Mother's Day

My parents are snowbirds.  They just returned from Florida last week and I had the opportunity to spend Mother's Day with my mom - even if only for just over a day!  Anytime with my mom is wonderful, even if her repeated badgering and obsessing over a marinade for the meat on the kabobs was getting on my only nerve! 

Unfortunately mom and I didn't get any pictures.  T and I had a few photos and I have to say I wasn't a fan of any of the results.  But I will keep them anyway as they are worth the memory in reviewing in retrospect.  I have just become more than disappointed in myself and my lack of motivation in my appearance.  I am hoping that the warmer weather will increase my desire to be more physically active and lose weight. 

T, mom and I had fun making a variety of kabobs for dinner including vegetables, fruit, steak and chicken.  They were super delicious and the company was fantastic!

Mom's Gift

 Hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day and were able to share the day with loved ones!

Meeting Anniversary

Tomorrow, May 12, 2011, will be the one year anniversary of meeting MS.  We had chatted a few times online and on the phone before we met in person.  We met at a Chinese restaurant where we talked for hours. 

I wasn't immediately attracted to him.  The idea of him being a full time parent to his son who had no relationship with his mother was daunting.  We met again a few days later for our second date.  The date went well, but again, I couldn't escape the fear of a full time parent.  I didn't feel comfortable having him choose between time with me and time with his son.  He assured me that he had a right to date and if it wasn't me, it would be someone.  After our second date, I just couldn't do it.  We didn't see each other again.

Until...October 2010.  We have been dating since.  I wish I could say that today I am more comfortable with him being a full time parent.  I am not.  Let me clarify.  It isn't that I have an issue with him being a full time parent, I have the issue that he is an absent full time parent.  His relationship with his 14 year old son is more representative of a roommate or friend than a parent or authority figure.  Most weekends when MS works, his son would be at home, although more frequently he is gone staying with friends.  Weekends when MS is home, his son is gone the entire weekend at friends.  His son does seem to look forward to opportunities of visiting me and my son to go bowling or play board games.  Quite a surprise for me!

Since October, his son has been suspended from school and broke his collar bone.  He recently was involved in a skate board incident where we spent three hours in the medical center and required follow up orthodontist appointment for loose and misaligned teeth and a CT scan for concern of a brain bleed as he had visual head ticks.  The police have been involved on at least two occasions as his son wasn't where he was suppose to be.  Mother's Day was the most recent involvement.  He hadn't been home since Saturday morning and his whereabouts were unknown Sunday evening.  Apparently after asking his friend if he could move in with him and his grandmother and being told "no" the two teens took off.  MS doesn't understand why his son wouldn't want to live with him as he has everything.

Everything but his dad's time, attention and interest.  MS and I have talked about this on more than one occasion.  Nothing changes. 

MS is a good guy.  He is laid back and easy going.  I haven't seen anything of the contrary although he reports a different persona at work and apparently his son must see something different too.  Am I missing something or do people have different perspectives from his different responsibilities? 

My main concern remains.  MS and I have opposite parenting styles and relationships with our children.  I don't foresee this ever changing.  We do have fun together and love each other.  We get along extremely well.  BUT...our boys are FOURTEEN.  Do I really want to watch the downward spiral of their relationship for my own companionship for four years until our boys are "adults" or high school graduates?  And then what?

I have always preferred the idea of a Mr. Right not a Mr. Right Now.  But no one is perfect.  When as individuals do we determine what is worth accepting and settling and what isn't?

Shallow or Sure?

I have been extremely busy at work as of late.  I seem to be accommodating clients and working a lot of late nights.  I am always amazed how inflexible clients are, when I am helping them to achieve their goals, dreams and desires.

I have recently met with two married couples that sleep in opposite bedrooms.  I understand separate bedrooms becomes more frequent in long-term relationships.  Personally, I don't think that I could ever live with someone in a committed relationship if we didn't desire the companionship of each other or had snoring issues that affected our ability to sleep together.  Maybe that's why I am still single, although I maintain that the only way my ex-husband and I could have remained married was if we lived in different states!  One couple though, of 27 years have only shared a bedroom for six months.  SIX. MONTHS.  I couldn't imagine.  What is even more difficult to comprehend is that for the past 21 years his "bedroom" is in the basement in a room the size of a closet wedged in the unfinished basement area of storage and the utility room.  He has no desire to move up to the main sleeping quarters where there were three vacant bedrooms. 

