I can't even believe that my last post was 9/11/12. That seems like forever ago...so much has happened since then...and yet things are still the same. While I decided to blog about my health, I'll do a quick update:
* My step-dad is doing well. The liver transplant was a success although he suffered complications that have impacted his vision and memory. The change has been a major adjustment to his and my mother's way of life; but, they are adjusting. He is alive and we are all blessed for the small miracles.
* We spent Thanksgiving with my brother's wife's family. It was great to see my brother and his family. This was the first real outing since my step-dad's surgery and both he and my mom looked well. Despite our short visit with family, I was so blessed to be with family on the holiday.
* After Christmas T and I drove a second vehicle down to Florida with mom and step-dad. The drive down was long and challenging and included a run-away u-haul trailer that crossed the median a car in front of us on I75! I was just glad that T didn't want to log anymore permit practice hours.
* T and I spent a week with my parents in Florida lounging around and being blessed to have family and our youth ;) I read four books during the week! T and I went to Epcot where I became the worst mom ever - navigating crowds and leaving him behind!
* Many changes at work which have lead to significant transition. I even applied for a supervisor position that I still believe I maintain I don't ever want. But it is the year of 13 and maybe a year of change. So who knows.
* As a parent I am struggling with T turning 16 in a few months and whether or not he should get his license. The thought of purchasing a new car for myself with a car payment and insurance for him makes me want to hurl. Since he is only a sophomore and unemployed, I am leaning toward keeping him permitted to avoid having to pay for insurance for the time being.
* MS and I are still dating. As I was in Florida for the New Year, I hoped it would be better to start the year off apart and not repeat our previous New Year. Unfortunately, this year I had some serious deep thoughts and it didn't lead to good times on the relationship front. Whether it was commitment related, reality related or just stagnation; nevertheless, all is continuing, status quo.
* I went and saw Flashdance on Broadway! AG gave me two free tickets! I was super excited to be back in the theater and loved every minute of the show!
* It has been two years since MS and I planned a Spring Break together. We didn't end up going last time. I wonder if this time will have better results. I can guarantee they will be different. We shall see. Again planning on a last minute vacation opportunity with MS and I and two 16 year old boys on a road trip across America. What fun, right? Ummm....I'll get back to you on that one.
So I think that basically sums up the past few months. I can't believe it is officially February 1, 2013. How time seems to fly.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, February 1, 2013
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Parenting a Fifteen Year Old...
T and I are...very alike. Primarily, we are both very independent and very...anti-social. Don't get me wrong. Sure I can talk and I can mingle, but I prefer to stick with the known. For work, I can easily spend hours engaging with new people, that is my job. But, my personal life I am very different. I am honest and loyal and struggle with trusting others. I believe that T has all these same traits, and for that, I am sad.
I wish that T was carefree. I wish that he would meet and engage with others. I don't know if it is a result of genetics or the back and forth homes of separated parents. I tire trying to understand the why. Maybe it is just kids these days. They are tech savvy and communication with friends is through gaming or texting. I didn't have those devices. We met people and went out with friends. We rode bikes and climbed trees. We worked.
T and I have battled it out in our style, which is me with a semi-stern voice, about his lack of communication. That I don't appreciate the one word responses that are oh so common with teens. The vacation was good as the lack of computer and cell phone service for him, forced us to spend quality time together. Of course the 40 plus hours in the car definitely added to that, although again T is like me. If a passenger, he will sleep.
T completed his Freshman year with excellent grades. He has decided to only play baseball, which I can admit I am disappointed for his sake. Trust me I love not having to transport and observe! His class schedule is incredibly hard, but being a teen, he waits until the last minute to complete his summer homework for his Advanced Placement class! T took his AP test for college transfer credit last Spring and passed! Of course we have no idea if it will actually count for anything if and when he goes to college.
T finally participated in Driver's Training. He has his Level I permit. Driver's Education was a blast, not really. But we survived the three week, four nights a week plus drive time and observation schedule. We now are in the logging phase. I don't have to insure him until he receives his actual driver's license, so I am beginning to think he will always have a permit! Actually, State Farm has a program for youth under 25 that if you complete a drivers log (20 drives in 60 days) you receive a discount. They also have a discount for a student getting good grades! Any savings will definitely help!
School baseball and community baseball wrapped up shortly after the 4th of July. T was more than ready to be done - having felt that he had been practicing since Christmas! I was glad for it to be done too!
Earlier this week T started Phase II of his braces. Twenty some odd months, with more than half of that time requiring intensive rubber band work. I have to say, the pain has been more than miserable for him. I only hope that the braces allow his back teeth to touch!
I am blessed to have a wonderful, healthy, happy, honest, humorous and smart young man (to name a few). I am blessed each day. As he inches closer to 16...I can only wait to see what the future holds for him.
I wish that T was carefree. I wish that he would meet and engage with others. I don't know if it is a result of genetics or the back and forth homes of separated parents. I tire trying to understand the why. Maybe it is just kids these days. They are tech savvy and communication with friends is through gaming or texting. I didn't have those devices. We met people and went out with friends. We rode bikes and climbed trees. We worked.
T and I have battled it out in our style, which is me with a semi-stern voice, about his lack of communication. That I don't appreciate the one word responses that are oh so common with teens. The vacation was good as the lack of computer and cell phone service for him, forced us to spend quality time together. Of course the 40 plus hours in the car definitely added to that, although again T is like me. If a passenger, he will sleep.
T completed his Freshman year with excellent grades. He has decided to only play baseball, which I can admit I am disappointed for his sake. Trust me I love not having to transport and observe! His class schedule is incredibly hard, but being a teen, he waits until the last minute to complete his summer homework for his Advanced Placement class! T took his AP test for college transfer credit last Spring and passed! Of course we have no idea if it will actually count for anything if and when he goes to college.
T finally participated in Driver's Training. He has his Level I permit. Driver's Education was a blast, not really. But we survived the three week, four nights a week plus drive time and observation schedule. We now are in the logging phase. I don't have to insure him until he receives his actual driver's license, so I am beginning to think he will always have a permit! Actually, State Farm has a program for youth under 25 that if you complete a drivers log (20 drives in 60 days) you receive a discount. They also have a discount for a student getting good grades! Any savings will definitely help!
School baseball and community baseball wrapped up shortly after the 4th of July. T was more than ready to be done - having felt that he had been practicing since Christmas! I was glad for it to be done too!
Earlier this week T started Phase II of his braces. Twenty some odd months, with more than half of that time requiring intensive rubber band work. I have to say, the pain has been more than miserable for him. I only hope that the braces allow his back teeth to touch!
I am blessed to have a wonderful, healthy, happy, honest, humorous and smart young man (to name a few). I am blessed each day. As he inches closer to 16...I can only wait to see what the future holds for him.
Family Vacation - South Dakota
I am not sure how I forgot how my life was so impacted by K for those three months. My life revolved around K and his needs and appointments while in the midst of baseball season for T. Balancing was becoming a juggling act and I know that T and my needs were smoldering from the heat of the back burner.
So I was looking forward to the time when K was going to move to his new family. June. Summer would then be filled with going back to our routine lifestyle of baseball, baseball and more baseball. T needed to get in driver's training and then of course planning some much needed vacations!
With T with his dad for two weeks, that allowed me to go to Aruba with MS. It also allowed for me to plan a cross country vacation with T to South Dakota to visit my brother and family. Initially the trip was my mom's idea; however, due to her husband's ailing health and acceptance to the list for a liver transplant, she needed to be home with my step dad. Always wanting to see Mount Rushmore, I still planned the trip with just T.
T finished up driver's training just before his time with his dad and then our vacation. He would be able to log in some serious driving hours from Michigan to South Dakota. We took our time driving out to South Dakota, staying in Minnesota the first evening. We arrived at my brother's house mid-day on a Tuesday. I was excited to spend time with my brother and his family. We see each other for holidays or during the summer, but have never spent significant amounts of time together. I was eager to spend time with my two nephews (8 and 6) and my niece (almost 2).
On Thursday, we drove across South Dakota en route to Mount Rushmore. T and I drove separately as we didn't have a vehicle large enough for seven of us, which allowed us some much needed quiet time! We stopped at Corn Palace, Wall Drug and the Badlands. We visited Mount Rushmore and Sylvan Lake. We were able to spend a day hiking the '76 trail and several trails nearby. We also spent a day at a water park, went to a cowboy show, saw my oldest nephew's first football game and bonded with the kids!
T and I had a great time. There were many stories that could be told which I will keep them off the blog. We loved Sylvan Lake and the picturesque views. T loved that he could swim and climb rock formations. Mount Rushmore was a bucket list success! The entire trip was a success of bucket list adventures! T and I shared many laughs which turned into tears strolling down my face! So many wonderful memories to cherish! By the drive home, T and I were both overly exhausted from driving. He chose not to drive when given the option. In less than a month, T has completed more than the required 30 hours of driving! And fortunately, we didn't have any car issues!
So I was looking forward to the time when K was going to move to his new family. June. Summer would then be filled with going back to our routine lifestyle of baseball, baseball and more baseball. T needed to get in driver's training and then of course planning some much needed vacations!
With T with his dad for two weeks, that allowed me to go to Aruba with MS. It also allowed for me to plan a cross country vacation with T to South Dakota to visit my brother and family. Initially the trip was my mom's idea; however, due to her husband's ailing health and acceptance to the list for a liver transplant, she needed to be home with my step dad. Always wanting to see Mount Rushmore, I still planned the trip with just T.
T finished up driver's training just before his time with his dad and then our vacation. He would be able to log in some serious driving hours from Michigan to South Dakota. We took our time driving out to South Dakota, staying in Minnesota the first evening. We arrived at my brother's house mid-day on a Tuesday. I was excited to spend time with my brother and his family. We see each other for holidays or during the summer, but have never spent significant amounts of time together. I was eager to spend time with my two nephews (8 and 6) and my niece (almost 2).
