This afternoon I confirmed that in fact, my son is not a genius. He took the ACT examination in June. While I had purchased a study guide to aid him in taking the test, he decided that he wanted to see how well he could do on his own.
Clearly taking the ACT and a recent 6th grade graduate is not normal. Not by my standards, that is. He took the test a few Saturdays ago and today I received an email that his scores were ready. Another pit in the stomach. What if? What if he scored really well? What if he didn't? What do I do or say as his mother? What do I hope that he scored?
Opening the email and logging into the site to get his scores, it was as if I had taken the exam myself. T had mentioned that the test was long and hard, especially the science. He guessed on a lot of questions as he didn't have time to get through them all.
After I looked at his scores, I researched the program that he was applying for to see what the minimum scores were needed to qualify. He did not qualify.
Personally, I think he did pretty well, scoring a composite score of 16 with his best score actually being in Science with a 19. I give him all the credit in the world for even taking the exam! Now I guess it's a matter of whether or not he should actually study the test taking guide and take it again for entrance into the program for 8th grade or we just throw in the towel and call it good.
Decisions...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Unjust & Unfair
Why does it seem like when it rains, it pours? I walked in the house tonight after a very long day and grabbed the mail on my way in the house. Quickly, I had a pit in my stomach as I recognized an envelope from Friend of the Court.
In opening the envelope I realized that in fact the FOC worker did receive my recent fax acknowledging that the income withholding was incorrect. I've complained about it in the past, but last May, FOC found a huge error not in my favor and therefore there was a large overage that I owed back to my son's father. FOC style, they cut my monthly payments in half until the overage was paid. IN HALF!
One night not so long ago, I finally managed to get through the automated system and learned that there was no longer a credit to the account. In fact, he owed more than two months of child support. I faxed a letter to the worker to address the issue.
Apparently, the fax was received and I received a copy of the new income withholding order. Are you ready?
In order for him to catch up on the past due, he is ordered to pay an arrearage fee. A fee that is less than 1/3...LESS THAN ONE THIRD of the amount that was withheld from me, when FOC made their latest error.
Please help me to understand how that is even remotely fair OR just.
In opening the envelope I realized that in fact the FOC worker did receive my recent fax acknowledging that the income withholding was incorrect. I've complained about it in the past, but last May, FOC found a huge error not in my favor and therefore there was a large overage that I owed back to my son's father. FOC style, they cut my monthly payments in half until the overage was paid. IN HALF!
One night not so long ago, I finally managed to get through the automated system and learned that there was no longer a credit to the account. In fact, he owed more than two months of child support. I faxed a letter to the worker to address the issue.
Apparently, the fax was received and I received a copy of the new income withholding order. Are you ready?
In order for him to catch up on the past due, he is ordered to pay an arrearage fee. A fee that is less than 1/3...LESS THAN ONE THIRD of the amount that was withheld from me, when FOC made their latest error.
Please help me to understand how that is even remotely fair OR just.
Failure or Overwhelmed?
I'm sitting here feeling like an absolute failure but wondering in all actuality the reality of the situation. I think more than a failure, it's the never ending feeling of being overwhelmed that encompasses and weighs down the inevitable being of existence.
With my new job, I've plummeted to the deepest levels of recess trying to swim, crawl, scratch my way to the surface for any minute amount of air. I lack supervision willing to assist me and the training is still a month out in the horizon. My A personality is finding me struggling to make ends meet. While feedback has been positive for the most part, my personal criticism leaves me feeling empty and less than par. My standards are set too high and any level of perfection is far on the horizon. I am enjoying getting out of the office and meeting people, even if I have made a few cry. Granted, this is not my goal or motive, I'm trying to do my job and assist people in doing theirs, and it's isn't going to be all roses.
Summer brings on new challenges with parenting and entertaining outside of the routine of school. To top it off, the new job and additional hours have affected my parenting time and availability. It couldn't have been more apparent this morning when my son bolted from the house with a winter coat held around his barren body covered in a pair of boxers to give me a hug and kiss through the car window. Seriously, I thought he was sleeping. It made me realize, I need to spend more time with him, but when?
I was hoping to go on a vacation next week, anywhere. I've been working very hard and earned the time off, it's whether or not I will leave work unfinished for my return. I'm leaning toward, I won't. It doesn't help that JC doesn't have as much time off as I could have, nor a passport, nor the financial stability. He would prefer to travel in Michigan or Wisconsin. My girlfriends aren't in a position to travel right now either and I'm not sure that I'm up for a solo travel across the country - afterall I can only entertain and find myself amusing for so long (about 15 minutes - if that!).
I'm beginning to think that I'm completely anti-social. Outside of my job, I really struggle with being social and personal. I'm not sure if it is the company I've been around late (especially JC's family...) or if it's just me in general. I spent Father's Day with JC's family and I can't recall a time where I felt more unwelcome or out of place and I don't know how or if it will ever change.
Maybe I'm struggling with a mid-life crisis. 35 is the new mid-life crisis, right? Or maybe I'm just really missing JN more than I imagined and feeling empty of a social life that I've submersed myself into my work and am feeling devoid of anything remotely called life.
With my new job, I've plummeted to the deepest levels of recess trying to swim, crawl, scratch my way to the surface for any minute amount of air. I lack supervision willing to assist me and the training is still a month out in the horizon. My A personality is finding me struggling to make ends meet. While feedback has been positive for the most part, my personal criticism leaves me feeling empty and less than par. My standards are set too high and any level of perfection is far on the horizon. I am enjoying getting out of the office and meeting people, even if I have made a few cry. Granted, this is not my goal or motive, I'm trying to do my job and assist people in doing theirs, and it's isn't going to be all roses.
