MS has an iphone and regularly uses the auto-text option. Needless to say, I often find some of his texts more than amusing. Tonight was no exception:
MS: "WTF...dude just walked up to the counter with a banana over his face. If I hadn't sort of recognized him from the other day I would have totally hit our panic button. Looked like he was about to frickin rob us!"
At this point, I was laughing hysterically (I still am!). Trying to imagine someone being scary with a banana on their face. Was it just a peel? Was it being held as a moustache or covering ones eyes?
I had never heard him mention a panic button before. Clearly how could he be almost to the point of pushing a panic button over a banana?
ME: "Nice...pharmacy robbed by an armed banana man..."
MS: "Lol, omg...that was supposed to be bandanna. Nice"
Oh how the auto-correct option entertains me!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Smash Smashed
I just deleted my DVR'd recording of the second episode of Smash, mid-show. I was actually very interested in watching Smash after seeing the previews. It reminded me of Flash Dance. As I am not a fan of Glee, I hoped it wouldn't be Gleeked.
As I watched the season premiere I didn't know what to think. My son hit it on the nose as he sat on the other couch watching me. He said, "You really wanted to love it. And you didn't."
He was exactly right. I did want to love the show. I did think it would add to my DVR collection of recordings that I am finding difficult to watch. I hoped that maybe the second show would rope me in. Unfortunately, it did not. After ten minutes, I just hit stop and deleted the show. I feel sad. Of course glad that I have one less commitment of watching a television show, but sad that I had such hope and optimism for the show and was left with utter disappointment.
As I watched the season premiere I didn't know what to think. My son hit it on the nose as he sat on the other couch watching me. He said, "You really wanted to love it. And you didn't."
He was exactly right. I did want to love the show. I did think it would add to my DVR collection of recordings that I am finding difficult to watch. I hoped that maybe the second show would rope me in. Unfortunately, it did not. After ten minutes, I just hit stop and deleted the show. I feel sad. Of course glad that I have one less commitment of watching a television show, but sad that I had such hope and optimism for the show and was left with utter disappointment.
Relationship Ramblings...
As I mentioned before, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. MS and I continue to date, almost sixteen months. As MS likes to remind me, no one and no relationship is perfect.
I understand this, but I also feel that some things are non-negotiable. And yet, then I come to realize that maybe I am wrong. Maybe standards, expectations and personal beliefs may be malleable. MS and I have had two major hurdles in our relationship (with the exception of our difference in parenting styles). These hurdles, while they have been crossed, I don't feel like they have been conquered. At the core, I struggle with trust issues. MS has suggested we go to counseling. I am not sure I am ready to go there, but deep down, I know that if I am going to make a commitment, we need help. I can't continue in a relationship with one foot out the door.
MS has told me repeatedly that he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. Granted, he has been most verbal about this during our most difficult and trying times. As of late, he has decided he wants to sell his large house and move closer to me. There hasn't been any discussion of living together. Maybe he really does know me. He has researched the housing market in my area. MS loves the idea of a smaller, more affordable home that would be closer to me and allow us to see each other daily if possible. He even likes several houses on my street that are currently for sale.
While I have explored housing options with him, even so far as contacting a realtor friend to talk to him about sale options on his house. I plan to support him in anyway possible; however, maybe I don't think he will ever move. I did ask him if he would still want to live in my town if we didn't work out. He said he loves my town and would. Somehow I find this hard to believe, but I have to trust him to be honest. MS has yet to talk to his son about the possibility of moving. Wednesday the realtor will talk to him about his options, as MS feels that he will owe at least $40,000 after selling his house due to the downturn of the market when he built his house four years ago.
MS sent me a large fortune cookie for Valentine's Day (it is approximately 1200 calories and 9 servings). He said he hopes to see me Wednesday night to give me the rest of my Valentine's gift. Again, I'm not worried about a proposal. If that was his intention why would he talk and research purchasing a house for him and his son?
I'm just not sure where our relationship is heading. I really think that we both would benefit from a third party addressing both of our concerns and issues. And mom, I really don't think he is the controlling, stalker-type. And yes, I know I said that about my ex-husband too, but...I do believe that MS is different.