On Thursday, we drove across South Dakota en route to Mount Rushmore. T and I drove separately as we didn't have a vehicle large enough for seven of us, which allowed us some much needed quiet time! We stopped at Corn Palace, Wall Drug and the Badlands. We visited Mount Rushmore and Sylvan Lake. We were able to spend a day hiking the '76 trail and several trails nearby. We also spent a day at a water park, went to a cowboy show, saw my oldest nephew's first football game and bonded with the kids!
T and I had a great time. There were many stories that could be told which I will keep them off the blog. We loved Sylvan Lake and the picturesque views. T loved that he could swim and climb rock formations. Mount Rushmore was a bucket list success! The entire trip was a success of bucket list adventures! T and I shared many laughs which turned into tears strolling down my face! So many wonderful memories to cherish! By the drive home, T and I were both overly exhausted from driving. He chose not to drive when given the option. In less than a month, T has completed more than the required 30 hours of driving! And fortunately, we didn't have any car issues!
Fostering: The "Three Days" Experience
I just realized that one of the major reasons I stopped blogging was that I accepted placement of a teen foster child. And until now, I have never blogged about the experience. I truly believe that a piece of my heart and soul left when K left. Similar to the overnight experience where I took two young children home from my office at 10:15p.m. because we couldn't find homes and the children were trashing our office and we all needed sleep, I thought I could help. Temporarily.
Due to confidentiality, ailing memory and time passed, the memories and experiences with K are already diminishing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and hope the best for him. I hope that I impacted his life in a positive way and yet my greatest fear is that I caused more harm than good.
You see, I am a licensed foster parent who is only interested in providing short term, emergency or respite care. I want to be able to aid other foster families in a time of need. I want to be able to help workers when placements can't be secured immediately. However, selfishly, I want to enjoy being a "part-time" parent. I have joint custody of my son, which means that a little less than half the time, he is with his father. Therefore, I am a single. No longer just a "single parent". During my childless days I often work late hours or spend time with MS. I don't parent my child full-time and I clearly don't have the desire to parent someone else's child full-time. I say this honestly and truthfully. I know what my limitations are. I also know that deep down, when push comes to shove, I will put my own needs, wants and desires to the side for others.
And one day in early March, after facilitating a meeting, I decided that I could assist a youth for a couple of days until a foster home could be secured. Returning home wasn't an option and he didn't need/deserve to stay where he was. I thought...three days. Three days. I can do this.
Unfortunately the potential placements for K didn't work out. I'm not really sure how in my decade and a half of children's services work I had convinced myself that finding a home for an African American, special needs teenage boy with pending charges would be easy and achieved in three days! Naive. As K attended school near my house, I thought that a few days was doable that he could go to school and all would be well. After three days, there were still no local options for placement. Due to K's needs, he would be bussed to the school anywhere in the county, but finding a home in the county was no longer obtainable. A family stepped forward to accept placement of K, having known him from school. The family was eager to become licensed to accept placement. Three months. Three months. I can do this.
Meanwhile, I focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. I tried to work diligently with the other family and wanted them to get to know K so the transition would go well. The family didn't seem too interested. They had a few visits that had gone well. I continued to have my moments with K. Due to speech and language issues, K could be very loud. This was extremely difficult for T and I asked for replacement. I battled with doing so and finally had a talk with K about his behaviors and how screaming would not be allowed. If he screamed, he would have to pay me .25 every time. Surprisingly, motivated by money, this worked most of the time. That is until K would scream that I was "stealing his money", despite the fact that I only touched his money when he asked me to help count it, or to put it away.
I always reiterated with K that my home was a temporary home. Kids only come to stay for a very short while. Never once did I imply to K that he could stay with me. K also had visits with his family which were very inconsistent. This caused me more issue than K with scheduling, transportation and my work. K definitely seemed to be bonding to me. In many ways he was like a young child struggling with separation from me. He always wanted me to do things with him. No one else could do it like me, even though others could do things better - like throw a football! He no longer had interest in video games and constantly wanted my attention. I was emotionally drained. MS still lived an hour away at the time, so I was constantly on the "go" mode. I didn't have my own downtime. I was parenting full time. We had mastered how to make counseling a little more effective with me being an active participant as the foster parent, interpreter and at times it felt like the therapist. I can't honestly say that counseling was beneficial though.
MS was as supportive as possible. Having K had it's good moments too! He definitely made us laugh. From his constant, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" to his anger outbursts and threats of "I'M GONNA THROW FIT!!!" I knew what K was capable of, but I also knew that he would never hurt me. He had never personally threatened me. He had threatened to break things in the home or punch holes in the wall, but the concrete walls were too much of a match for him! My house and my heart appeared a perfect match for him!
Finally the family was ready for K. Unfortunately, K wasn't ready for them. Ultimately, the placement failed. Despite my attempts to be a support for the family and to aid in the transition, there was nothing that could be done to salvage the placement. K needed an emergency placement. K wanted to be in my home. I felt the guilt. I agreed to one night but knew that a subsequent home for K would not be likely. His threats of harming police and professionals would not be welcome. School was drawing to an end. I had not planned on K being with me for the summer. What was I to do with an almost 14 year old special needs child while I worked full-time. K wanted to stay home. I told him that if he were going to stay at my house for any length of time, he would have to go to summer day camp while I worked. He agreed. For the two days before summer camp began.
I couldn't emotionally handle daily and nightly struggles with K about him dictating what he would or wouldn't do. I asked for him to be moved. It had already been determined that his being in my home was a bad thing. Bad because as I was told, "Whatever you did. However you did it. You succeeded. K bonded to you." And therefore, any potential placement would be sabotaged by K so that he would return to my house. Unfortunately, K will not graduate from high school. He will need some care for the rest of his life. I cannot commit to K. I can commit to love him and be a support or a respite for him, but not his caregiver. Not his parent. Ultimately, the placement disrupted. K then blew through several other possible placements within hours and ended up full circle back to where he started when I agreed to take him for three days.
They won't let me see him. They won't let him call me. I am following the rules. Part of my heart is broken. As I type this I have difficulty seeing through the tears. I loved K. I love K. But I know that I can't be K's mom. As much as K wants this. I battled back and forth. If MS could help me out now living closer and our teen boys could help and...and then I realize that they didn't sign up for this. I did. And as much as I want the best for K, I know that K is not the best for me and T.
I did receive a letter, a month after K wrote it. I cried. He apologized and wants to come back here to live. I have no doubt about that. But I can't give K what he needs long term. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have K in my life. It has been 2.5 months since K left. I still miss him, but every day is a little less. There are constant reminders of him. I feel the void. I wonder if he is capable of feeling it too.
Due to confidentiality, ailing memory and time passed, the memories and experiences with K are already diminishing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and hope the best for him. I hope that I impacted his life in a positive way and yet my greatest fear is that I caused more harm than good.
You see, I am a licensed foster parent who is only interested in providing short term, emergency or respite care. I want to be able to aid other foster families in a time of need. I want to be able to help workers when placements can't be secured immediately. However, selfishly, I want to enjoy being a "part-time" parent. I have joint custody of my son, which means that a little less than half the time, he is with his father. Therefore, I am a single. No longer just a "single parent". During my childless days I often work late hours or spend time with MS. I don't parent my child full-time and I clearly don't have the desire to parent someone else's child full-time. I say this honestly and truthfully. I know what my limitations are. I also know that deep down, when push comes to shove, I will put my own needs, wants and desires to the side for others.
And one day in early March, after facilitating a meeting, I decided that I could assist a youth for a couple of days until a foster home could be secured. Returning home wasn't an option and he didn't need/deserve to stay where he was. I thought...three days. Three days. I can do this.
Unfortunately the potential placements for K didn't work out. I'm not really sure how in my decade and a half of children's services work I had convinced myself that finding a home for an African American, special needs teenage boy with pending charges would be easy and achieved in three days! Naive. As K attended school near my house, I thought that a few days was doable that he could go to school and all would be well. After three days, there were still no local options for placement. Due to K's needs, he would be bussed to the school anywhere in the county, but finding a home in the county was no longer obtainable. A family stepped forward to accept placement of K, having known him from school. The family was eager to become licensed to accept placement. Three months. Three months. I can do this.
Meanwhile, I focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. I tried to work diligently with the other family and wanted them to get to know K so the transition would go well. The family didn't seem too interested. They had a few visits that had gone well. I continued to have my moments with K. Due to speech and language issues, K could be very loud. This was extremely difficult for T and I asked for replacement. I battled with doing so and finally had a talk with K about his behaviors and how screaming would not be allowed. If he screamed, he would have to pay me .25 every time. Surprisingly, motivated by money, this worked most of the time. That is until K would scream that I was "stealing his money", despite the fact that I only touched his money when he asked me to help count it, or to put it away.
I always reiterated with K that my home was a temporary home. Kids only come to stay for a very short while. Never once did I imply to K that he could stay with me. K also had visits with his family which were very inconsistent. This caused me more issue than K with scheduling, transportation and my work. K definitely seemed to be bonding to me. In many ways he was like a young child struggling with separation from me. He always wanted me to do things with him. No one else could do it like me, even though others could do things better - like throw a football! He no longer had interest in video games and constantly wanted my attention. I was emotionally drained. MS still lived an hour away at the time, so I was constantly on the "go" mode. I didn't have my own downtime. I was parenting full time. We had mastered how to make counseling a little more effective with me being an active participant as the foster parent, interpreter and at times it felt like the therapist. I can't honestly say that counseling was beneficial though.
MS was as supportive as possible. Having K had it's good moments too! He definitely made us laugh. From his constant, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" to his anger outbursts and threats of "I'M GONNA THROW FIT!!!" I knew what K was capable of, but I also knew that he would never hurt me. He had never personally threatened me. He had threatened to break things in the home or punch holes in the wall, but the concrete walls were too much of a match for him! My house and my heart appeared a perfect match for him!