Summer brings on new challenges with parenting and entertaining outside of the routine of school. To top it off, the new job and additional hours have affected my parenting time and availability. It couldn't have been more apparent this morning when my son bolted from the house with a winter coat held around his barren body covered in a pair of boxers to give me a hug and kiss through the car window. Seriously, I thought he was sleeping. It made me realize, I need to spend more time with him, but when?
I was hoping to go on a vacation next week, anywhere. I've been working very hard and earned the time off, it's whether or not I will leave work unfinished for my return. I'm leaning toward, I won't. It doesn't help that JC doesn't have as much time off as I could have, nor a passport, nor the financial stability. He would prefer to travel in Michigan or Wisconsin. My girlfriends aren't in a position to travel right now either and I'm not sure that I'm up for a solo travel across the country - afterall I can only entertain and find myself amusing for so long (about 15 minutes - if that!).
I'm beginning to think that I'm completely anti-social. Outside of my job, I really struggle with being social and personal. I'm not sure if it is the company I've been around late (especially JC's family...) or if it's just me in general. I spent Father's Day with JC's family and I can't recall a time where I felt more unwelcome or out of place and I don't know how or if it will ever change.
Maybe I'm struggling with a mid-life crisis. 35 is the new mid-life crisis, right? Or maybe I'm just really missing JN more than I imagined and feeling empty of a social life that I've submersed myself into my work and am feeling devoid of anything remotely called life.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
3 Months Later
I don't know about you, but I routinely have an issue with how quickly three months time flies! Specifically, when my three month prescription for birth control expires. I seem to find myself repeatedly in the predicament that I ran out. And everytime it happens, I vow to be more proactive and not do it again. And, it does.
This month, I completely thought I was OK. I had a packet sitting in my bathroom drawer. I went to grab it on Sunday and...it was empty. I called the pharmacy and my refill would be ready mid-morning Monday. Enough said.
Monday, after grocery shopping, my son and I were enroute home to put away our half-melted freezer items, when I remembered. I remembered that there sitting in the pharmacy was my prescription. I turned around and we went back to pick up my pills.
Not having anything to take the pills with in the car, I had to wait to get home and hope I didn't get too sidetracked to take the now two days worth. What was most entertaining was the conversation on the ride home with my son:
T: Mom, what is your medicine for?
Me: It's preventative medicine.
T: What does that mean? What is preventative?
Me: It prevents you from having a little brother or sister.
Long pause...
T: Um, Mom?
Me: Uh huh...
T: Don't you have to, ummm, well, you know?
Me: Have sex?
T: Uh, yeah.
Me: Yes T, you can't get pregnant without having sex, whether you take birth control pills or not.
And I did my best to not laugh. To not laugh until the tears rolled down my face at his innocence. Apparently regardless of our many, many sex talks and his health class, he is still naive and 12. While others around the country are finding themselves pregnant at 12, my son still questions exactly how one can conceive and I'm COMPLETELY OK WITH THAT!
This month, I completely thought I was OK. I had a packet sitting in my bathroom drawer. I went to grab it on Sunday and...it was empty. I called the pharmacy and my refill would be ready mid-morning Monday. Enough said.
Monday, after grocery shopping, my son and I were enroute home to put away our half-melted freezer items, when I remembered. I remembered that there sitting in the pharmacy was my prescription. I turned around and we went back to pick up my pills.
Not having anything to take the pills with in the car, I had to wait to get home and hope I didn't get too sidetracked to take the now two days worth. What was most entertaining was the conversation on the ride home with my son:
T: Mom, what is your medicine for?
Me: It's preventative medicine.
T: What does that mean? What is preventative?
Me: It prevents you from having a little brother or sister.
Long pause...
T: Um, Mom?
Me: Uh huh...
T: Don't you have to, ummm, well, you know?
Me: Have sex?
T: Uh, yeah.
Me: Yes T, you can't get pregnant without having sex, whether you take birth control pills or not.
And I did my best to not laugh. To not laugh until the tears rolled down my face at his innocence. Apparently regardless of our many, many sex talks and his health class, he is still naive and 12. While others around the country are finding themselves pregnant at 12, my son still questions exactly how one can conceive and I'm COMPLETELY OK WITH THAT!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Friday Fortune
Today is Friday. A day of fortune or misfortune as it may be.
JN's last day is today and a small group of us went to the local Chinese restaurant for lunch. I handed out all of the fortune cookies. What did my fortune say, you ask?
NOTHING. There wasn't even a blank piece of paper in my cookie. Talk about fortune!
JN's last day is today and a small group of us went to the local Chinese restaurant for lunch. I handed out all of the fortune cookies. What did my fortune say, you ask?
NOTHING. There wasn't even a blank piece of paper in my cookie. Talk about fortune!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Painting Complete
I managed to finish painting the living/dining room wall. I set out to get it painted by Sunday night and I was successful. Granted, part of that painting didn't include ripping out the shoe molding around all the baseboards either! I haven't yet, but I do intend on buying new molding, painting it and then putting it on! All in due time. Actually, for the most part, it doesn't look too bad without it.
