worker, I often found myself in not so pleasant home environments. For the past two years, I have been removed from the field for the most part. A part that I often do miss. Not that I miss witnessing first hand neglect or abuse, but the ability to be an active part of change. To embrace the opportunity to actually make a difference, however minute. Today I had the opportunity to step back into the worker role...and into the home of a "cluttered house". For me, "clutter" is as much to clutter as my "paradise resort" was to paradise, rather paradoxyl.
My co-worker and I had the fortunate opportunity to be escorted outside the residence for our long interview/home call. This allowed us to get a great majority of the crisp fall air pungent with cigar like unfiltered cigarettes and a mixture of aromatic stench seeping from the windows above. At the end of the visit, we had been given permission to enter the residence and observe it's current "cluttered" condition.
To say the home was appalling would be an understatement. Not only was wading through the small walkways and observing the living conditions memorable enough, the stench was enough to seep through every pore of our being and permeate us throughout. The drive back to the office with the windows down did little to alleviate us of the stench.
I was fortunate to come home and be able to enter my clean house. To take a long hot shower. To cleanse my nostrils and rid myself of the odor. While the smell continued to linger for me, it wasn't on my clothes, it wasn't on me.
The smell was in me. I can still smell it. Why if I had gone to a beautiful home with fresh baked cookies will those wonderful smells not remain?
Why?
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