Finally the family was ready for K. Unfortunately, K wasn't ready for them. Ultimately, the placement failed. Despite my attempts to be a support for the family and to aid in the transition, there was nothing that could be done to salvage the placement. K needed an emergency placement. K wanted to be in my home. I felt the guilt. I agreed to one night but knew that a subsequent home for K would not be likely. His threats of harming police and professionals would not be welcome. School was drawing to an end. I had not planned on K being with me for the summer. What was I to do with an almost 14 year old special needs child while I worked full-time. K wanted to stay home. I told him that if he were going to stay at my house for any length of time, he would have to go to summer day camp while I worked. He agreed. For the two days before summer camp began.
I couldn't emotionally handle daily and nightly struggles with K about him dictating what he would or wouldn't do. I asked for him to be moved. It had already been determined that his being in my home was a bad thing. Bad because as I was told, "Whatever you did. However you did it. You succeeded. K bonded to you." And therefore, any potential placement would be sabotaged by K so that he would return to my house. Unfortunately, K will not graduate from high school. He will need some care for the rest of his life. I cannot commit to K. I can commit to love him and be a support or a respite for him, but not his caregiver. Not his parent. Ultimately, the placement disrupted. K then blew through several other possible placements within hours and ended up full circle back to where he started when I agreed to take him for three days.
They won't let me see him. They won't let him call me. I am following the rules. Part of my heart is broken. As I type this I have difficulty seeing through the tears. I loved K. I love K. But I know that I can't be K's mom. As much as K wants this. I battled back and forth. If MS could help me out now living closer and our teen boys could help and...and then I realize that they didn't sign up for this. I did. And as much as I want the best for K, I know that K is not the best for me and T.
I did receive a letter, a month after K wrote it. I cried. He apologized and wants to come back here to live. I have no doubt about that. But I can't give K what he needs long term. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have K in my life. It has been 2.5 months since K left. I still miss him, but every day is a little less. There are constant reminders of him. I feel the void. I wonder if he is capable of feeling it too.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
G-Men & The Super Bowl
Tonight at dinner my son and I were having a discussion about who is going to win the Super Bowl. Of course I answered with the "New" team. 'Cause that's how I roll. Regardless, T started abbreviating the names of the teams. He said that the Giants are called the G-Men. He then for some reason said it would be weird for New England to be called the N-Men, at which point I inquired why they wouldn't be the P-Men.
Then T says, "So what would the chargers be called?" Not hesitating to think about it...I responded, "C-Men".
At which point my almost 15 year old son burst out laughing. I could only join in the laughter that I am getting too old to realize the joke about semen.
Then T says, "So what would the chargers be called?" Not hesitating to think about it...I responded, "C-Men".
At which point my almost 15 year old son burst out laughing. I could only join in the laughter that I am getting too old to realize the joke about semen.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Popped Circuits
Popped Circuits or blown fuses...I can only imagine what is next on the horizon, and dare I say it? But bring it on. If this is my challenge, I can get through it!
I can't believe how long it has been since my last post, although a little more recent than any consistent exercise! Things have been busy, but nothing too terribly crazy.
Little League World Series was a great time. T and I survived our last jaunt before school starting. Even "Tropical Storm Irene" didn't interfere too much: one consolation game cancellation and a rain delay. Two of my tires were low at one truck stop and fortunately I noticed and T used his tire knowledge to get us back on the road without issue.
School is in full swing. I have to say that I am glad T is out of the house and back into a routine. I think we function best with structure, even though I would love it if I didn't have to go into work five days a week and still received a pay check! His classes are uber difficult but he is managing, so far. Not so sure that Advanced Placement was the best option, but I am glad he is being challenged.
On the home front, my washing machine crashed last week. I am sure it was just a belt, but after 14 years it seemed due time to upgrade to a new set. I haven't managed to read the manuals yet - but the thought of a washer washing FOURTEEN pairs of jeans at a time? OMG I tore out the rest of the back fence and had a couple awesome bonfires at MS'. I managed to brand my toe with the poker and learned that fire tending in sandals isn't the smartest idea. I priced out new fencing and decided, maybe I don't need a fence right now. I purchased a few privacy trees to plant instead. After coming home on Monday, my dehumidifier was no longer working. I realized while the washer and dryer were being installed that a circuit had popped.
As the basement is pretty damp, I figured I was due for a new dehumidifier too. I purchased a new one on Monday night and am amazed at the power! I moved the dehumidifier into the den area last night and this morning I was astonished that the bucket was almost half full! I emptied it out in the wash basin and noticed the water wasn't draining well. Then I noticed that the floor drain wasn't working and all of the water went right to the floor and the carpet. Sigh...I checked the circuits and a different circuit was popped. So I turned it back on and the sump worked. Cleaned up the free standing water and now have a fan and the dehumidifier running to dry everything out. Two circuits popped in less than a week? What is going on?
I volunteered to keep JA company and join her in a 5k walk this Saturday. I thought it would motivate me to start exercising and make a dent in the extra 15 pounds I would LOVE to lose. Unfortunately it is mind over matter. I have walked a couple times and even rode the stationary bike while playing Galaga. I just am not exercising as much as I should. I am saddened that four years ago I was training for the 3 Day (60 miles in 3 days) and now I can't even get motivated to walk 3 Miles! I am looking forward to spending some time with JA and bringing back the memories of our walking days!
MS and I are doing well. Hard to imagine that we will have been dating ONE year this month. Our anniversary will be celebrated together at his brother's wedding, where he is the best man. Of course I have less than 1.5 weeks and I have absolutely no idea what to wear! The ceremony will be "brief" and outside in a park. As of last weekend, there are 213 people confirmed. TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN! What in the world do I wear? Beyond an outfit (and that famous week before of the month) I am trying not to assess what MS and I are doing. Where are we headed? While walking to the store on Sunday, MS pointed out a vacant lot on his street and suggested I could build a house on it and we could be neighbors. Maybe that got me thinking...
Work is work. There has been much drama lately and many people leaving the office due to the new "Acting Director". I don't recall ever blogging about it, but much of my personal angst began after the passing of my father when I received an anonymous typed note in my mailbox of an excerpt from an article about angry co-workers and borderline personality. I brought the issue to the attention of my Union Rep as I didn't want anymore harassment, although I couldn't say for sure who. Then I had several discussions with Supervisors. Things continued on a short downward spiral briefly thereafter. I was asked if I would move offices and now I feel like I am in a "timeout" as I sit in the corner and face the corner. I also received a note in my office of a dress code violation. This too shall pass and things are getting a little better. I would love to have a more appreciative and rewarding job - personally, professionally and financially. I am thankful for the employment and the ability to pay my bills and afford the extras that I choose and that choose for me (washer, dryer, dehumidifier...). I love the fact that I only work three miles from home. I know I hold myself back from wanting more, but what is it that I want?
It is hard to believe that tomorrow will be two months since my father passed. I am so glad that he is no longer suffering. It amazes me how much stress his health, his relationship with his wife and our relationships really affected me.
All in all, there isn't anything to complain about. A few bumps along the way, but life has been good. Two popped circuits so far. Whatever is next, I can handle it!
I can't believe how long it has been since my last post, although a little more recent than any consistent exercise! Things have been busy, but nothing too terribly crazy.
Little League World Series was a great time. T and I survived our last jaunt before school starting. Even "Tropical Storm Irene" didn't interfere too much: one consolation game cancellation and a rain delay. Two of my tires were low at one truck stop and fortunately I noticed and T used his tire knowledge to get us back on the road without issue.
School is in full swing. I have to say that I am glad T is out of the house and back into a routine. I think we function best with structure, even though I would love it if I didn't have to go into work five days a week and still received a pay check! His classes are uber difficult but he is managing, so far. Not so sure that Advanced Placement was the best option, but I am glad he is being challenged.
On the home front, my washing machine crashed last week. I am sure it was just a belt, but after 14 years it seemed due time to upgrade to a new set. I haven't managed to read the manuals yet - but the thought of a washer washing FOURTEEN pairs of jeans at a time? OMG I tore out the rest of the back fence and had a couple awesome bonfires at MS'. I managed to brand my toe with the poker and learned that fire tending in sandals isn't the smartest idea. I priced out new fencing and decided, maybe I don't need a fence right now. I purchased a few privacy trees to plant instead. After coming home on Monday, my dehumidifier was no longer working. I realized while the washer and dryer were being installed that a circuit had popped.
As the basement is pretty damp, I figured I was due for a new dehumidifier too. I purchased a new one on Monday night and am amazed at the power! I moved the dehumidifier into the den area last night and this morning I was astonished that the bucket was almost half full! I emptied it out in the wash basin and noticed the water wasn't draining well. Then I noticed that the floor drain wasn't working and all of the water went right to the floor and the carpet. Sigh...I checked the circuits and a different circuit was popped. So I turned it back on and the sump worked. Cleaned up the free standing water and now have a fan and the dehumidifier running to dry everything out. Two circuits popped in less than a week? What is going on?
I volunteered to keep JA company and join her in a 5k walk this Saturday. I thought it would motivate me to start exercising and make a dent in the extra 15 pounds I would LOVE to lose. Unfortunately it is mind over matter. I have walked a couple times and even rode the stationary bike while playing Galaga. I just am not exercising as much as I should. I am saddened that four years ago I was training for the 3 Day (60 miles in 3 days) and now I can't even get motivated to walk 3 Miles! I am looking forward to spending some time with JA and bringing back the memories of our walking days!
MS and I are doing well. Hard to imagine that we will have been dating ONE year this month. Our anniversary will be celebrated together at his brother's wedding, where he is the best man. Of course I have less than 1.5 weeks and I have absolutely no idea what to wear! The ceremony will be "brief" and outside in a park. As of last weekend, there are 213 people confirmed. TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN! What in the world do I wear? Beyond an outfit (and that famous week before of the month) I am trying not to assess what MS and I are doing. Where are we headed? While walking to the store on Sunday, MS pointed out a vacant lot on his street and suggested I could build a house on it and we could be neighbors. Maybe that got me thinking...