The painting was a more than I bargained. I think my ambitions are somewhat thwarted for jumping into the hallway and the seven doorways and six doors for now! The windows do look great though and the fresh coat of paint looks amazing. The room just looks clean. I moved around some of the furniture, pictures and attempted a new look with the drapes. It was merely by accident, how I ended up tying the drapes, so I went with it and I'm going to leave it for a while. Sometimes there is nothing better than embracing change! Although in the midst of the cleaning and moving I wanted to call someone to refinish my hardwood floors and then purchase new furniture and then...well anyway - at least at that moment I didn't jump online to look at recent foreclosure listings!
Relationships Revisited
Now that I finally have blogged about the trip, I feel like I can move on! I have seen his mom, dad and grandma several times since we got home. I haven't seen D or the brother-in-law. If it weren't for the fact that his father was hospitalized this past Saturday, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have seen them yet. JC and I have visited the hospital twice since he was admitted with pneumonia in his lung.
His grandma was actually more than pleasant with me at the hospital. She hugged me and kissed my cheek, thanking us for coming when we left. So clearly, regardless of any animosity during the trip, there weren't any words shed between grandma and I. It was just that raw, intense, gut jerking feeling that you get when under stress and time frames and someone seems to affect the ability to make progress. Now D, that relationship or lack thereof is another story. I wonder what it will be like the next time I see her.
JC's friends commended me for hanging in with the family for the entire trip. JC did advise me before the trip not to hold his family against him and affect our relationship. He had actually pleaded that with me! Apparently none of his friends like his sister, so I suppose I shouldn't take anything too personal, which I don't. I'm hoping it was a once in a lifetime experience, and leave it at that!
His grandma was actually more than pleasant with me at the hospital. She hugged me and kissed my cheek, thanking us for coming when we left. So clearly, regardless of any animosity during the trip, there weren't any words shed between grandma and I. It was just that raw, intense, gut jerking feeling that you get when under stress and time frames and someone seems to affect the ability to make progress. Now D, that relationship or lack thereof is another story. I wonder what it will be like the next time I see her.
JC's friends commended me for hanging in with the family for the entire trip. JC did advise me before the trip not to hold his family against him and affect our relationship. He had actually pleaded that with me! Apparently none of his friends like his sister, so I suppose I shouldn't take anything too personal, which I don't. I'm hoping it was a once in a lifetime experience, and leave it at that!
Cross Country Adventure Day 5 - May 17, 2009
The shower was tolerable. Actually, it was better than that. The water took some getting used to as it was scalding hot, but it was wet and I was clean and for that, I'll take hot any day!
We crawled into bed. The kind of bed that you wondered if the room was rented by the hour. The kind of bed that when you laid on it, you could hear the rustling of the plastic from the mattress cover. The kind of bed that made thoughts run through your mind of how many prostitutes had laid in the exact same spot or how many murders had happened upon this very room. The kind of bed and the kind of room that if you weren't sleep deprived and absolutely desperate for a bed to rest your head on and the ability to slumber even if for only a half dozen hours, you would consider bolting quickly.
But what really mattered most at that point...I was laying in the arms of the man that I love. The strong hold, yet exhausted, of a man that I admire, that I love that I want to be with. That through all the turmoil of his family, the stress of the pre-trip and the trip itself, that we had made it through more than half of the journey, together. That there were bumps along the road, but we had worked it out. That at the end of the night, it didn't matter where it was that we laid, in some small hick town in Missouri in a side of the road motel, we were together. And that truly was all that mattered.
JC can fall asleep on a dime. He can mention he's getting tired or sleepy and no joke, within 30 seconds he's out. Me on the other hand, I'm lucky if it's 30 minutes! But, fortunately I was so exhausted, I fell asleep quickly too. Well, that is after we had issues with the air conditioner and JC had to get out of bed several times!
The alarm went off at 6:00a.m. which was followed by our all to familiar banging on the door by his sister D. We quickly got up, got dressed and took our bags to the car. We were ready to leave within 8 minutes of the alarm. Needless to say, no one else was, but I have to give them credit, we left within 20 minutes.
Since we had fueled up the vehicles the night before, we hit the highway and headed north toward home. We stopped at the first stop about 175 miles away. We fueled up at the truck stop. JC walked inside to purchase a beverage while I waited in the U-haul for him and was ready to move on out. His mom approached the U-haul and asked for JC. I mentioned that he was inside buying a drink and she said that we needed to move the U-haul because they were stopping for breakfast. What?
So not only did they not want to get a hotel, but now after three hours on the road we needed to stop for a sit down breakfast? I personally had told JC that we should stay in the hotel and let them drive off. We would catch up to them with all of their stops. He said that wasn't a viable option as we had the tools and JC had the ability to fix a vehicle if anything happened. We would continue to caravan, regardless.
I attempted to move the U-haul and park it, without success. I called JC and he had to come and move it. Just didn't see the purpose to take out any parked vehicles, especially so close to the trip being over!
JC and I walked into the restaurant together and sat down at the table. There was a buffet and all but three of us ordered the buffet. Dad commented on my ability to drive the U-haul and said that he was impressed with my driving skills given it was my first time. D sat kitty-corner across from me and told stories while looking at me, but not really talking to me. Of course most of the stories were there horror stories of the hotel. Mom stated it was the worst hotel she had stayed in...EVER. Grandma apparently tore off all the bedding and searched for bugs. The nephew found a bug in the shower and didn't know if it was a spider or a roach which freaked out D. Their room also didn't have a remote for the t.v. And on and on their bitching went.