I was talking with a man today about his job and he mentioned he makes whitening strips.  He asked if I wanted some.  It flashed me back to a bad first meet/date I had a couple years ago where the guy offered to bring me whitening strips because it was where he worked too.  I mentioned this to the man.  He offered a name and I honestly couldn't recall.  The first name might have been, but my description was dead on to who he had said.  I felt shallow after describing him as short and obese and full of tattoos.  But it was the truth.

Another recent experience I met a client's fiance.  They met through eHarmony last August.  They are getting married this month.  Neither have ever been married.  He is 40 and she is in her late 30's.  As I sat with him interviewing him I couldn't help but feel shallow.  He is a very nice man, but definitely not my type.  He had bariatric surgery years ago and still has weight to lose (lost 200#'s already) plus as he calls it, the "apron" of excess skin that he believes is 50 pounds.  He is also 5'5" tall and worked third shift.  Is it shallow that makes us understand what we are attracted to or what we are looking for or is it a sense of being sure? 

Father Update

My father suffered a small stroke.  He has regained some movement in his right hand with the assistance of physical therapy.  He is finally able to walk small distances but he needs a walker or wheel chair for longer distances. 

I called the nurses' station last week to learn that he had been moved.  The nurse didn't know or wouldn't disclose where he was moved to.  I contacted my Aunt and she had heard from my Uncle the previous day that my father was being moved to a physical therapy floor.  I emailed my Uncle and am now on his mailing list, which gets me involved in the drama as he makes sure that "A" receives all correspondence as does everyone else who is on his mailing list when he emails her.  It is entertaining to be an observer for a while.

I left a message for my father's Social Worker with the temporary Social Worker.  She called me back days later and left a message.  I missed her call and she was unavailable thirty minutes later.  That was Friday.  I still have not heard from her.  I guess nurse Social Workers don't have the same Standard of Promptness that I have.  I meant to call the Social Worker sooner but I mistakenly called my father instead.  Fortunately his wife wasn't with him at the time and our conversation was fine. 

He anticipates being on the physical therapy floor - where PT is DUMB and the response time of staff is almost non-existent for a week.  He will then move into his wife's new handicapped accessible apartment for up to 6 weeks before the LVAD.  Personally, I think the return to the apartment is the hospital's way of testing if they are vested in therapy, medication and follow through.  My father did say that "A" is frustrated that she can't get to see him at the hospital when she wants due to transportation issues. 

Hmmm...so how would that make them good recipients of an LVAD?

Home Improvements: Hallway

MS, my bf has some serious OCD issues, with my house.  Every time he comes over, he points out every flaw - from painting issues, unsunk nails, too high light switches, not enough switches...you name it, he points it out.  One day he managed to point out a color spot on my bedroom ceiling, a blue color on the kitchen ceiling and then peeling paint in the front entrance.

He scraped the ceiling, which then managed to be half of the ceiling which would require new paint.  Unfortunately the ceiling paint I had was different texture and due to the cold temperature in the entrance dried and cracked requiring more scraping and a whole new ceiling paint job (to be done later).  The imaginary blue in the kitchen that I painted over can now be seen as a different ceiling white. The nails that he sunk under the window trim then meant that I had to sink all of them in the trim around the bathroom, which meant I was leaning on a ladder and balancing the thought of falling while filling in nail holes.  All of his LITTLE jobs and negativity means BIG projects for me as they aren't quick fixes. 

The next time he came over, he started on why the hallway only had one light switch.  What hallway only has ONE switch?  SERIOUSLY?  I had had it.  I couldn't handle the constant criticism and negativity.  I didn't build the house!  The house was built in the late 20's!  I have been in it for 11 years, but it is not perfect.  I am NOT perfect.  Please try to be positive!  I told him so.  And, 30 minutes later his son asked why the light switch in the bathroom was so high!  Sigh...

I did finally manage to repaint the hallway - the only area in my house to have NOT been painted (well except inside closets!).  I had avoided the hallway in all it's off white and dirty glory with SEVEN doorways and SIX doors.  I vacillated on colors and finally settled on a tan along the yellow spectrum, Toasted Almond.  I also removed all the toe molding and replaced it along with repainting all of the doors white.  I painted the coat hook and shelf and updated the hooks and added an additional.  It is so nice to just not see all the dirt and discoloration anymore.  So at peace...so wonderful what a coat of paint can accomplish!

Shower Curtain Update

NEWS FLASH....NEWS FLASH.....