Work is work. There has been much drama lately and many people leaving the office due to the new "Acting Director". I don't recall ever blogging about it, but much of my personal angst began after the passing of my father when I received an anonymous typed note in my mailbox of an excerpt from an article about angry co-workers and borderline personality. I brought the issue to the attention of my Union Rep as I didn't want anymore harassment, although I couldn't say for sure who. Then I had several discussions with Supervisors. Things continued on a short downward spiral briefly thereafter. I was asked if I would move offices and now I feel like I am in a "timeout" as I sit in the corner and face the corner. I also received a note in my office of a dress code violation. This too shall pass and things are getting a little better. I would love to have a more appreciative and rewarding job - personally, professionally and financially. I am thankful for the employment and the ability to pay my bills and afford the extras that I choose and that choose for me (washer, dryer, dehumidifier...). I love the fact that I only work three miles from home. I know I hold myself back from wanting more, but what is it that I want?
It is hard to believe that tomorrow will be two months since my father passed. I am so glad that he is no longer suffering. It amazes me how much stress his health, his relationship with his wife and our relationships really affected me.
All in all, there isn't anything to complain about. A few bumps along the way, but life has been good. Two popped circuits so far. Whatever is next, I can handle it!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Little League World Series Roadtrip
As if I haven't had enough of baseball this year, a mother's love in never ending! When I arrived back in the states from our trip to Mexico, T texted and asked when he was with me for our week of vacation. He wanted to go to the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
Seeing that the return from my vacation with MS butted up to the weekend of respite of fostering and then my father's funeral, I told T to do some research. While he did some, the brunt of the research was done by...me. I spent this past weekend looking into hotel options and distance and juggling of my work schedule.
Effective today, I will be taking off Friday and Monday to take T to the Little League World Series. Tonight we booked a hotel for Friday and Saturday night nearby and a hotel en route home for Sunday night. I am sure we will pack up the car on Thursday night and head east, no need to make anymore plans or pack until the very last minute. T and I have a bowling marathon to tend to tomorrow and Wednesday I hope to get together with some friends out of town. I plan on working a full day Thursday. We will plan on stopping at my parent's Thursday night - two hours closer to Williamsport.
I am looking forward to the last minute getaway weekend with T before school starts. While I hope we do more than watch five games of baseball, at least it will be better than the constant games we have been watching on t.v.! I love last minute improv getways! Cheers to adventure!
Seeing that the return from my vacation with MS butted up to the weekend of respite of fostering and then my father's funeral, I told T to do some research. While he did some, the brunt of the research was done by...me. I spent this past weekend looking into hotel options and distance and juggling of my work schedule.
Effective today, I will be taking off Friday and Monday to take T to the Little League World Series. Tonight we booked a hotel for Friday and Saturday night nearby and a hotel en route home for Sunday night. I am sure we will pack up the car on Thursday night and head east, no need to make anymore plans or pack until the very last minute. T and I have a bowling marathon to tend to tomorrow and Wednesday I hope to get together with some friends out of town. I plan on working a full day Thursday. We will plan on stopping at my parent's Thursday night - two hours closer to Williamsport.
I am looking forward to the last minute getaway weekend with T before school starts. While I hope we do more than watch five games of baseball, at least it will be better than the constant games we have been watching on t.v.! I love last minute improv getways! Cheers to adventure!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Fishing
Thursday night, MS came down for T's first game of his final tournament. After the brutal loss, we debated on where to eat. Of course I had told MS that T would probably chose Red Robin, which in fact he did. The dining experience was, as I told the manager, an epic fail. The waiter was clearly out of his comfort zone and should find another job. The food was ill prepared and the waiter repeatedly lied trying to cover up his own errors which infuriated me even more. The manager paid for our meal and gave us $30 in gift certificates. If it weren't for T's love of the Freckled Lemonade, I don't know that I would venture back again.
MS purchased a fishing boat this week. We were on the lookout for a fishing boat and MS finally found one on Craigs List which he picked up on Wednesday. MS had been telling T all summer that he can show T where to catch BIG fish. So Thursday night, T decided he wanted to stay the night at MS' so that they could go fishing when MS got home from work. Unfortunately I had to work all day Friday, so I couldn't stay the night or go fishing. I have to admit, I might have been a little jealous as well as nervous that T was going out on a fishing boat that MS had yet to take out on the water. Fortunately all went well.
And as for my jealousy of wishing I was staying the night, well I survived. As for my jealousy of T having fun or catching fish without me, rest assured, T still loves his mom and didn't have that much fun. While T had fun singing to MS and entertaining him, there is something to be said about the bond between a mother and child.
Our bond. Love.
MS purchased a fishing boat this week. We were on the lookout for a fishing boat and MS finally found one on Craigs List which he picked up on Wednesday. MS had been telling T all summer that he can show T where to catch BIG fish. So Thursday night, T decided he wanted to stay the night at MS' so that they could go fishing when MS got home from work. Unfortunately I had to work all day Friday, so I couldn't stay the night or go fishing. I have to admit, I might have been a little jealous as well as nervous that T was going out on a fishing boat that MS had yet to take out on the water. Fortunately all went well.
And as for my jealousy of wishing I was staying the night, well I survived. As for my jealousy of T having fun or catching fish without me, rest assured, T still loves his mom and didn't have that much fun. While T had fun singing to MS and entertaining him, there is something to be said about the bond between a mother and child.
Our bond. Love.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Perfect Timing To Be...
In the midst of craziness of Little League regular season finishing, team tournaments, Allstar tournaments and T's weekend travel tournament team, I am almost at the point of no return of baseball. The last minute craziness of scheduled practices, the lack of communication and the forgetfulness of a fourteen year old with his baseball equipment dispersed between homes, I am at my limit!
In addition to baseball there is the little nuances of the latest round of hidden drama of an ailing father and his wife's adolescent behavior and lack of communication toppled on top of a job of no return or reward. The job issues shall pass - since they are crisis related for the most part - but the surmounting frustration of recruiting and retaining when the reality of people's lives, family and abuse occur leaves the situation prospects rather dismal.
While the much needed vacation could come sooner, I am definitely welcoming the vacation that MS planned for just the two of us, seven days/six nights (cutting a night short to return to motherhood and a respite foster care placement) in Riviera Maya, Mexico.
We are staying at one of the adult only resorts of karismahotels. While I went to the Riviera Maya in 2008 and stayed at an Iberostar with JN, we never left the resort. MS and I are hoping to travel and venture to Cancun and Playa Del Carmen. He would like to go deep sea fishing and we both would like to parasail. He would also love to play some golf which I said would be a great solo opportunity for him :) but agreed that if he wanted company (and entertainment) I would golf with him! I can't wait for this much needed vacation. MS and I have been spending more time together when we can, but clearly this seven day vacation traveling out of the country shall test our relationship.
I believe that he and I are ready for this test.
In addition to baseball there is the little nuances of the latest round of hidden drama of an ailing father and his wife's adolescent behavior and lack of communication toppled on top of a job of no return or reward. The job issues shall pass - since they are crisis related for the most part - but the surmounting frustration of recruiting and retaining when the reality of people's lives, family and abuse occur leaves the situation prospects rather dismal.
While the much needed vacation could come sooner, I am definitely welcoming the vacation that MS planned for just the two of us, seven days/six nights (cutting a night short to return to motherhood and a respite foster care placement) in Riviera Maya, Mexico.
We are staying at one of the adult only resorts of karismahotels. While I went to the Riviera Maya in 2008 and stayed at an Iberostar with JN, we never left the resort. MS and I are hoping to travel and venture to Cancun and Playa Del Carmen. He would like to go deep sea fishing and we both would like to parasail. He would also love to play some golf which I said would be a great solo opportunity for him :) but agreed that if he wanted company (and entertainment) I would golf with him! I can't wait for this much needed vacation. MS and I have been spending more time together when we can, but clearly this seven day vacation traveling out of the country shall test our relationship.
I believe that he and I are ready for this test.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Welcome...Freshman
As of today, I am officially the proud mother of a high school FRESHMAN! T has graduated 8th grade with flying colors. He continues to amaze me with his independence, academics, athletics and great sportsmanship.
He decided that he is taking an Honors and an Advanced Placement class next year. I love the possibility that he can test for college credits from the AP class, but more importantly that he will be challenged and more prepared for college than I felt I had been.
So my baby boy, my growing son, at fourteen now stands at 5'7.5" and 133 pounds. If nothing else, I will always have age over him, unfortunately not intelligence or looks!
He decided that he is taking an Honors and an Advanced Placement class next year. I love the possibility that he can test for college credits from the AP class, but more importantly that he will be challenged and more prepared for college than I felt I had been.
So my baby boy, my growing son, at fourteen now stands at 5'7.5" and 133 pounds. If nothing else, I will always have age over him, unfortunately not intelligence or looks!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Spring Break 2011
How long ago Spring Break seems. It has been just over a month since we returned from our trip to Branson, Missouri. We purchased seasons passes to Silver Dollar City and were able to attend for the weekend of the Youth Christian weekend as well as the first day of World Fest.
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| Cave @ Silver Dollar City |
The weather was very nice and it was much needed to see sun and feel warmth. T and I got along fabulously. Our two bedroom condo was really a "lock out" which was a one bedroom unit and a studio unit joined with a locked door. So basically, T had his own apartment for a week. The condo was more than sufficient for the two of us.
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| T's Room |
The week went by far too quickly with lazy mornings and attending shows. We attended a vacation club program which of course I had to purchase. I still have yet to determine if it is scandalous - but afterall vacations are my passion. I can never travel or venture enough and if I can have access to better deals than I can find, it is well worth my dollar. Of course by going to the presentation we received many free and discounted show tickets that entertained us throughout the week. We attended the Haygoods (a family of musicians and singers), a variety show that was very entertaining that their name escapes me and a Chinese acrobatic show that we both could have done without! We attended another property presentation at T's request where we received $100 in WalMart gift cards and T got half.
We played miniature golf, checked out Branson's landing and attempted fishing. The week went by entirely way too fast! We stopped in St. Louis and went to the top of the Arch and went to the City Museum. We had a blast at the Museum and I would highly recommend it! We also went to the aquarium in the museum and T had a blast getting his "manicure" by the fish that nibbled on him!