I admit that at the beginning of this post, I bitched about the hotel. Although, I would say that I was clarifying the hotel/motel more than complaining. But, I would never complain in front of others like that, especially if it was someone else's idea. Regardless. Mom's house was horribly dirty and nasty. I would never live there, but she can say that was the worst place she had ever stayed. Personally, I was more comfortable there than in the bed at their house! But, I knew that they would complain, because honestly that is what this family does best. They are disorganized, point the finger blaming type that does nothing better than bitch, argue and disagree. They clearly do not enjoy the comfort of each other's company. They had no intention of making this trip a positive one. We were on a mission...and if relationships were severed or feelings hurt, so be it. We had to get home.
The rest of the trip was rather uneventful. D continued to blaze her own path, despite what she suggested since dad was even more weary and we had to slow down. Finally pulling over at a rest area, D took over driving for dad for the remainder of the ride home.
The arrangements were for us to take the U-haul directly to JC's house. That way we didn't have to worry about how we would get home. The brother-in-law's wife (the other sister) welcomed us over for sloppy joes when we got home, which JC declined. We had had enough family.
All in all, the trip from the time we left Bullhead Arizona to the time we arrived in JC's driveway was just over 2000 miles and 54 hours. From my calculations, we spent 42 of those hours driving, so we did manage to stop for 12 hours for the night at the hotel and the night before, although they weren't all sleeping hours. The 12 hours were hours in between stopping for the night while the 42 hours weren't all road hours, they included from the time we got in the vehicles in the morning to the time we stopped for the evening, regardless of the duration.
We survived. Granted JC and I spent a great majority of the next 18 hours in bed, both having called in sick to work that Monday. Clearly, if the trip had been better planned (if I had planned it!) it would have included ample rest that wouldn't have required a full day of recuperation and would have included some nice stops en route. Then again, if I had planned it, JC and I would have done the trip ALONE.
We crawled into bed. The kind of bed that you wondered if the room was rented by the hour. The kind of bed that when you laid on it, you could hear the rustling of the plastic from the mattress cover. The kind of bed that made thoughts run through your mind of how many prostitutes had laid in the exact same spot or how many murders had happened upon this very room. The kind of bed and the kind of room that if you weren't sleep deprived and absolutely desperate for a bed to rest your head on and the ability to slumber even if for only a half dozen hours, you would consider bolting quickly.
But what really mattered most at that point...I was laying in the arms of the man that I love. The strong hold, yet exhausted, of a man that I admire, that I love that I want to be with. That through all the turmoil of his family, the stress of the pre-trip and the trip itself, that we had made it through more than half of the journey, together. That there were bumps along the road, but we had worked it out. That at the end of the night, it didn't matter where it was that we laid, in some small hick town in Missouri in a side of the road motel, we were together. And that truly was all that mattered.
JC can fall asleep on a dime. He can mention he's getting tired or sleepy and no joke, within 30 seconds he's out. Me on the other hand, I'm lucky if it's 30 minutes! But, fortunately I was so exhausted, I fell asleep quickly too. Well, that is after we had issues with the air conditioner and JC had to get out of bed several times!
The alarm went off at 6:00a.m. which was followed by our all to familiar banging on the door by his sister D. We quickly got up, got dressed and took our bags to the car. We were ready to leave within 8 minutes of the alarm. Needless to say, no one else was, but I have to give them credit, we left within 20 minutes.
Since we had fueled up the vehicles the night before, we hit the highway and headed north toward home. We stopped at the first stop about 175 miles away. We fueled up at the truck stop. JC walked inside to purchase a beverage while I waited in the U-haul for him and was ready to move on out. His mom approached the U-haul and asked for JC. I mentioned that he was inside buying a drink and she said that we needed to move the U-haul because they were stopping for breakfast. What?
So not only did they not want to get a hotel, but now after three hours on the road we needed to stop for a sit down breakfast? I personally had told JC that we should stay in the hotel and let them drive off. We would catch up to them with all of their stops. He said that wasn't a viable option as we had the tools and JC had the ability to fix a vehicle if anything happened. We would continue to caravan, regardless.
I attempted to move the U-haul and park it, without success. I called JC and he had to come and move it. Just didn't see the purpose to take out any parked vehicles, especially so close to the trip being over!
JC and I walked into the restaurant together and sat down at the table. There was a buffet and all but three of us ordered the buffet. Dad commented on my ability to drive the U-haul and said that he was impressed with my driving skills given it was my first time. D sat kitty-corner across from me and told stories while looking at me, but not really talking to me. Of course most of the stories were there horror stories of the hotel. Mom stated it was the worst hotel she had stayed in...EVER. Grandma apparently tore off all the bedding and searched for bugs. The nephew found a bug in the shower and didn't know if it was a spider or a roach which freaked out D. Their room also didn't have a remote for the t.v. And on and on their bitching went.
I admit that at the beginning of this post, I bitched about the hotel. Although, I would say that I was clarifying the hotel/motel more than complaining. But, I would never complain in front of others like that, especially if it was someone else's idea. Regardless. Mom's house was horribly dirty and nasty. I would never live there, but she can say that was the worst place she had ever stayed. Personally, I was more comfortable there than in the bed at their house! But, I knew that they would complain, because honestly that is what this family does best. They are disorganized, point the finger blaming type that does nothing better than bitch, argue and disagree. They clearly do not enjoy the comfort of each other's company. They had no intention of making this trip a positive one. We were on a mission...and if relationships were severed or feelings hurt, so be it. We had to get home.
