New Year Challenge

Of course it isn't the New Year so New Years Resolution is far from fitting. It is however, the beginning of my new birth year, so what better time than to start a new challenge for myself?

I've never really been one to diet. I think I know enough about eating healthy (proper nutrition), and exercise to be healthy. But somehow, I seem to always fall short. Short of that weight loss goal.

It could be that I've never fully committed to a program. I can't say that I've ever been on a diet (other than a "see food" diet). I have attempted to do the Richard Simmons Food Mover program many years ago, but even that wasn't really a diet. It was making a conscious effort to record, or move the pieces, your daily food intake . It was acknowledging what you ate, similar to a food journal without the writing/journal part.

I did manage to lose about 30 pounds between exercising and making healthier lifestyle changes. However, now I seem to get into funks. I get to busy with life to exercise or eat right or drink water. I let things slide and it's usually my health and fitness.

On the other side of things, when I do work out, I'm a freak. I push myself extremely hard and want to get the most out of myself and my body. Not to the point of physical exertion, but there are some things in the gym that I could push my self closer to the point of fatigue, but I don't. I'm still having issues with machines not being able to record my pulse or heart rate. I think I've decided that my pulse is too high to record. I'm not sure the highest threshold of machines, but the last recording that mine read was 159 before it couldn't read it any longer.

A couple years ago I set a goal for myself that if I lost 20 pounds I would go to Aruba. I never met that goal. I came within 5 pounds.

Over the past weekend I decided to resurrect my personal goal. I had 18 pounds to lose as of Friday, even Sunday night. As of Tuesday (numb, disconnected and suffering relationship issues) I only have to lose 13 pounds. So since a trip wasn't incentive enough, I incorporated the fact that if Mr. Date and I didn't work out, I wouldn't try the dating thing again until my son was graduated from high school and/or I've decided that I will not meet or date anyone (new) until I've reached my weight loss goal.

The last thing I want to do is to consider dating. I didn't set my goal to be purposely sabotaging to either my weight loss efforts or to my relationship efforts (or lack thereof), it's more just a matter of me focusing on me and making exercise and nutrition a priority, again. I'm clearly not in any position or desire to date.
In my eyes, it's my way of making myself important enough to achieve a goal. Granted this time around, I think I'm going to pursue the help of a personal trainer to actually do it right!

It isn't about another relationship, it's about healing from the hurts and wounds of a relationship and determining how and when to pick up the pieces and what direction to head next. It's about incorporating healthy choices to increase my physical fitness and physique. It's about being the best that I can be. And because right now, I'm still not convinced that maybe I want to turn back around.