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| City Museum - Outside - St. Louis, Missouri |
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| St. Louis Arch |
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| T's Manicure |
I didn't once regret my decision to not vacation with MS. We texted and talked on the phone throughout our entire vacation, but I just felt that T and I had a much more relaxed and enjoyable time on our own.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Car & Vacation
As if right on cue, my car decided it is going to have some issues. Totally OK with it, because I suppose we all need some fine tuning every so often and afterall my car will be 10 years old this year!
T and I finalized our vacation plans. We had been kicking around some ideas after we saw the last minute availability of inventory of my timeshare. But with a last minute change of plans, MS and his son will not be going with us. I am still struggling somewhat with the decision to not have them go, but I know that it is for the best.
MS's son not only broke his collar bone a few weeks back after getting slammed into a locker by "a friend" and is in a sling, but he was suspended from school for five days for bringing a pocket knife to school. MS and I definitely have different parenting skills. When I first met him, after our second date I decided we shouldn't go out again as MS has his son full time. No other parent involvement. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I just don't do full time parenting, especially of someone elses child. So after the latest incident and not seeing MS very often, 10 days of road tripping and a vacation didn't seem like a good idea.
So T and I will be heading about 11.5 hours south, hopefully warmer. Somewhere we went four years ago that for the first time in a decade they saw snowflakes during April. Hopefully we won't have that experience this time!
With MS not going on vacation, that means that I am driving my car. I considered a rental, but knew regardless the latest thunking noise needed to be assessed. Good thing I took it in. Another tie rod replacement and both arm bushings. Could have been MUCH worse.
So looking forward to a repaired car and another vacation adventure with just T and me!
T and I finalized our vacation plans. We had been kicking around some ideas after we saw the last minute availability of inventory of my timeshare. But with a last minute change of plans, MS and his son will not be going with us. I am still struggling somewhat with the decision to not have them go, but I know that it is for the best.
MS's son not only broke his collar bone a few weeks back after getting slammed into a locker by "a friend" and is in a sling, but he was suspended from school for five days for bringing a pocket knife to school. MS and I definitely have different parenting skills. When I first met him, after our second date I decided we shouldn't go out again as MS has his son full time. No other parent involvement. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I just don't do full time parenting, especially of someone elses child. So after the latest incident and not seeing MS very often, 10 days of road tripping and a vacation didn't seem like a good idea.
So T and I will be heading about 11.5 hours south, hopefully warmer. Somewhere we went four years ago that for the first time in a decade they saw snowflakes during April. Hopefully we won't have that experience this time!
With MS not going on vacation, that means that I am driving my car. I considered a rental, but knew regardless the latest thunking noise needed to be assessed. Good thing I took it in. Another tie rod replacement and both arm bushings. Could have been MUCH worse.
So looking forward to a repaired car and another vacation adventure with just T and me!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
T & Communication
For anyone who has followed my blog or read it, you are well aware that I have a teenage son, T. T has begun the final countdown until his 14th birthday. He recites the clothes that he is getting that have been tried on and purchased over the past month or so.
He is intelligent and articulate. He is almost responsible. He IS a good kid. He is after all a KID.
T and I have decent communication skills. I would even say that they are better than decent, that is until I realize that we aren't on the same page. That maybe it should be better. Maybe if I knew the right questions to ask without sounding like the psycho and/or nagging mother.
How exactly does a parent know when to ask the right questions and when to wait to be asked or told? When is a matter of meddling versus being concerned and interested?
Tonight at the dinner table I asked T what he thought of dinner. I tried a new fresco chicken sausage and wanted feedback. Personally, I didn't like it as much as the apple chicken sausage, but it wasn't bad. I had grilled it and sliced it on top of angel hair pasta with spaghetti sauce and fresh sauteed green peppers, onions and mushrooms. He didn't answer. I rephrased the question. He still didn't answer.
Then he said, "When do I get my retainer off?"
T has had a permanent retainer for several years as Phase I of his braces. The four frontal braces were removed almost two years ago, it's so hard to keep track of the time these days. To be honest, I am not really sure of the purpose of his retainer. I ask him why.
He replies, "Because it is hard to swallow."
There are tears welling in his eyes. He is struggling to swallow the pasta. He tells me this has been happening for...A MONTH. A MONTH?
I am so glad that he chooses to tell me now, a month later on a Thursday night. The orthodontist is closed on Friday. He has already gone a month, what is the rush to get him in soon?
Why is it that just when I might think I have this parenting gig under wrap, I get blindsided with another confirmation that I don't?
He is intelligent and articulate. He is almost responsible. He IS a good kid. He is after all a KID.
T and I have decent communication skills. I would even say that they are better than decent, that is until I realize that we aren't on the same page. That maybe it should be better. Maybe if I knew the right questions to ask without sounding like the psycho and/or nagging mother.
How exactly does a parent know when to ask the right questions and when to wait to be asked or told? When is a matter of meddling versus being concerned and interested?
Tonight at the dinner table I asked T what he thought of dinner. I tried a new fresco chicken sausage and wanted feedback. Personally, I didn't like it as much as the apple chicken sausage, but it wasn't bad. I had grilled it and sliced it on top of angel hair pasta with spaghetti sauce and fresh sauteed green peppers, onions and mushrooms. He didn't answer. I rephrased the question. He still didn't answer.
Then he said, "When do I get my retainer off?"
T has had a permanent retainer for several years as Phase I of his braces. The four frontal braces were removed almost two years ago, it's so hard to keep track of the time these days. To be honest, I am not really sure of the purpose of his retainer. I ask him why.
He replies, "Because it is hard to swallow."
There are tears welling in his eyes. He is struggling to swallow the pasta. He tells me this has been happening for...A MONTH. A MONTH?
I am so glad that he chooses to tell me now, a month later on a Thursday night. The orthodontist is closed on Friday. He has already gone a month, what is the rush to get him in soon?
Why is it that just when I might think I have this parenting gig under wrap, I get blindsided with another confirmation that I don't?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Basketball: The Winter of Baseball Equivalent
T has decided he loves basketball. The school season ended and a recreation tournament league was available and he was invited to join. The tournament is nine Saturdays. Practices are twice a week - Tuesdays and Fridays.
The tournaments are 35 minutes north in good weather. The tournament times will be divulged the Tuesday before the Saturday. The cost: $90 to play. Tonight we learn that the games this Saturday are at 4:30 and 5:30p.m.
Sigh. Basketball will last until baseball practices begin. Games can be as late as 7:30p.m. and they will only play two games, which should be back to back. Nine weeks of few plans on the weekends due to scheduling uncertainty.
I'm already feeling the drain. I'm feeling the frustration of baseball season. I've already told T that weekends he isn't with me, I likely won't be attending. I am finally reaching a point where I'm trying not to feel guilty for saying NO. Then I am far from Super Mom. I'm not perfect and if I'm going to maintain sanity, I will not be strapped to basketball games rather than enjoying MY weekends.
Having said that, I pick up T today and he says his dad may be busy with his other son and can I take him to the games Saturday? Hold firm. Hold firm. And of course I say, well let me know. Because ultimately T comes first. Fortunately for me, due to the late games his dad can take him!
The tournaments are 35 minutes north in good weather. The tournament times will be divulged the Tuesday before the Saturday. The cost: $90 to play. Tonight we learn that the games this Saturday are at 4:30 and 5:30p.m.
Sigh. Basketball will last until baseball practices begin. Games can be as late as 7:30p.m. and they will only play two games, which should be back to back. Nine weeks of few plans on the weekends due to scheduling uncertainty.
I'm already feeling the drain. I'm feeling the frustration of baseball season. I've already told T that weekends he isn't with me, I likely won't be attending. I am finally reaching a point where I'm trying not to feel guilty for saying NO. Then I am far from Super Mom. I'm not perfect and if I'm going to maintain sanity, I will not be strapped to basketball games rather than enjoying MY weekends.
Having said that, I pick up T today and he says his dad may be busy with his other son and can I take him to the games Saturday? Hold firm. Hold firm. And of course I say, well let me know. Because ultimately T comes first. Fortunately for me, due to the late games his dad can take him!
Update of Randomness
I have obviously been on a blogging hiatus. As usual, things I have thought about discussing I don't. I just find myself spending endless hours of mindless games of spades. I know I should be more productive and then I realize I don't know what I should be doing. Well working out is a good start but that leads to the whole want vs. need discussion. Then next I will find myself rambling about what came first, the chicken or the egg?
But now that it is mid-January: Not that I have an official date of dating or anything, but I think today could be three months of dating MS. Things are going well. I think Sunday we may have had our first disagreement and we survived. I can't even say it was a disagreement, just not seeing eye to eye. Then last night when dealing with a touchy subject and me disclosing, he laughed. I called him out on it to see if he really thought it was funny. He didn't. We must share the same emotion of laughter in awkward situations, whereas I probably would prefer to cry.
I am officially unsure about Essure. I had scheduled to have the Essure procedure next month and after reading reviews I decided foreign objects in my fallopian tubes was not a good idea. Especially given my reaction to sticking any form of metal into the holes in my ears. At least I can remove earrings! So I called the dr. today to change my mind and I was instructed I had to meet with him in person, again. I have officially changed the procedure since he fortunately had a cancellation and I met with him again today.
I continue on my medication mortification. I was prescribed Ambien to assist with my lack of sleeping. A little freaked out about the side effects, I decided vitamins, eating better and working out might be a better first option. I've actually been doing quite well on the sleeping and when I seldom have anything on my mind, I actually go to sleep quickly! The Ambien stares and taunts me daily from the shelf and I continue to try the natural way.
I was sent for a follow up with the GI since the issues that I had the colonoscopy in 2008 continue. After an exciting impromptu rectal exam to eliminate the possibility of a fissure I was sent home with more prescriptions. Twice a day suppositories and miralax or fiber or any other random stool softener. Since I wasn't capable of putting anything but my finger up my nose when I had "crusties", I clearly am not inserting anything up my...yeah that. So more medications not used. More prescriptions filled, sitting unopened.