The rest of the trip was rather uneventful. D continued to blaze her own path, despite what she suggested since dad was even more weary and we had to slow down. Finally pulling over at a rest area, D took over driving for dad for the remainder of the ride home.
The arrangements were for us to take the U-haul directly to JC's house. That way we didn't have to worry about how we would get home. The brother-in-law's wife (the other sister) welcomed us over for sloppy joes when we got home, which JC declined. We had had enough family.
All in all, the trip from the time we left Bullhead Arizona to the time we arrived in JC's driveway was just over 2000 miles and 54 hours. From my calculations, we spent 42 of those hours driving, so we did manage to stop for 12 hours for the night at the hotel and the night before, although they weren't all sleeping hours. The 12 hours were hours in between stopping for the night while the 42 hours weren't all road hours, they included from the time we got in the vehicles in the morning to the time we stopped for the evening, regardless of the duration.
We survived. Granted JC and I spent a great majority of the next 18 hours in bed, both having called in sick to work that Monday. Clearly, if the trip had been better planned (if I had planned it!) it would have included ample rest that wouldn't have required a full day of recuperation and would have included some nice stops en route. Then again, if I had planned it, JC and I would have done the trip ALONE.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Cross County Adventure Day 4 - May 16, 2009
After being rudely awakened by D, we begrudgingly got up. I actually wasn't doing too terrible after the few hours of sleep, with the exception of the dry contact eyes that felt like a cross between rough sandpaper and glue.
We went inside the truck stop and used the bathroom. D was already complaining about her $8.00 shower and her $2.50 soap purchase. Since we were awake, I was ready to leave. I don't drink coffee and if I had to be up, I might as well be on the road. That however wasn't the consensus and I meandered around the truck stop for a while browsing the sales items while others ate food or drank coffee. About 1.5 hours later, we finally pulled out of the truck stop. Needless to say, I wasn't the happiest of campers, I would have preferred to sleep and be woken up a few minutes before leaving. At this point I have no idea what time it was, but it was still dark out and I'm guessing it was well before 7:00a.m.
Due to the large loads that we were carrying, we had to stop about every 200 miles. This was equivalent to about 3.5-4 hours. Dad was getting more and more tired. He managed to blow through a toll, despite the two miles of signs indicating the upcoming toll. He also barrelled over a construction cone. At one point, JC got out and took over the RV while I drove the U-haul and was accompanied by the 16-year old nephew. Personally I was fine with driving solo, but no one else seemed to think that was a good idea. The nephew kept trying to figure out what time we were going to get home the following day, saying that we only needed to stop for a couple hours again to get home around noon on Sunday. What? Like mother like son, clearly.
We stopped for a late breakfast at about 11:45a.m. (2:45p.m. Michigan time). The restaurant came with high recommendations of a breakfast buffet. D and the RV dawdled at the gas station for almost 1/2 an hour and finally got to the restaurant claiming that the tire pressures were down over 20#'s. Breakfast stopped being served at 11:00a.m., so D had to gripe about not eating them. She finally settled on a grilled cheese.
JC and I were the first to arrive at the restaurant. We flagged down his parents and helped them with the parking situation. We went into the restaurant to grab a table. I specifically asked that grandma sit next to mom and she agreed; however, when grandma arrived she choose to sit next to me. Lucky me.
Clearly I'm not an assaultive type of person, but again, a short fuse on little sleep I have to admit is highly probable. I was pretty sure I knew what was best for grandma and that was to sit as far away from me as possible; however, that seemed to be the general theme: no one wanted to be near grandma.
I did my best to converse with grandma. She of course was clearly repetitive and failed to listen after questions. She asked four times what the soup was, "Vegetable Beef". Of course my reiterating it to her wasn't good enough and she asked the waitress a handful more times. Then she went on about how she can't have peppers and are there peppers in the soup. The waitress didn't understand and I must have told grandma three times, if not more, yes grandma, peppers are vegetables and they are in the Vegetable Beef soup. Grandma finally opted to not get the soup and was glad that she could order from the senior menu. Mom on the other hand, not so fortunate and I had to hear about it six times that she wasn't eligible for the 65 and older but in Arizona they are eligible at 62 and they better find restaurants in Michigan that the senior age is 62, and...and...and...as I tried hard to let the dribble drone on and out.
Meanwhile I tried to make small talk with grandma. She made some comment about Ohio and I mentioned, "Oh, so you aren't a fan of Ohio?" Apparently that must have been a sore subject as I received a gentle elbow to the ribs from JC. We did manage to finish our lunch without incident. I didn't even try to poison grandma once.
Back on the road, we ventured onward. D was getting better at stating we had to slow down as dad was having difficulties and then she would drive ahead of us and push 70mph. Clearly the vehicles traveled best between 60-65mph. but D claimed she had to "make up time" when she could, regardless of anyone else.
The ride was pretty boring. I would have thought JC and I would have shared many stories and really enhanced our relationship. This truly wasn't the case. When I drove, I felt even more isolated as he sat far off against the window and he often dozed off. Conversation was very minimal. When he drove, I sat in the middle trying to encourage conversation or to get him anything he needed to be comfortable. I couldn't sleep as a passenger. I did have a few phone conversations to help pass the time.
Tensions were getting higher as we became more fatigued. The ride couldn't end soon enough. Dad was needing more and more rest. D was more and more irritable and couldn't get away from the family quick enough.