I have not changed either bathroom shower curtain in almost TWO MONTHS!  TWO. MONTHS.

I am considering changing the main bathroom, but I really do like the orange.  It just makes me feel calm and at peace.  One day though. One day soon, I am sure I will change it out.  I am thinking pink for spring.  And seeing how much I LOVE pink, I am thinking of no change!

Financial Freedom

After Spring Break I continued to have issues with my car making "new" noises.  My car literally felt like the tires were going to fall off and the noise was worse than nails on a chalkboard! I finally took my car back to the same shop that had replaced my tie rod and arm bushings.  They reported that additional bushings needed to be replaced as well as my strut mounts.  Fortunately the new repairs were minimal in cost and I was on my way with my new noiseless car! 

Today I made my final monthly payment on the basement remodel!  I am excited that I am done with the monthly payments and the thought that I might have missed a payment and be responsible for the interest from my interest free year!  I am looking forward to the extra cash flow and new opportunities!

Movie Muse

I did it again, I rented a movie recently that I had previously rented in September!  Although when I picked it up at T's request and frustration of all the PG13 movies I had watched without him, I did think I had already watched the movie.  Unfortunately it was a movie I gave 1.5 out of 5 stars.  Oh well, I am running thin on movies to rent as of late.

I am not a big Jim Carey fan.  I admit I have probably watched a great majority of his movies, but not with great enthusiasm.  The other day I rented, "I Love You Phillip Morris". 

This movie exacerbates the importance of details and expectations.  Granted, I didn't have high expectations and I couldn't recall what the description summary on the box had been.  During the opening credits I was half paying attention while playing a game of spades online.  I saw the actors and then I saw, "It really did." in the clouds of the opening.  I wondered what really did.  I considered rewinding the DVD to see what I missed in that split moment and decided it probably wasn't important. 

Fifteen minutes into the movie, I had had enough.  While I am not homophobic, something about Jim Carey screaming out his desire to be a "FAGGOT" was almost revolting.  His prancing and parading his new gay life from his quiet suburban married life was all too much for me to find entertaining.  But...I didn't turn the movie off.  I proceeded to watch the whole movie.  At the end of the movie, I read the closing text about Phillip Morris and Steve Russo. 

The movie was based on FACT. 

My favorite type of movie.  I was amused by the ending.  I watched the section of the DVD on the making of the movie.  I wished that I had taken the moment to rewind the movie to realize that the movie was real and it happened.  It really did. 

What a different perspective I have on the movie knowing that it was based on true events.  That Jim Carey portrayed Steven Russo, a con-man who is serving time in prison with his earliest release of 2140.  Who knew that one second of a movie would have such an impact?

Spring Break 2011

How long ago Spring Break seems.  It has been just over a month since we returned from our trip to Branson, Missouri.  We purchased seasons passes to Silver Dollar City and were able to attend for the weekend of the Youth Christian weekend as well as the first day of World Fest. 

Cave @ Silver Dollar City

The weather was very nice and it was much needed to see sun and feel warmth.  T and I got along fabulously.  Our two bedroom condo was really a "lock out" which was a one bedroom unit and a studio unit joined with a locked door.  So basically, T had his own apartment for a week.  The condo was more than sufficient for the two of us. 

T's Room

The week went by far too quickly with lazy mornings and attending shows.  We attended a vacation club program which of course I had to purchase.  I still have yet to determine if it is scandalous - but afterall vacations are my passion.  I can never travel or venture enough and if I can have access to better deals than I can find, it is well worth my dollar.  Of course by going to the presentation we received many free and discounted show tickets that entertained us throughout the week.  We attended the Haygoods (a family of musicians and singers), a variety show that was very entertaining that their name escapes me and a Chinese acrobatic show that we both could have done without!  We attended another property presentation at T's request where we received $100 in WalMart gift cards and T got half.

We played miniature golf, checked out Branson's landing and attempted fishing.  The week went by entirely way too fast!  We stopped in St. Louis and went to the top of the Arch and went to the City Museum.  We had a blast at the Museum and I would highly recommend it!  We also went to the aquarium in the museum and T had a blast getting his "manicure" by the fish that nibbled on him! 

City Museum - Outside - St. Louis, Missouri

St. Louis Arch

T's Manicure

I didn't once regret my decision to not vacation with MS.  We texted and talked on the phone throughout our entire vacation, but I just felt that T and I had a much more relaxed and enjoyable time on our own.