Parenting. Ahhhh where to begin? My son claimed I tried to run him over with the car. Then I was "mean" when I laughed uncontrollably at the Wendy's drive thru when he asked me if he could get a "baked potato with sour cream and chips". I said NO that they don't come with chips. He said, "Not CHIPS, Chivs." Chives is officially now Chivs. Then later that night he randomly texts me about his dad paying a physical bill (which I verified today that MY insurance paid, not him!) and then a follow up text basically asking if the bf and I "did it" the other night and describing what he heard. What he heard was me in the bathroom going to the bathroom and washing my hands and then MS breathing heavy as he has extreme nasal polyps which then turned into atrocious snoring! Nope, what he heard was NOT us "DOING IT".
BUT...that did open a whole other can of worms as to why is my almost 14 year old texting me from the other parent's home inquiring if I had sex? I texted back that while odd to receive the text, we would discuss it in person when he came home. I called him today to inquire about the text at which point he began to sob uncontrollably. The conversation after we got home, much the same. He sobbed and cried uncontrollably. Teenage hormones! I figured more was going on. All he disclosed besides hearing noises (which we discussed and I informed the truth was not what he thought) was that his stepsister told him she was kicked out on 1/3. He feels left out that his dad didn't tell him. He cried more. We cried together. I told him that at times I feel like I'm failing at being a parent. That if he isn't happy living with me, I want him to be happy and he can live elsewhere. He said he is happiest with me. I stressed again the importance of honesty. Say what you mean and mean what you say. That I would rather hear the truth whether I like it or not than find out I was lied to. We cried some more. I thought girls were more emotional than boys?
Interesting start on the New Year. My job is again slowing down. I considered going back to school for my Masters but $17,000 and 18 months isn't worth trying to fill up some downtime at the office. I will be picking up work from my old position in the interim of new hirees being trained. Then my new boss asked if I wanted to be back up phones, which I did very briefly years ago and stopped without the proper training. Since cross training is becoming mandatory anyway, looks like I will be heading to several weeks of training in the near future! As long as I keep busy and can keep some sanity on some front, it will all balance out.
As of the latest on my dad...I've digressed. Or maybe I've just embraced acceptance again. I left a message on Christmas wishing he and his wife a Merry Christmas. I haven't heard back and I haven't called them again. I will. One day, I will. But if that one day doesn't happen, I won't be shedding any tears of regret. I have reached solace.
Sometimes it's best to close one chapter before moving on...
But now that it is mid-January: Not that I have an official date of dating or anything, but I think today could be three months of dating MS. Things are going well. I think Sunday we may have had our first disagreement and we survived. I can't even say it was a disagreement, just not seeing eye to eye. Then last night when dealing with a touchy subject and me disclosing, he laughed. I called him out on it to see if he really thought it was funny. He didn't. We must share the same emotion of laughter in awkward situations, whereas I probably would prefer to cry.
I am officially unsure about Essure. I had scheduled to have the Essure procedure next month and after reading reviews I decided foreign objects in my fallopian tubes was not a good idea. Especially given my reaction to sticking any form of metal into the holes in my ears. At least I can remove earrings! So I called the dr. today to change my mind and I was instructed I had to meet with him in person, again. I have officially changed the procedure since he fortunately had a cancellation and I met with him again today.
I continue on my medication mortification. I was prescribed Ambien to assist with my lack of sleeping. A little freaked out about the side effects, I decided vitamins, eating better and working out might be a better first option. I've actually been doing quite well on the sleeping and when I seldom have anything on my mind, I actually go to sleep quickly! The Ambien stares and taunts me daily from the shelf and I continue to try the natural way.
I was sent for a follow up with the GI since the issues that I had the colonoscopy in 2008 continue. After an exciting impromptu rectal exam to eliminate the possibility of a fissure I was sent home with more prescriptions. Twice a day suppositories and miralax or fiber or any other random stool softener. Since I wasn't capable of putting anything but my finger up my nose when I had "crusties", I clearly am not inserting anything up my...yeah that. So more medications not used. More prescriptions filled, sitting unopened.
Parenting. Ahhhh where to begin? My son claimed I tried to run him over with the car. Then I was "mean" when I laughed uncontrollably at the Wendy's drive thru when he asked me if he could get a "baked potato with sour cream and chips". I said NO that they don't come with chips. He said, "Not CHIPS, Chivs." Chives is officially now Chivs. Then later that night he randomly texts me about his dad paying a physical bill (which I verified today that MY insurance paid, not him!) and then a follow up text basically asking if the bf and I "did it" the other night and describing what he heard. What he heard was me in the bathroom going to the bathroom and washing my hands and then MS breathing heavy as he has extreme nasal polyps which then turned into atrocious snoring! Nope, what he heard was NOT us "DOING IT".
BUT...that did open a whole other can of worms as to why is my almost 14 year old texting me from the other parent's home inquiring if I had sex? I texted back that while odd to receive the text, we would discuss it in person when he came home. I called him today to inquire about the text at which point he began to sob uncontrollably. The conversation after we got home, much the same. He sobbed and cried uncontrollably. Teenage hormones! I figured more was going on. All he disclosed besides hearing noises (which we discussed and I informed the truth was not what he thought) was that his stepsister told him she was kicked out on 1/3. He feels left out that his dad didn't tell him. He cried more. We cried together. I told him that at times I feel like I'm failing at being a parent. That if he isn't happy living with me, I want him to be happy and he can live elsewhere. He said he is happiest with me. I stressed again the importance of honesty. Say what you mean and mean what you say. That I would rather hear the truth whether I like it or not than find out I was lied to. We cried some more. I thought girls were more emotional than boys?
Interesting start on the New Year. My job is again slowing down. I considered going back to school for my Masters but $17,000 and 18 months isn't worth trying to fill up some downtime at the office. I will be picking up work from my old position in the interim of new hirees being trained. Then my new boss asked if I wanted to be back up phones, which I did very briefly years ago and stopped without the proper training. Since cross training is becoming mandatory anyway, looks like I will be heading to several weeks of training in the near future! As long as I keep busy and can keep some sanity on some front, it will all balance out.
As of the latest on my dad...I've digressed. Or maybe I've just embraced acceptance again. I left a message on Christmas wishing he and his wife a Merry Christmas. I haven't heard back and I haven't called them again. I will. One day, I will. But if that one day doesn't happen, I won't be shedding any tears of regret. I have reached solace.
Sometimes it's best to close one chapter before moving on...
Friday, January 7, 2011
2010 Year In Review
2010 YEAR IN REVIEW
HEALTH:
This past year my health has remained stable (knock, knock). A minor biking accident Memorial weekend added a scar on my wrist but nothing more serious. Halloween weekend, the claw of a hammer below the eye resulted in a small fracture of my facial plate and a minor scar but no permanent damage.
FITNESS:
What is that? 2010 saw me completely throw fitness out the window. I didn’t go to the gym. I battled with myself as to trying to eat healthy but ultimately failing. Physical fitness included occasional roller blading, walking or biking but nothing regular and routine. I can tell that the muscle mass is disappearing and the Pillsbury Dough Boy look is not becoming!
HOUSE:
A new ¾ bathroom and egress window were added to the basement during the summer. The additional bathroom has been a blessing (I even change shower curtains less!). T’s room was updated to a Youth Bedroom with cosmetic changes in the house and some minor changes to the guest bedroom (which still seems in limbo). I got a new grill for Christmas, so maybe I will add new patio furniture in 2011!
EMPLOYMENT:
A full year of my current position completed. Early Spring I was ready to quit which lead me to pursue a foster home license. For the most part, I love my job, when I’m busy. I could do without the office politics, drama and snarky people.
FINANCIAL:
No real change. 2010 saw a rebound to the 401k. As the year ended, my employer no longer does automatic savings bonds. I’m still in limbo trying to determine what to do with that monthly allotment that was automatically done for the past 13 years! A full year on the new 15 year mortgage has me happy with the great reduction!
TRAVEL:
The year began in Colorado and a second road trip to Colorado later in January. Unfortunately there wasn’t much snow and drama ensued on the second trip. Spring Break was a first time cruise with my mom from Florida to Mexico. In August T and I went to Arizona and saw the GRAND CANYON and had a fabulous trip! At the end of the Halloween weekend I found myself on an emergent trip to Tampa Florida to say what I thought was my final goodbye to my dad. November was a quick trip to Vermont to drive a vehicle with my brother and his family’s belongings back to Michigan – their midway point to their move to South Dakota.
Travel was pretty limited due to the basement bathroom addition which I will pay off before my year of 0% interest ends this summer.
PARENTING:
This year I found myself the proud and new mother of…a teenager. T turned thirteen in March and was allowed to have a Facebook page. The year has been somewhat challenging from a parenting perspective in pushing T towards friends and independence but still being a parent. I discovered T had a girlfriend via Facebook as well as a second Facebook account. Just before Christmas, texting was added to T and my parent’s cell phones. The end of year wrapped up with learning of secrecy, 580 son texts (in 5 days!) and parental battles of privacy for a teen. I am sure I will be battling the fine lines of privacy and independence until he moves out of the house.
Drama continued with the other half, especially around November for the holidays and hunting season. He refuses to communicate with me and only talks to our son and is beginning to talk more negatively about me. Less than five years. Less than five years…
PERSONAL:
Around Spring Break I decided maybe I was ready to consider the dating pool again. Wading around in the shallow end, quickly found me trying to tread water and then get the hell out of the pool. I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends and keeping busy. I attended meetup groups and did a lot of fun things and met some very interesting people. I again slowly tried the dating thing but found dating sites beyond comical and borderline appalling. I set my standards pretty low and aimed to find someone I wanted to see more than twice. Ultimately in October after ending a brief out-of-state long distance dating, I planned a much needed out of town trip with someone that we had remained friends since going out twice at the beginning of my pool wading. We have been dating since. I’m doing my best to not over analyze and going from there!