At our dinner stop, I told JC that I wanted to find a hotel for the night. Clearly I wasn't about to attempt to "sleep" in the RV again. I really am considerate and wanted grandma and her mutt to live! I used the GPS, which for the most part was pretty good although some of the gas stations had since gone out of business. I researched the map and then the GPS looking for a gas station/truck stop with a nearby hotel. The GPS listed a Budget Deluxe Motel in Rolla, Missouri with a nearby gas station. I called the hotel to discuss rates and availability and learned that a reservation wasn't needed and the rate was $43.00. I was pretty positive that this wasn't going to be a great hotel, but something away from grandma would be heaven, even if for half a dozen hours! I also knew that it could be like the roach motel for the rate and the fact that there would be availability on a Saturday evening without a reservation, but I didn't care.
JC didn't seem to want to disclose to his family that we would be getting a hotel room. I assumed that they would all crash in the RV again. JC did tell his sister D at the stop that we had planned on staying in a hotel. She didn't seem like it was that big of a deal, especially given her spitting water $8.00 shower of the morning.
The exit before our exit was scattered with name brand hotels: Holiday Inn, Hampton, etc. Hotels I would have loved to stay at if we were actually going to be there for any duration. But seeing that I was the one forking over the bill for a few hours of silence and convenience, I wasn't going to go for the high dollar while the family struggled in the parking lot! I also confirmed that there was ample parking for our vehicles at the hotel behind the gas station.
The hotel of course was nothing that I would venture back to. The front desk closed at midnight and the attendant was standing outside smoking, watching us across the parking lot getting gas. It was just after 11:00p.m. Missouri time. We had traveled approximately 1360 miles since leaving the morning before and had been traveling for about 32 hours. I walked over to the hotel to check in while JC pumped gas. I have to say that the man was a tad bit creepy commenting on my sexy phone voice and my good looks - obviously creepy since I had been traveling for 32 hours without a shower!
I was impressed that the $43.00 was the final price, all taxes and fees included. The room was on the main level, there actually was a second story as well. I checked out the room, which offered two queen beds, a small bathroom, refrigerator, t.v., and microwave. More than we needed!
I went back to the parking lot where I encountered D. She went on to say that if we left in three hours we could arrive back home by 1:30p.m. on Sunday, according to her GPS (mind you the GPS doesn't include stops!). I told D that we needed sleep and that there wasn't a reason that we needed to get home that early. She started yelling at me about her having priorities. I told her that I had priorities as well, but that the plan had been to arrive home Sunday evening and that we needed sleep. She yelled that she had gotten sleep either and that they weren't getting a hotel room. I said that was fine, but that JC and I needed sleep. I said that the couple hours of sleep wasn't enough and that JC and I didn't need to get up as early as the rest of them. I went on to say, "We dicked around this morning for 1.5 hours before we left. JC and I could have gotten up ten minutes before we left." Apparently that wasn't the right wording for this irate sister. She went on to yell at me that SHE didn't dick around. I said that I didn't say that it was her, but that it took that long for us to leave. She said that JC didn't drive the last several hours and he should be fine to drive, which I said that he wasn't. She then went on to yell at me, "Well, I didn't invite you on this trip!" And with that, she stormed off into the gas station with her mother in tow.
I got into the passenger seat of the U-haul and sat there. I observed D glaring at me from the station window. I called JN to vent about what had just happened. At this point I was in near tears. I really can be emotional and the stress of JC's family and lack of sleep had really marked it's toll on me. I just wanted some peace and silence and sleep. Pushing everyone to their limits wasn't benefiting anyone and I knew that no matter how much we all wanted to end this road trip, to do it safely we needed to stop and rest for many hours. JC got into the U-haul and I hung up with JN to tell him what had transpired with his sister. I stayed in the vehicle while he got out to talk to the family.
We then parked the U-haul, grabbed our suitcases and went to the room. I was clearly looking forward to a shower and rest. The room didn't have a blow dryer, but I didn't care, it had hot water and a towel and that was good enough for me. I truly am not high maintenance! JC left the room to visit with his dad. Oh and I forgot to mention that when we were walking to the hotel, whom happened to be at the registration desk? Mom and grandma!
JC came back and said that everyone was getting a room. What? Why would they spend the money to get a room when they had the RV? I could only imagine the bitching of the room from the family. Wouldn't they just stay in the comforts of their own? How did I know that I would be responsible for their adventure and likely misfortune? I tried not to worry about it, as it was about my shower and my sleep. Everyone agreed that we would get up at 6:00a.m. Six hours of solitude with JC.
Solitude, Silence and Sleep. Heaven here I come.
We went inside the truck stop and used the bathroom. D was already complaining about her $8.00 shower and her $2.50 soap purchase. Since we were awake, I was ready to leave. I don't drink coffee and if I had to be up, I might as well be on the road. That however wasn't the consensus and I meandered around the truck stop for a while browsing the sales items while others ate food or drank coffee. About 1.5 hours later, we finally pulled out of the truck stop. Needless to say, I wasn't the happiest of campers, I would have preferred to sleep and be woken up a few minutes before leaving. At this point I have no idea what time it was, but it was still dark out and I'm guessing it was well before 7:00a.m.
Due to the large loads that we were carrying, we had to stop about every 200 miles. This was equivalent to about 3.5-4 hours. Dad was getting more and more tired. He managed to blow through a toll, despite the two miles of signs indicating the upcoming toll. He also barrelled over a construction cone. At one point, JC got out and took over the RV while I drove the U-haul and was accompanied by the 16-year old nephew. Personally I was fine with driving solo, but no one else seemed to think that was a good idea. The nephew kept trying to figure out what time we were going to get home the following day, saying that we only needed to stop for a couple hours again to get home around noon on Sunday. What? Like mother like son, clearly.