I understand this, but I also feel that some things are non-negotiable. And yet, then I come to realize that maybe I am wrong. Maybe standards, expectations and personal beliefs may be malleable. MS and I have had two major hurdles in our relationship (with the exception of our difference in parenting styles). These hurdles, while they have been crossed, I don't feel like they have been conquered. At the core, I struggle with trust issues. MS has suggested we go to counseling. I am not sure I am ready to go there, but deep down, I know that if I am going to make a commitment, we need help. I can't continue in a relationship with one foot out the door.
MS has told me repeatedly that he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. Granted, he has been most verbal about this during our most difficult and trying times. As of late, he has decided he wants to sell his large house and move closer to me. There hasn't been any discussion of living together. Maybe he really does know me. He has researched the housing market in my area. MS loves the idea of a smaller, more affordable home that would be closer to me and allow us to see each other daily if possible. He even likes several houses on my street that are currently for sale.
While I have explored housing options with him, even so far as contacting a realtor friend to talk to him about sale options on his house. I plan to support him in anyway possible; however, maybe I don't think he will ever move. I did ask him if he would still want to live in my town if we didn't work out. He said he loves my town and would. Somehow I find this hard to believe, but I have to trust him to be honest. MS has yet to talk to his son about the possibility of moving. Wednesday the realtor will talk to him about his options, as MS feels that he will owe at least $40,000 after selling his house due to the downturn of the market when he built his house four years ago.
MS sent me a large fortune cookie for Valentine's Day (it is approximately 1200 calories and 9 servings). He said he hopes to see me Wednesday night to give me the rest of my Valentine's gift. Again, I'm not worried about a proposal. If that was his intention why would he talk and research purchasing a house for him and his son?
I'm just not sure where our relationship is heading. I really think that we both would benefit from a third party addressing both of our concerns and issues. And mom, I really don't think he is the controlling, stalker-type. And yes, I know I said that about my ex-husband too, but...I do believe that MS is different.
Health Scare
After my latest physical, I received that dreaded call that my pap was abnormal. I was informed to come in for additional testing. I told very few people. Actually, I believe at the time of the testing, in various different conversations, I informed MS only.
I was scared and yet I didn't want to worry about what I didn't know. Without confirmation, I didn't want to discuss or prepare for a diagnosis. Was I in denial? Was I experiencing different stages of grief and loss and bargaining? I believe that I was staying grounded in the reality that I would acknowledge the test results and plan a course of action.
After an extremely painful procedure, I did share with two other friends what I was experiencing, but not in great detail. Just more of a validation of my distance in conversation as I attempted to focus on the now and not be distracted.
After five long days, I learned that my test results were clear. Even now, almost a week later, I am choked up at the realization that I do not have cervical cancer. My mom is a survivor of both breast and uterine cancer. I believe that I had come to accept the inevitable that I was so overwhelmed when I learned that fortunately I was wrong!
I finally talked to my mom about the procedure. I went into much graphic and comical detail. She asked if I planned to blog about it. Of course, I am actually going to refrain from blogging about the details of the testing. Some things I do keep personal!
I am just very fortunate and blessed.
I was scared and yet I didn't want to worry about what I didn't know. Without confirmation, I didn't want to discuss or prepare for a diagnosis. Was I in denial? Was I experiencing different stages of grief and loss and bargaining? I believe that I was staying grounded in the reality that I would acknowledge the test results and plan a course of action.
After an extremely painful procedure, I did share with two other friends what I was experiencing, but not in great detail. Just more of a validation of my distance in conversation as I attempted to focus on the now and not be distracted.
After five long days, I learned that my test results were clear. Even now, almost a week later, I am choked up at the realization that I do not have cervical cancer. My mom is a survivor of both breast and uterine cancer. I believe that I had come to accept the inevitable that I was so overwhelmed when I learned that fortunately I was wrong!
I finally talked to my mom about the procedure. I went into much graphic and comical detail. She asked if I planned to blog about it. Of course, I am actually going to refrain from blogging about the details of the testing. Some things I do keep personal!
I am just very fortunate and blessed.
Fostering Respite II
I am currently experiencing my third respite foster care experience. The second set of children I respited back in August after returning home from Mexico. While I enjoyed the experience immensely, T thought otherwise. He still appears traumatized by the 7 year old female that repeatedly screamed his name incorrectly and attempted to wake him up earlier than he had hoped.