MISC:
As mentioned earlier and in previous posts, I thought my dad was finally dying. That The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf was no longer able to cry. My aunt, my brother, myself and hospital staff were wrong. Not that that is a bad thing, but I don’t know what it is. He was denied a VAD and heart transplant and sent home with Hospice early November. Maybe by some miracle other options exist because his wife is now saying that a VAD and heart transplant are available through a different hospital and donations are needed. The end of the year presented a new issue with my dad’s wife in the communication arena which has severed the relationship even more. I haven’t heard back from them after leaving a message on Christmas. I believe he is still alive, but honestly, nothing would surprise me at this point.
In September I became a licensed foster parent. I have been called for a handful of placements that were not appropriate. I have yet to have my first placement and wonder if I ever will. The experience of the licensing process was enlightening – personally and professionally.
2011 PREDICTIONS
HEALTH/FITNESS:
I have kicked off 2011 by not making a New Years Resolution but by making a concerted effort to make my health and fitness a priority. I started with my annual physical which will have numerous follow ups for health concerns. I was prescribed Ambien for sleeping as my insomnia is becoming scary but I want to see if eating well and exercise work first! I started taking a multi-vitamin “for her” and hope it will work for me too! I am committing to taking six months of vitamins. I am making a conscious effort to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner daily as I often skip meals, especially at work. I also went to the gym two days ago and plan to add exercise back into my life, slowly and consistently. I would also love to lose 15-20 pounds but at this point, I just want to be healthy and fit.
TRAVEL:
I hope to travel more this year. T is with me for Spring Break this year so I’m excited to figure out what we come up with and whether or not we utilize another week of the timeshare, two weeks out to randomly find us somewhere new and random. I also forsee some traveling with the boyfriend, with and without the teen children.
CAR:
I anticipate that I may need a new car this year. My cruise temporarily died again last night. My car seems to be “skipping” between 45-50 miles per hour and I wonder if it is transmission related. I am not looking forward to a car payment but I need something safe and reliable!
HOUSE:
I purchased a new comforter for the bedroom for Christmas along with new dishes! I anticipate that I will likely bite the bullet and finally paint my bedroom the milk chocolate color that I’ve been salivating over for years! I don’t foresee any other home improvement projects – maintenance only.
PERSONAL:
I vow to not lose myself while dating. I hope to continue to pursue fun adventures with friends outside of dating. I will continue to push myself to be a better me rather than settle with the routine and the monotony.
Happy New Year!
Parenting Privacy Priveleges
T turned thirteen last March, therefore he is on the cusp of turning fourteen. The past year I have given him more freedom which didn't encompass more responsibility. He doesn't receive an allowance and his chores are minimal. He is responsible for picking up after himself and keeping his room fairly clean. Sometimes he has to take the garbage down the driveway or bring back up the empty can. Rough Life.
In recapping, becoming a teenager I allowed him the ability to get a Facebook account with the understanding that I had access and must know his password. We created it together. In 2008 when I was going to Europe, I allowed him to have his own email account so we could communicate. We created it together. On December 22, 2010, I added texting to my son and parents cell phone plans. My son, surprisingly was excited despite me offering texting to him numerous times before.
My parents were in town for Christmas which meant some changes in sleeping arrangements as the guest bedroom now has a twin bunk. I wasn't going to put them on the aerobed on the floor so I gave them my room for the weekend. T was at his dad's the first night so I slept in his room. Christmas he was back home and fell asleep on the couch, so I again stayed in his room; however, his computer fan kept running. T hadn't put his laptop in standby and when I got up to do so, I saw that he had another Facebook account which changed from "Mike White" to "Harry Porter" depending on if I was on the profile page or the home page. I didn't understand. Additionally there was an email account open that I had never seen in gmail connected to the FB page. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. The email account had been created on 12/22 and the FB page looked like it was primarily being used for Mafia Wars and he already had over 100 "friends".
I was shocked and appalled. I didn't know what to do. I knew that he created the accounts the one day I was at work (12/22) and he asked if a friend could come over. He said nothing about what they really did that day. I stewed all night and was restless. It didn't help that an hour after the discovery at about 3a.m. T woke to come into his room to go to bed. I said nothing. I did nothing. I laid awake for hours.
On 12/27, still having done nothing, T received a text after midnight. I asked for his phone and told him he was no longer to have it at night when in bed (10 school night/11 weekend or holiday) or use it as an alarm clock. He willingly gave me the phone. I had looked at his phone before that and saw that he was texting after 1a.m. when he was at his dad's. Earlier that night T had commented on how much the BF's son texted since getting his phone on 12/25. I checked T's text record and in five days he had texted 580 times. The BF's son, 1280 in two days!! The text that night at midnight was from RUR's daughter and I texted him about it the next day. Come to find out, the next day he told his daughter and her friend (the one T was texting after 1a.m.) about the incident and the friend told T that I was looking at his texts. T didn't confront me and I didn't confront him but he was mad. I learned that sharing with a friend of T's parent's is NOT a good idea and is NOT confidential.
T also has a girlfriend that he purchased a necklace for Christmas. I asked if he was going to see her during the break. He kept saying "I dunno". I asked if he wanted to invite her over. "NO". I learned from his texting that he planned to meet up with her while I was at work. Long story short, he didn't meet with her and emailed her the day of that he was "sick" - of course I directly knew nothing about it.
So I had been struggling with the ongoing deception and how much privacy does a teen have? How much do they deserve? I had decided to give T back his phone and told him I would not wake him for school or make his lunch. If he fell asleep at school or his grades suffered, his phone would be gone. AND he would have chores and responsibilities around the house. I haven't looked at his phone since I gave it back, until tonight that is.
T doesn't know it, but I've also made a point to not use just his cell phone when he gets home from school when he calls me from his cell. It helps that with the unlimited texting plan we have 1000 more anytime minutes on the phone and I no longer have to worry about going over! So to be sure he is home, I call the home phone.
Many of my friends of teens feel that as parents teens should have limited privacy. Email, FB and phones are free reign to search as we pay the bills to allow them to use them. Clearly back when I was a teen, we didn't have internet or cell phones. Times have changed.
It wasn't until tonight that I finally mentioned anything to T. We had just finished watching The Craigslist Killer that we had DVR'd earlier this week and the after show. It seemed like a perfect segway into secrecy and hidden email accounts. I asked T how many email accounts he has. "One." Even if I wasn't aware of the other one, he has two - his personal yahoo and a school email account.
Long story short, I asked T to be honest and as he himmed and hawed it was clear he wasn't. He acknowledged that his friend told him to create an email to play a game. After pulling teeth he admitted that he had to play the game on FB and therefore had to create another account. I asked if there was anything else he was hiding. "No". I told him that while I didn't have a problem with the account and why he created it, the fact that he didn't inform me and lied about it was the issue. I told him he had to delete the acounts. I watched him deactivate which then didn't permanently delete and then he deleted but still has a minimal 14 day window to reactivate his FB account. I now have the email and passwords to verify he hasn't reactivated. The gmail account was also deleted. However, the account he told me about was the "Mike White" account. I had asked repeatedly if there was anything else and if I found out he was lying there would be consequences. Then I asked about "Harry Porter" and he was like "Oh." and I learned of a third FB account and another gmail account. Those two, deleted. Then his personal FB account - we talked about safety as he had many "friends" from just Mafia Wars that have access to his personal information and pictures. And he deleted Every. Single. "Friend". and he even deleted Mafia Wars on his own.
I told him how disappointed I was that he had lied. While I appreciated the idea of creating an annonymous account for him to play, the way he went about it was deceitful and deceptive and he continued to lie upon confrontation. I informed him that I care about him and his safety. I also told him that if I find out that he lies to me more, no more laptop and no phone. Period. He apologized and said he understood.
Then we talked about the phone. I asked if he was still texting and he said not as much since that night on 12/27 after bowling. I asked him why. He said, "I dunno.". I asked him if it was because he knew I looked at his phone and he said, "You looked at my phone?" I confirmed what he already knew (from RUR and his peer). I then picked up his phone and called the account to see that he now has almost 1100 texts. So he still has used it quite a bit. I also told him that I am his mother and he is a teen. I pay the bills for his computer and his phone and as long as he is a minor I have the right to look if I deem necessary. He shook his head in agreement.
Then he got ready for bed. He told me about a conversation with his dad about my car. T asked about his irritated eye. He talked about retaking a test that he was disappointed he had received a B+ on because he didn't see a question and wasn't able to take after school today. He told me he saw, 1.5 months later, that he made the Honor Roll. He told me he loved me as he hugged and kissed me goodnight, at his initiation.
Never once did T notice or mention that I had tears welled up in my eyes. That I have been internalizing and struggling with parental angst since Christmas Day. That I hated having him do what I had him do but that it was for a reason. That I wonder if this is the start of a downward spiral or if this will open one more door of secrecy and deception that he seemed to have closed.
I don't have any answers. I don't have a crystal ball. I can only hope that our discussion and the actions that happened tonight lead to positive communication. I can only hope.
In recapping, becoming a teenager I allowed him the ability to get a Facebook account with the understanding that I had access and must know his password. We created it together. In 2008 when I was going to Europe, I allowed him to have his own email account so we could communicate. We created it together. On December 22, 2010, I added texting to my son and parents cell phone plans. My son, surprisingly was excited despite me offering texting to him numerous times before.
My parents were in town for Christmas which meant some changes in sleeping arrangements as the guest bedroom now has a twin bunk. I wasn't going to put them on the aerobed on the floor so I gave them my room for the weekend. T was at his dad's the first night so I slept in his room. Christmas he was back home and fell asleep on the couch, so I again stayed in his room; however, his computer fan kept running. T hadn't put his laptop in standby and when I got up to do so, I saw that he had another Facebook account which changed from "Mike White" to "Harry Porter" depending on if I was on the profile page or the home page. I didn't understand. Additionally there was an email account open that I had never seen in gmail connected to the FB page. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. The email account had been created on 12/22 and the FB page looked like it was primarily being used for Mafia Wars and he already had over 100 "friends".