We stopped for a late breakfast at about 11:45a.m. (2:45p.m. Michigan time). The restaurant came with high recommendations of a breakfast buffet. D and the RV dawdled at the gas station for almost 1/2 an hour and finally got to the restaurant claiming that the tire pressures were down over 20#'s. Breakfast stopped being served at 11:00a.m., so D had to gripe about not eating them. She finally settled on a grilled cheese.
JC and I were the first to arrive at the restaurant. We flagged down his parents and helped them with the parking situation. We went into the restaurant to grab a table. I specifically asked that grandma sit next to mom and she agreed; however, when grandma arrived she choose to sit next to me. Lucky me.
Clearly I'm not an assaultive type of person, but again, a short fuse on little sleep I have to admit is highly probable. I was pretty sure I knew what was best for grandma and that was to sit as far away from me as possible; however, that seemed to be the general theme: no one wanted to be near grandma.
I did my best to converse with grandma. She of course was clearly repetitive and failed to listen after questions. She asked four times what the soup was, "Vegetable Beef". Of course my reiterating it to her wasn't good enough and she asked the waitress a handful more times. Then she went on about how she can't have peppers and are there peppers in the soup. The waitress didn't understand and I must have told grandma three times, if not more, yes grandma, peppers are vegetables and they are in the Vegetable Beef soup. Grandma finally opted to not get the soup and was glad that she could order from the senior menu. Mom on the other hand, not so fortunate and I had to hear about it six times that she wasn't eligible for the 65 and older but in Arizona they are eligible at 62 and they better find restaurants in Michigan that the senior age is 62, and...and...and...as I tried hard to let the dribble drone on and out.
Meanwhile I tried to make small talk with grandma. She made some comment about Ohio and I mentioned, "Oh, so you aren't a fan of Ohio?" Apparently that must have been a sore subject as I received a gentle elbow to the ribs from JC. We did manage to finish our lunch without incident. I didn't even try to poison grandma once.
Back on the road, we ventured onward. D was getting better at stating we had to slow down as dad was having difficulties and then she would drive ahead of us and push 70mph. Clearly the vehicles traveled best between 60-65mph. but D claimed she had to "make up time" when she could, regardless of anyone else.
The ride was pretty boring. I would have thought JC and I would have shared many stories and really enhanced our relationship. This truly wasn't the case. When I drove, I felt even more isolated as he sat far off against the window and he often dozed off. Conversation was very minimal. When he drove, I sat in the middle trying to encourage conversation or to get him anything he needed to be comfortable. I couldn't sleep as a passenger. I did have a few phone conversations to help pass the time.
Tensions were getting higher as we became more fatigued. The ride couldn't end soon enough. Dad was needing more and more rest. D was more and more irritable and couldn't get away from the family quick enough.
At our dinner stop, I told JC that I wanted to find a hotel for the night. Clearly I wasn't about to attempt to "sleep" in the RV again. I really am considerate and wanted grandma and her mutt to live! I used the GPS, which for the most part was pretty good although some of the gas stations had since gone out of business. I researched the map and then the GPS looking for a gas station/truck stop with a nearby hotel. The GPS listed a Budget Deluxe Motel in Rolla, Missouri with a nearby gas station. I called the hotel to discuss rates and availability and learned that a reservation wasn't needed and the rate was $43.00. I was pretty positive that this wasn't going to be a great hotel, but something away from grandma would be heaven, even if for half a dozen hours! I also knew that it could be like the roach motel for the rate and the fact that there would be availability on a Saturday evening without a reservation, but I didn't care.
JC didn't seem to want to disclose to his family that we would be getting a hotel room. I assumed that they would all crash in the RV again. JC did tell his sister D at the stop that we had planned on staying in a hotel. She didn't seem like it was that big of a deal, especially given her spitting water $8.00 shower of the morning.
The exit before our exit was scattered with name brand hotels: Holiday Inn, Hampton, etc. Hotels I would have loved to stay at if we were actually going to be there for any duration. But seeing that I was the one forking over the bill for a few hours of silence and convenience, I wasn't going to go for the high dollar while the family struggled in the parking lot! I also confirmed that there was ample parking for our vehicles at the hotel behind the gas station.
The hotel of course was nothing that I would venture back to. The front desk closed at midnight and the attendant was standing outside smoking, watching us across the parking lot getting gas. It was just after 11:00p.m. Missouri time. We had traveled approximately 1360 miles since leaving the morning before and had been traveling for about 32 hours. I walked over to the hotel to check in while JC pumped gas. I have to say that the man was a tad bit creepy commenting on my sexy phone voice and my good looks - obviously creepy since I had been traveling for 32 hours without a shower!
I was impressed that the $43.00 was the final price, all taxes and fees included. The room was on the main level, there actually was a second story as well. I checked out the room, which offered two queen beds, a small bathroom, refrigerator, t.v., and microwave. More than we needed!