Needless to say, our current respite of a 10 year old female (D) had the cards stacked against her, in T's book. There is nothing she could say or do that would make T welcome her. Then again, T will be 15 next month and really I don't think any girl rates in his world at this moment (which, I am still perfectly fine with!). I feel bad for our foster child as she knows that T doesn't talk to her and even today she said that he doesn't even know her name, which he confirmed he did!
The current foster home requested respite initially from Sunday - Wednesday, but D came early Saturday morning. As D attends school in the nearby town, keeping her during the school week hasn't been a problem and I've only had to adjust my work schedule less than 1.5 hours a day. The current foster family had a change of plans and is having a "stay-cation" and enjoying being foster childless.
I actually like D. Respite foster care is tough though, trying to maintain another foster parent's schedule. D begins her bedtime routine at 7:00p.m. and is in bed at 8:30p.m. This schedule is maintained on the weekend. While I have done extremely well in keeping to the schedule, it isn't that conducive to T and I's normal routine. But for four days, we can manage.
D even adjusted well when her father canceled his unsupervised visit, the first one EVER he has canceled due to being "sick". I called him to inquire if he wanted to talk to his daughter on the phone. His response, "NO". He further and clearly went on to say, "It is difficult to even talk". I asked if he would want to reschedule the visit if he was feeling better and he said, "NO. Next Monday will be fine." He then said, "Tell her I said to do her homework." And we hung up. Seriously? D inquired twice about not seeing her dad. She was excited she wouldn't be seeing him tomorrow as a make up visit. She wasn't bothered. But I was.
How is it, that even given the opportunity by a foster parent to talk to your daughter, a parent would refuse? I know this answer. I have worked in child welfare and foster care for 14.5 years. I do understand. But...this is the first time, that as a foster parent being sincere and attempting to work with a birth parent (not as a caseworker) that I have been so completely disappointed.
What did D do to deserve this? How hard is it to take a moment to tell someone you care about them, miss them and/or love them? Especially a child. Is it too much to ask?
I guess I attempt to live my life in the best way that I know how. To tell those near and dear that I love them. To live with no regrets. I am not perfect by any means, but when given the opportunity, I try my best and take advantage of every opportunity.
Needless to say, our current respite of a 10 year old female (D) had the cards stacked against her, in T's book. There is nothing she could say or do that would make T welcome her. Then again, T will be 15 next month and really I don't think any girl rates in his world at this moment (which, I am still perfectly fine with!). I feel bad for our foster child as she knows that T doesn't talk to her and even today she said that he doesn't even know her name, which he confirmed he did!
The current foster home requested respite initially from Sunday - Wednesday, but D came early Saturday morning. As D attends school in the nearby town, keeping her during the school week hasn't been a problem and I've only had to adjust my work schedule less than 1.5 hours a day. The current foster family had a change of plans and is having a "stay-cation" and enjoying being foster childless.
I actually like D. Respite foster care is tough though, trying to maintain another foster parent's schedule. D begins her bedtime routine at 7:00p.m. and is in bed at 8:30p.m. This schedule is maintained on the weekend. While I have done extremely well in keeping to the schedule, it isn't that conducive to T and I's normal routine. But for four days, we can manage.
D even adjusted well when her father canceled his unsupervised visit, the first one EVER he has canceled due to being "sick". I called him to inquire if he wanted to talk to his daughter on the phone. His response, "NO". He further and clearly went on to say, "It is difficult to even talk". I asked if he would want to reschedule the visit if he was feeling better and he said, "NO. Next Monday will be fine." He then said, "Tell her I said to do her homework." And we hung up. Seriously? D inquired twice about not seeing her dad. She was excited she wouldn't be seeing him tomorrow as a make up visit. She wasn't bothered. But I was.
How is it, that even given the opportunity by a foster parent to talk to your daughter, a parent would refuse? I know this answer. I have worked in child welfare and foster care for 14.5 years. I do understand. But...this is the first time, that as a foster parent being sincere and attempting to work with a birth parent (not as a caseworker) that I have been so completely disappointed.
What did D do to deserve this? How hard is it to take a moment to tell someone you care about them, miss them and/or love them? Especially a child. Is it too much to ask?