I was shocked and appalled. I didn't know what to do. I knew that he created the accounts the one day I was at work (12/22) and he asked if a friend could come over. He said nothing about what they really did that day. I stewed all night and was restless. It didn't help that an hour after the discovery at about 3a.m. T woke to come into his room to go to bed. I said nothing. I did nothing. I laid awake for hours.
On 12/27, still having done nothing, T received a text after midnight. I asked for his phone and told him he was no longer to have it at night when in bed (10 school night/11 weekend or holiday) or use it as an alarm clock. He willingly gave me the phone. I had looked at his phone before that and saw that he was texting after 1a.m. when he was at his dad's. Earlier that night T had commented on how much the BF's son texted since getting his phone on 12/25. I checked T's text record and in five days he had texted 580 times. The BF's son, 1280 in two days!! The text that night at midnight was from RUR's daughter and I texted him about it the next day. Come to find out, the next day he told his daughter and her friend (the one T was texting after 1a.m.) about the incident and the friend told T that I was looking at his texts. T didn't confront me and I didn't confront him but he was mad. I learned that sharing with a friend of T's parent's is NOT a good idea and is NOT confidential.
T also has a girlfriend that he purchased a necklace for Christmas. I asked if he was going to see her during the break. He kept saying "I dunno". I asked if he wanted to invite her over. "NO". I learned from his texting that he planned to meet up with her while I was at work. Long story short, he didn't meet with her and emailed her the day of that he was "sick" - of course I directly knew nothing about it.
So I had been struggling with the ongoing deception and how much privacy does a teen have? How much do they deserve? I had decided to give T back his phone and told him I would not wake him for school or make his lunch. If he fell asleep at school or his grades suffered, his phone would be gone. AND he would have chores and responsibilities around the house. I haven't looked at his phone since I gave it back, until tonight that is.
T doesn't know it, but I've also made a point to not use just his cell phone when he gets home from school when he calls me from his cell. It helps that with the unlimited texting plan we have 1000 more anytime minutes on the phone and I no longer have to worry about going over! So to be sure he is home, I call the home phone.
Many of my friends of teens feel that as parents teens should have limited privacy. Email, FB and phones are free reign to search as we pay the bills to allow them to use them. Clearly back when I was a teen, we didn't have internet or cell phones. Times have changed.
It wasn't until tonight that I finally mentioned anything to T. We had just finished watching The Craigslist Killer that we had DVR'd earlier this week and the after show. It seemed like a perfect segway into secrecy and hidden email accounts. I asked T how many email accounts he has. "One." Even if I wasn't aware of the other one, he has two - his personal yahoo and a school email account.
Long story short, I asked T to be honest and as he himmed and hawed it was clear he wasn't. He acknowledged that his friend told him to create an email to play a game. After pulling teeth he admitted that he had to play the game on FB and therefore had to create another account. I asked if there was anything else he was hiding. "No". I told him that while I didn't have a problem with the account and why he created it, the fact that he didn't inform me and lied about it was the issue. I told him he had to delete the acounts. I watched him deactivate which then didn't permanently delete and then he deleted but still has a minimal 14 day window to reactivate his FB account. I now have the email and passwords to verify he hasn't reactivated. The gmail account was also deleted. However, the account he told me about was the "Mike White" account. I had asked repeatedly if there was anything else and if I found out he was lying there would be consequences. Then I asked about "Harry Porter" and he was like "Oh." and I learned of a third FB account and another gmail account. Those two, deleted. Then his personal FB account - we talked about safety as he had many "friends" from just Mafia Wars that have access to his personal information and pictures. And he deleted Every. Single. "Friend". and he even deleted Mafia Wars on his own.
I told him how disappointed I was that he had lied. While I appreciated the idea of creating an annonymous account for him to play, the way he went about it was deceitful and deceptive and he continued to lie upon confrontation. I informed him that I care about him and his safety. I also told him that if I find out that he lies to me more, no more laptop and no phone. Period. He apologized and said he understood.
Then we talked about the phone. I asked if he was still texting and he said not as much since that night on 12/27 after bowling. I asked him why. He said, "I dunno.". I asked him if it was because he knew I looked at his phone and he said, "You looked at my phone?" I confirmed what he already knew (from RUR and his peer). I then picked up his phone and called the account to see that he now has almost 1100 texts. So he still has used it quite a bit. I also told him that I am his mother and he is a teen. I pay the bills for his computer and his phone and as long as he is a minor I have the right to look if I deem necessary. He shook his head in agreement.
Then he got ready for bed. He told me about a conversation with his dad about my car. T asked about his irritated eye. He talked about retaking a test that he was disappointed he had received a B+ on because he didn't see a question and wasn't able to take after school today. He told me he saw, 1.5 months later, that he made the Honor Roll. He told me he loved me as he hugged and kissed me goodnight, at his initiation.
Never once did T notice or mention that I had tears welled up in my eyes. That I have been internalizing and struggling with parental angst since Christmas Day. That I hated having him do what I had him do but that it was for a reason. That I wonder if this is the start of a downward spiral or if this will open one more door of secrecy and deception that he seemed to have closed.
I don't have any answers. I don't have a crystal ball. I can only hope that our discussion and the actions that happened tonight lead to positive communication. I can only hope.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Date Night Results 2010
Last week I posted about our Annual "Date Night" here. Here were our results from 2009. I definitely do better painting rather than trying to use some creative juices and mojo.
Without further ado, here is my frog toothbrush mug for the bathroom:
Yes, I am THIRTY - SIX. Not. SIX. I am the first to admit that my artistic talents were suppressed when I was in grade school but if you want to be reminded of my experience, read here. But date night isn't about the final product per se, it's about the fun, experience and memories created!
Without further ado, here is my frog toothbrush mug for the bathroom:
Yes, I am THIRTY - SIX. Not. SIX. I am the first to admit that my artistic talents were suppressed when I was in grade school but if you want to be reminded of my experience, read here. But date night isn't about the final product per se, it's about the fun, experience and memories created!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saturday Shaving - A First
T turned 13 in early Spring. Thirteen. In several months, he will be Fourteen. Yes, I know how to count and I know you do too. Bear with me, I'm trying to grasp the magnitude that my son is not just entering the phase of teenage years and leaving pre-adolescence behind. He will officially have survived his first teenage year. Anyway, I'm jumping the gun.
A sore subject for my son, his facial hair. He has had visible facial hair since he was approximately nine years old. So not cool for a nine year old. Unfortunately, T's father is a direct ancestor of a grizzly bear or Cro-Magnon Man. Truth be told, I'm probably not too far removed from my ancestors either.
A sore subject for my son, his facial hair. He has had visible facial hair since he was approximately nine years old. So not cool for a nine year old. Unfortunately, T's father is a direct ancestor of a grizzly bear or Cro-Magnon Man. Truth be told, I'm probably not too far removed from my ancestors either. For T's birthday I asked if he wanted a razor. He asked, "Do I need one?"
Saturday, T and I purchased his first razor. I actually didn't anticipate that he was going to want to use it immediately. I was wrong. So we had to run out to another store to pick up some shaving cream.
T picked out shaving cream and after shave. We headed home for his first shaving adventure. He lathered his upper lip with shaving cream. His hand unsteadily held the razor as he looked in the mirror getting ready to make his first shaving draw. Nervously, he made his first cut and then again and again. I took several pictures and offered advice of sticking his tongue into his upper lip to tighten the skin. And then...he nicked himself. Blood. Blood. More Blood.
Of course, it was my fault. I told him he didn't have to use more shaving cream if his face was still wet. He survived and actually didn't hold a grudge either.
On the drive to dinner, T reminisced on his shaving experience. He asked if he would now have to shave more than before. More than none? Yes, he will. A few hours later, T stated he wanted to shave again.
I wonder how long it will take for the initial excitement to wear off. I know I hate shaving.
Is the love-hate relationship of shaving different for men/boys and women/girls?
Date Night 2010
T and I had our annual "Date Night" this past Friday. Here was our date night in 2009. I picked up T from practice and we headed to grab dinner at a nearby restaurant. Dinner was the best we have had at that restaurant, EVER.
We then went to our painting location and met up with my girlfriend and her two kids so T could make my mom her Christmas gift. I was seriously like a kid in a candy shop. I was so excited by the latest trend of finger and thumbprint art and how I wanted to paint everything I saw, although completely hindered by a lack of artistic ability (as previously disclosed here.). I couldn't decide so I went with my free mug and another toothbrush holder for the bathroom. Of course I was running through every shower curtain I own (admitted obsession here) and wondered what theme and colors would work best.
I finally opted to paint thumbprint frogs, because I actually have frogs in my bathroom. Although not so obnoxious that they aren't all that obvious. I painted frogs of colors that would pull out colors in some of my shower curtains. I have to admit that I don't think the project was an epic fail, but definitely not as cute as I wished it would be. I'll find out the real truth, Friday.
T and I finished the night by returning back to the restaurant for dessert. I had the most fabulous peanut butter pie. So delish...the end to a fantastic date night!
We then went to our painting location and met up with my girlfriend and her two kids so T could make my mom her Christmas gift. I was seriously like a kid in a candy shop. I was so excited by the latest trend of finger and thumbprint art and how I wanted to paint everything I saw, although completely hindered by a lack of artistic ability (as previously disclosed here.). I couldn't decide so I went with my free mug and another toothbrush holder for the bathroom. Of course I was running through every shower curtain I own (admitted obsession here) and wondered what theme and colors would work best.
I finally opted to paint thumbprint frogs, because I actually have frogs in my bathroom. Although not so obnoxious that they aren't all that obvious. I painted frogs of colors that would pull out colors in some of my shower curtains. I have to admit that I don't think the project was an epic fail, but definitely not as cute as I wished it would be. I'll find out the real truth, Friday.
T and I finished the night by returning back to the restaurant for dessert. I had the most fabulous peanut butter pie. So delish...the end to a fantastic date night!
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