I went back to the parking lot where I encountered D. She went on to say that if we left in three hours we could arrive back home by 1:30p.m. on Sunday, according to her GPS (mind you the GPS doesn't include stops!). I told D that we needed sleep and that there wasn't a reason that we needed to get home that early. She started yelling at me about her having priorities. I told her that I had priorities as well, but that the plan had been to arrive home Sunday evening and that we needed sleep. She yelled that she had gotten sleep either and that they weren't getting a hotel room. I said that was fine, but that JC and I needed sleep. I said that the couple hours of sleep wasn't enough and that JC and I didn't need to get up as early as the rest of them. I went on to say, "We dicked around this morning for 1.5 hours before we left. JC and I could have gotten up ten minutes before we left." Apparently that wasn't the right wording for this irate sister. She went on to yell at me that SHE didn't dick around. I said that I didn't say that it was her, but that it took that long for us to leave. She said that JC didn't drive the last several hours and he should be fine to drive, which I said that he wasn't. She then went on to yell at me, "Well, I didn't invite you on this trip!" And with that, she stormed off into the gas station with her mother in tow.
I got into the passenger seat of the U-haul and sat there. I observed D glaring at me from the station window. I called JN to vent about what had just happened. At this point I was in near tears. I really can be emotional and the stress of JC's family and lack of sleep had really marked it's toll on me. I just wanted some peace and silence and sleep. Pushing everyone to their limits wasn't benefiting anyone and I knew that no matter how much we all wanted to end this road trip, to do it safely we needed to stop and rest for many hours. JC got into the U-haul and I hung up with JN to tell him what had transpired with his sister. I stayed in the vehicle while he got out to talk to the family.
We then parked the U-haul, grabbed our suitcases and went to the room. I was clearly looking forward to a shower and rest. The room didn't have a blow dryer, but I didn't care, it had hot water and a towel and that was good enough for me. I truly am not high maintenance! JC left the room to visit with his dad. Oh and I forgot to mention that when we were walking to the hotel, whom happened to be at the registration desk? Mom and grandma!
JC came back and said that everyone was getting a room. What? Why would they spend the money to get a room when they had the RV? I could only imagine the bitching of the room from the family. Wouldn't they just stay in the comforts of their own? How did I know that I would be responsible for their adventure and likely misfortune? I tried not to worry about it, as it was about my shower and my sleep. Everyone agreed that we would get up at 6:00a.m. Six hours of solitude with JC.
Solitude, Silence and Sleep. Heaven here I come.
Cross Country Adventure Day 3 - May 15, 2009
(At what point is a trip so long ago that it falls into the deep recesses of our memory to be left alone and never be told? I suppose since I haven't hit 35 yet, I still recall the events of the trip as if they were almost yesterday.)
Delirious and with a sore ear from jamming my finger into my left ear drum while smashing my right ear into JC's chest to get some semblance of sleep, I wasn't really the most coherent in the morning. I don't recall exactly what time or how we managed to get up. I believe it was the noise of the first people returning back to the house from the hotel. I think JC and I managed to get about four hours of sleep, if that.
Immediately we went outside to finish up the last of the hook-ups and packing. Everyone seemed to be pretty quiet for the most part with the final touches of packing. We pulled out of the driveway and off to the gas station just before 11:30a.m., clearly not the 8:30a.m. that JC and I had hoped.
Day 1 on the road was nothing but an adventure. Caravaning with three large vehicles and one car was definitely enough in and of itself. My phone was constantly ringing with D calling to give updates or ask questions. For the most part, we were all within vision of each other for the entire trip.
The RV had a flat tire, which took a short while to repair. JC and I were in the front of the caravan so we pulled over and watched some of a movie and rested while we waited. We stopped for gas only and whomever was hungry grabbed something to eat. At one truck stop there was a RV/tire repair store so the RV tire was fixed and a few other tires were purchased.
The day ended after about 14 hours of driving. We managed to travel a whopping 750 miles. JC was hoping that we would have made it to Oklahoma before stopping; we made it to Albuquerque. JC drove the majority of the day and just before dusk he decided he was too tired to drive.
Mind you, I have never driven a U-haul or a trailer. And I hate driving at night when I'm in unfamiliar territory due to my depth perception issues from my RK surgery. So, I found myself driving at night, through construction, weaving in and out of construction often very close to the cement barricade wall (the family voted that I was the closest to actually hitting the wall!) in the city. I thought I did fine and imagined that I was driving my compact car! I drove for several hours until we finally stopped.
We stopped at a gas station where D said that we would stop for a couple hours. She was overly excited that we had stopped at a truck stop that had showers so that we could all shower and refresh before continuing onward. JC and I headed to the RV to try to get a few hours of sleep. In the RV was the brother-in-law, grandma, mom, dad, two dogs and the cat. Grandma kept offering to give up her couch in the RV but JC decided he would unbury the back sleep bench. Finally I convinced him that grandma doesn't drive and that we should take the couch and make it into a bed, which he agreed.
Of course all sounded well for the weak, weary and exhausted, right? WRONG.
Not even seconds after laying down, grandma started. She was in the front coach seat and yelled back to dad at the back of the RV about him taking his medications. Then she carried on about this and that and this and that. I seriously wanted to cause her some bodily harm at this point. Five of us were semi-comatose and grandma is carrying on like there is no tomorrow in that overly loud and obnoxious elderly deaf voice. (Yeah, you know the one.)
If that wasn't bad enough, grandma's mangy dog decided my calves were great to walk on. With inches of claws into my calves I was ready to drop kick "Changey", anywhere far away from me. JC kept telling grandma to be quiet and me to relax. Which was exactly what I was trying to do.
At some point, I finally managed to fall asleep. And what happened next? Seriously less than two hours later, D came pounding on the RV door shouting for us to all wake up!
What hellacious nightmare was I in? Besides, my first experience in Arizona and New Mexico included truck stops, gas stations and pictures from a moving U-haul. Can it get any better than that?
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