I guess I attempt to live my life in the best way that I know how. To tell those near and dear that I love them. To live with no regrets. I am not perfect by any means, but when given the opportunity, I try my best and take advantage of every opportunity.
Serenity
I love the color brown. Over the years I have added various hues of brown to my living room. Sometime around 2002 I hand painted every single brick on my fireplace one of three colors, two a shade of brown. Last year for my birthday I purchased area rugs for my living room and dining room in different hues of brown.
In late November 2011, I finally finished my brown theme, almost a decade in the making. Although I have to admit, I didn't know it was in the making. Usually, if I start something, I finish it. So the living room and dining room, were always a vision, but never a priority. I purchased a living room set and then a can of paint. MS and I painted the accent wall in the living room a dark mocha brown and painted the door white (removing all traces of the previous purple!). I replaced the window treatment with a new curtain rod and five curtain panels. The curtain rod was actually quite an adventure and after two attempts, I found one at Bed Bath & Beyond large enough (imagine that!).
I purchased wall decor to decorate the walls, including the dining room walls. I tore down the chair rail and the wall paper and border on the dining room wall. I went to a painting store on three occasions and painted plates to hang.
I added the brown wall color to my dresser in the dining room to spruce it up.
The cedar chest that had been in T's room and subsequently moved into the hallway was repainted and for $3.78 I picked up a perfectly matching piece of fabric and replaced the sports decorum.
I have to say that I love, love, love my living room and dining room. I feel so peaceful and content when I walk in the room. I am so relaxed. Accomplished.
Bliss...
In late November 2011, I finally finished my brown theme, almost a decade in the making. Although I have to admit, I didn't know it was in the making. Usually, if I start something, I finish it. So the living room and dining room, were always a vision, but never a priority. I purchased a living room set and then a can of paint. MS and I painted the accent wall in the living room a dark mocha brown and painted the door white (removing all traces of the previous purple!). I replaced the window treatment with a new curtain rod and five curtain panels. The curtain rod was actually quite an adventure and after two attempts, I found one at Bed Bath & Beyond large enough (imagine that!).
I added the brown wall color to my dresser in the dining room to spruce it up.
 |
The dresser: BEFORE |
 |
| Cedar Chest: AFTER |
I have to say that I love, love, love my living room and dining room. I feel so peaceful and content when I walk in the room. I am so relaxed. Accomplished.
 |
| Dining Room: AFTER |
The Next Great Baker : I am Not...
Today JA texted me to confirm that my alias was donned the Next Great Baker. Granted I have never watched or even heard of the show, so I have no idea what exactly reminds me of the winner. Apparently it isn't my baking skills!
I have a meeting tomorrow morning, so I decided to make some cupcakes. I had some orange frosting that I thought by adding red dye would turn red to decorate. Did I mention that last week I participated in a cupcake decorating class? Well, I have since learned that it is all about having the right tools. Even when baking.
Adding red dye to orange does not turn frosting red. And adding blue to not so red frosting only turns frosting the color of baby diarrhea. So not appropriate for Valentines Day cupcakes. Fortunately I also had white frosting in the cupboard.
Surprisingly the camera makes the hearts actually resemble red, not the dark orange they truly are. I attempted to shade the heart in red, which made a mess, so I enhanced the mess! Surprisingly my respite foster daughter chose that one as her snack!
Feeling like there is no way that I can pass off the cupcakes as being made by my three year old child I don't have, I opted to make pink frosting with the white.
While I still need some major decorating assistance, at least I won't be too embarrassed to bring this cake to the meeting. Afterall, I have no intention of quitting my day job anytime soon...
I have a meeting tomorrow morning, so I decided to make some cupcakes. I had some orange frosting that I thought by adding red dye would turn red to decorate. Did I mention that last week I participated in a cupcake decorating class? Well, I have since learned that it is all about having the right tools. Even when baking.
Adding red dye to orange does not turn frosting red. And adding blue to not so red frosting only turns frosting the color of baby diarrhea. So not appropriate for Valentines Day cupcakes. Fortunately I also had white frosting in the cupboard.
Feeling like there is no way that I can pass off the cupcakes as being made by my three year old child I don't have, I opted to make pink frosting with the white.
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