Dating Drivel

MS and I are still dating.  When I last blogged, I was struggling with the feelings of the possibility of MS moving closer.  I have to admit, that those feelings still exist, although they have transformed slightly.  MS did list his house and sold it within a month.  As he was pressed with a move out date, he quickly began searching for houses in the town I live in.  He made an offer on a house, which was countered.  During the countering process, he found another house which he liked better that he made an offer, which after some countering the deal was done.

MS and his son moved into their new house in mid-June.  The house is literally 0.4 miles from my front door to his front door.  I wasn't sure how I felt about him moving closer.  For the most part, the most prevalent feelings were the possible ones of guilt.  The premonition of feelings I would have if the relationship didn't work and this man and his teenage son found themselves residing in a town where they didn't want to live.  MS and I had talked about this several times.  He assured me that his moving wasn't just to be closer to me.  While obviously that was a bonus, he wanted to move to be free of an over sized house and payment as well as give his son a fresh start.

There is definitely something to be said about long distance and local distance relationships.  I can't say that I have ever really had a successful local relationship, although the inherit desire for convenience has been prevalent.  With the distance relationship, I made plans to spend child free weekends and nights with him.  We spent long periods of time together, sometimes it felt as if it were too much, but the hour commute home wasn't worth it.  MS and I seldom disagree.  Granted, there were times I would get frustrated, but with the distance, I never just got in the car to come home and not work something out.  Now, I feel like the convenience and the "out" is ever available. With the local distance, MS will text and ask to stop by on his way home from work.  I feel lost as to what we should do.  Sometimes it is just awkward.  Do I feed him?  Do I entertain?  Do we have to do something?  Is he a guest?  We no longer have that "plan" of our time together.  With the local distance we also do not spend the night together.  I think we have spent the night twice in two months, with the exception of our vacation. 

I feel as if our relationship has turned into a friendship.  We stop by and say HI.  We may grab or make dinner together and then we part.  The four of us will do things together, like bowling or golfing.  Yes, I said golfing. 

I am just not sure where we go from here.  My good friend D said to me, "Where do you want it to go?  Is there someone else?  Do you think he's cheating on you? You know you don't want to get married."  I am not interested in anyone else and I don't have any concerns that he is either.  Do I ever think I want to or will get married?  At this point, the answer is NO.  So does that mean we stay stagnant? 

Somehow, I think that local distance relationships are more work.  You can no longer assume a relationship or plans.  The bottomline is communication is imperative.  If your relationship is important to you, make it a priority.  And with that, tonight MS spent time together.  More than just sitting on the couch or holding hands.  More than just talking about our day.  More than being just friends. 

Blogging Revisited

I  can honestly admit that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about blogging.  I think what I miss the most, is the fact that without blogging, I can't go back and read past posts.  I can't go back to a certain time and reflect on what I may have been feeling or thinking or experiencing.  In many ways, this blog has been my memory, my calendar if you will.  When I need to think back to a time or event, I know in my mind that I can search for something on my blog and it is a perfect reference. 

Unfortunately, this year will forever be a blur.  I won't have this blog as a reference point to fill in the gaps, since I didn't take the time to actually type anything.  As I quickly approach the big 4-0, I find that my memory isn't what I used to think it was.  I would love to say that it isn't what I remember it being, but even now I wonder what I remember!

I don't blog for anyone else.  I used to have a few friends that would read my blog to catch up on my latest issues.  I think for the most part they have all given up even checking anymore.  I did receive a text out of the blue tonight from RUR saying that he can no longer "stalk" me via my blog and wondered how I have been.  So maybe with his contact and my inability to sleep, I thought I would blog. 

A Mother's (Day) Advice

Yesterday I had the great opportunity of seeing my mom for Mother's Day!  It was the first time I have seen her since my quick visit in early January.  She said something to me that I just can't keep thinking about:

"Men and Women are wired differently."

All I can think of is:

Where do I find the wireless version?????

Auto-Correct Text

MS has an iphone and regularly uses the auto-text option.  Needless to say, I often find some of his texts more than amusing. Tonight was no exception:

MS: "WTF...dude just walked up to the counter with a banana over his face.  If I hadn't sort of recognized him from the other day I would have totally hit our panic button.  Looked like he was about to frickin rob us!"

At this point, I was laughing hysterically (I still am!).  Trying to imagine someone being scary with a banana on their face.  Was it just a peel?  Was it being held as a moustache or covering ones eyes?

I had never heard him mention a panic button before.  Clearly how could he be almost to the point of pushing a panic button over a banana?

ME:  "Nice...pharmacy robbed by an armed banana man..." 

MS:  "Lol, omg...that was supposed to be bandanna. Nice"

Oh how the auto-correct option entertains me! 

Smash Smashed

I just deleted my DVR'd recording of the second episode of Smash, mid-show.  I was actually very interested in watching Smash after seeing the previews.  It reminded me of Flash Dance.  As I am not a fan of Glee, I hoped it wouldn't be Gleeked.

As I watched the season premiere I didn't know what to think.  My son hit it on the nose as he sat on the other couch watching me.  He said, "You really wanted to love it.  And you didn't." 

He was exactly right.  I did want to love the show.  I did think it would add to my DVR collection of recordings that I am finding difficult to watch.  I hoped that maybe the second show would rope me in.  Unfortunately, it did not.  After ten minutes, I just hit stop and deleted the show.  I feel sad.  Of course glad that I have one less commitment of watching a television show, but sad that I had such hope and optimism for the show and was left with utter disappointment.